4. Hisui (2)

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[I have decided to curse you with bald ingo (it looks fine on him lol, besides its been canon for years)]


Irida: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Akari!
Adaman: So Akari knows about this?
Irida, walking away: No, this is between me and me!


Arceus: What are you two arguing about this time?
Adaman: He's always using common phrases incorrectly!
Melli: Cry me a table, Adaman.


Akari: *writing a letter*
Akari: Dear Deliberd,
I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...
And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.


Volo: Do we have any berry juice left?
Rei: *pours the remaining juice into his cup*
Rei: Sorry, we're all out.


Akari, watching Ingo & Arceus panic : What's going on?
Rei: Ingo is having a midlife crisis and Arceus is just having a crisis.


Ingo, about Arceus: They're speaking some kind of Kalosian.
Akari: Let me handle it. I speak Paldean. It's the same thing.


Akari: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.
Irida: You mean you stabbed them?
Akari: They ran into my knife.


Arceus: Do you know a Shuckle's only weakness?
Akari: No... well, their slowness.
Arceus: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.
Arceus: Now I have a plan.
Arceus: If I duct tape two Shuckle together, they'll be unstoppable.


Melli: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Irida: 'Prettiest Smile'
Volo: 'Nicest Personality'
Akari: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Ingo: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'


Adaman: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Melli, are a fucking cactus.


Rei: Guys, there's a monster under my bed and it's really ugly.
Melli, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.


Ingo: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*
Ingo: Nah, I'm just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.


Ingo: Volo, fuck off.
Ingo: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.


Melli: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.
Volo: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.


Ingo: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.
Volo: Heck.
Ingo: You're on thin fucking ice.
Ingo: Oh no-


Akari: That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Adaman?
Adaman: No.
Akari: I think I speak for Adaman when I say it sounds really super.


Irida: Why are you drinking?
Arceus: I drink when I'm depressed.
Irida: But you're always drinking?
Arceus: *smug grin*


Arceus: Welcome to my room. As you can see, I've knocked over many chairs because I get so tilted at the towers.
Rei: Uh, this isn't really tilted. Or a tower.
Arceus: Well you see, it's a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here because I get friendzoned so frequently. But that's okay.
Rei: I'd like to be in the Friendzone! I like friends!
Arceus: It's not as pleasant as you think. They don't treat you like a friend. They treat you like an item. Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory to these women; But unfortunately, as a gamer, I don't get respect.
Rei: I'm not a gamer! so maybe they'll respect me!
Arceus: That just makes you a beta cuck.


Arceus: How the hell are you still alive?
Akari: Honestly, I'm just as confused as you are.


Rei: Akari! For the love of almighty Sinnoh, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.
Akari: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.


Volo: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.


Arceus: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.
Akari: All I drank was Redbull!
Arceus: How many?
Akari: Eighteen.


Arceus: What's wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone's throat out.
Melli: Fucking Akari and Volo were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.


Arceus: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.


Akari: Are you this rude to everyone?!
Melli: Yup.
Melli: Don't think you're special.


Arceus, texting Akari: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater...
Akari′s phone, auto-replying: I'm driving right now–I'll get back to you later.
*Later*
Akari, texting back: Fuck you.


Ingo: Do you even know what an amulet is?
Adaman: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!
Ingo: Adaman, those are omelettes.
Adaman: Oh. Then I've got nothing.

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