Chapter 19| Sullen

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I never do anything. But yet I'm still the problem. I have everything I want expect what I need. Now after all these years I've finally come to realize that my loving family isn't what they seem. They've left me behind. Thrown me around. Ran over me. Sent me away for having childish needs. And worst....threw away my heart. I am a sullen human but I have a bright shell. Everyone took my love for granted and called me a baby....

Flashback(April 9th, 1967)

"Mommy I'm so excited for my birthday! I'm so happy! I'm so happy!" I said as I clapped my hands, jumping up and down lightly. I heard mommy sigh as she tightened my silk pink tie that went around my waist on my cute pink princess dress. She dusted it off as she held a cigarette in her other hand.

"Yes yes I know you are honey we all are." She said with sarcasm in her voice while getting up and turning back around. Once she got up she grabbed her phone with her hand after holding it with the side of her head. She then turned around and started speaking to the other person on the line but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

I walked over to the big mirror and checked myself out. Wow! I'm gonna be 7 years old! I'm a big girl now! Oh yeah! I'll show mama my drawing that I made of her she'll love it!

I quickly ran to my little nightstand that was beside my bed. I opened it and pulled out a paper that showed a stick figure with some hair and a pretty red dress, holding hands with another small stick figure who had puff ponytails and a pink dress. It was labeled "best mom ever". I smiled at and ran to mommy.

I tugged on her dress lightly, hoping to get her attention. She continued talking on the phone. I tugged it again only a little harder. She glanced down at me quickly.

"Ugh hold on...sweetie you need to remember that when mommy's on the phone you need to wait." She said bending down at my level.

"But mommy I just wanted to-"

"Ugh, stop calling me mommy please. You're 7 fucking years old Kyle. At least say mom or mama but not mommy." She then got back up and continued talking on the phone.

"I'm sorry..." I muttered. I walked away slowly as I felt the urge to cry. I put the picture back and walked out the room. But I quickly turned my frown upside down.

It's ok. Mommy is just having a bad day. I love my mommy and she loves me!....I think...

I walked into my play room and started playing with my dolls until mommy came inside.

"Ok, Kyle look I'm going to the store to pick up your cake ok?" I smiled brightly and ran over there to hug her until she put her hand on my forehead, pushing me back so that I wouldn't touch her.

"But! You are going to stay here with your big brothers ok?" I thought about it and nodded. Me and my brothers never really spent time with each other so maybe this won't be as bad.

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I was playing with my dolls for what felt about 15 minutes before my two brothers came storming in my bedroom abruptly. I looked up to see them exchanging looks and giggles before looking back at me. I smiled yet I gave a confused look.

"What are you guys laughing about?"
I said while cocking my head to the side a little bit. Kahill had walked over to me and slumped down on my bed followed by a sigh. He looked at me and smiled.

"Hey birthday girl, I know we never got the chance to spend time together so how about we go outside and play a game?" My heart did 5 flips when I heard those words slid into my ears. I smiled wide at him and jumped off the bed.

"OUU YAY YAY YAY! What are we gonna play big brother?" I was so happy that my cheekbones started to hurt from me smiling ear to ear. They both looked at each other in silence and smiled to themselves.

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"AHHHHHHHH" Was the last thing that came out of my mouth before my whole body got dumped in the freezing pool. I tried to swim up but the pressure was too strong. I could feel my heart pumping out of my chest as I was afraid that I might drown and die. I tried swimming up to the surface with all I could but sooner or later I found the wall and started climbing up it since it's easy to climb a wall under water. I coughed and shivered but I could hear the faint laughter of my brothers.

Once I got out I was shivering horribly and my dress was ruined but I tried keeping a smile on my face even though I wanted to cry. But I'm glad my brothers are happy! And if they're happy...I'm happy...

"T-t-t-t-that was s-s-s-some fun g-g-game" I said shivering horribly. I stood there with my eyes squinted because of the cold water dripping from my hair.

"Yeah...wanna go again?" Kahill said.

"N-n-n-n-no thank you..I think I wanna go back inside now I'm cold" once I started walking in the house kahill kicked my feet from under me with so much force that I hit my chin on the concrete. I cried out very hard from the scolding pain. Kyrie and Kahill laughed.

I then felt myself being picked up high in the air.

"READY! SET! GO!" Kahill yelled before he threw me up in the air right above the pool. I tried reaching out my hands in the sky as if I was reaching for god.

"NOOO MOMMYYY" were the last words I said before everything went black.

Present time

I looked in the mirror and fixed my hair as I checked out my long sleeved black dress to make sure everything was perfect it was just like Cardi B's dress. I seen michael come out the bathroom with a sharp black suit on. He had his black aviators on while he fixed his diamond watch. I smiled to myself at how fine he looked but it soon faded away when the memories started flooding in again like a tight tsunami.

Michael then came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He hummed against my neck and kissed on it. I held the back of his head and closed my eyes, letting him soothe me with his love. I only felt safe with my papa and Michael but my other family just seems like some type of false party.

"Are you ok baby? You've been kind of out of it today" I swallowed all my sorrow and looked back at him with a light smile.

"I'm fine hun, ok? Just some stuff on my mind but yknow some people just have those days" He furrowed his eyes and leaned on the wall that was by the door with his arms crossed.

"What's been on your mind? Obviously it has you held down tight" I thought about it for a moment.

"You ever have those thoughts that flood your mind at any time to ruin your day? As in 'bad memories'?" His face dropped a little bit as if he understood clearly what I meant. He then looked down and shifted his arms
a little bit.

"Yeah...I know what you mean" He said as he looked the other way.

"Hurts doesn't it?" I asked him while biting the corner of my lip trying not to cry. He was silent for a second until he raised his eyebrows and nodded while looking dazed at the floor.

"Yeah it hurts. Hurts so bad I almost overdosed but you Kyle, I wouldn't be alive right now if you didn't make that phone call to me and stop what I was doing. And in THAT moment Kyle I knew my real purpose of why god gave me a second chance." He then walked over to me and grabbed my face with both of his hands and looked deep into my eyes as if it was the strongest universe you would ever see.

"He sent you to me Kyle...and he led you to me so that I could be with my guardian Angel...the love of my life.." He suddenly pressed his lips against mines sending a strike of love through my heart. Tears escaped my eyes as I kissed him back, letting all the pain and sorrow flow out of my body and out of existence. Once we pulled away I sniffles and smiled.

"I love you so fucking much, jackson" Michael smiled and kissed my cheek.

"I love you too, Mrs. Jackson" He wiped my tears and took my hand in his. I quickly grabbed my black clutch off of the dresser and walked out the room behind michael.

Sorry I took so long school been kicking my butt😭

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