the road not taken | h.hj & l.fl

August 28, 1985

a/n: this is an epistolary fanfic that is inspired by 5 cm per second

August 28, 1985

There is this tree that I saw as I walked from the park that reminded me of you. I don't know why but somehow, the way it stands right there, under the sun, just dancing around reminds me of the way you jumped to me when you saw a bug under the leaf you are holding. I hated you then.

I hated your overalls, the denim one, your bright red shoes that made you look like a mascot in town, your soft black hair that got stuck on your forehead because of all your sweat, your lollipop sticks that you won't even share, not even with Jisung, and your smile. I don't know. I hated your smile so much that Chan-hyung even laughed at me for crying because you smiled at me.

As I walked back home, I looked around if there were still things that reminded me of you. I checked the seesaw that we used to banter over with because I liked the left side one better (which I still do by the way) and you kept on telling me that you liked that more than I do just because you were taller than me like it mattered.

There wasn't anything specific that reminded me of you aside from that tree, so what I did was to sit in front of that and watch the birds lay a nest on its branches. I carefully looked at them, though my eyes hurt from the sunlight and my skin kind of burned, and thought of you. Just you.

Your birthday has passed. You're now a 10 year old Hwang Hyunjin who dances like no one was watching, hops like you were one with the air, and smiles like nothing was ever breaking. You're now a 10 year old Hwang Hyunjin that lives in the town, miles away from me, with lots of friends (I know you do. Everyone would love to befriend you), and probably is now drinking cola.

My mom told me that cola is bad for my health. She said that it would cause air bubbles to be stuck in my tummy and that someday, all I'd ever do is just feel that in my tummy, and watch it enlarge. My school didn't teach me anything about it yet, and all that I know for now is how annoying decimal places are in numbers. Why do we even have to make things so complicated?

So please, stop drinking cola. Drink juice instead! Wasn't orange juice your favorite? Or do you have new favorites now that you're living in that place for two months? Was the grocery store bigger? Do they have cartons of milk there unlike the one we see here? What about your school? What does your uniform look like? I'm pretty sure that the weather there is nice. Not too cold and not too warm.

Before I forget, I just want to say I miss you Hyunjin. I still hate your smile but I miss it too, strangely. My mom watched me write this and told me to send you her regards! Wish we can meet soon!

Regards,

Felix