Mistakes and Promises

Chapter Five

I just lost my best friend which was Aaron... And then some or almost all of our friends, too.

But as years passed by I realized that I also became fine with just Ava as my only friend that I trusted after all. I think it's really the quality over quantity.

***

"Were you crying?" My brother asked me as soon as pinagbuksan ko siya ng pinto ng kwarto ko nang katukin niya ako.

"What is it?"

His forehead creased. He's wearing his school uniform and he's now a high school student. "I thought you're done crying years ago..."

Months up to a year or years even after Aaron left palagi pa rin akong umiiyak because I was missing him terribly and I regret so much what I did which I know the reason why he left. My family, my parents and my brother saw that kahit ayaw ko naman talaga sanang ipakita pa sa kanila. Pero halata pa rin iyon sa halos araw-araw na ayos ko simula noong umalis si Aaron.

"Or," he sighed like he's older than his age now. "Is it because Kuya Aaron has returned?"

Sandali akong natigilan habang nasa harap ko ang kapatid ko. And then I sighed. "What is it, Lance?"

He sighed a heavy one. "Tawag ka ni mommy sa baba. Kain ka na raw ng breakfast mo."

I just nodded and closed my door after my brother left.

Pero kinagabihan nasa loob ng kwarto ko na talaga ang makulit na si Lance. I sighed loudly for my brother. "What is it, Lance? May homework ka ba at magpapatulong ka sa 'kin? Where's your tutor? Dahil may mga kailangan din akong gawin ngayon for med school." I explained it to him that I'm busy, too. Baka kasi manggugulo lang ang makulit na 'to.

I remember when I was young I prayed for a little sibling. Lalo at medyo matagal din akong nasundan. And I was happy when Lance came to our family. Pero lumaki rin siyang makulit at matigas pa ang ulo minsan. And he also likes annoying me. Maybe it's also the age difference or our gap I don't know. Or maybe natural lang din kasi bata pa siya.

"What tutor?" His forehead really creased. "I don't do tutor anymore. You forgot, ate?"

Oh. Oo nga pala... Parang hindi ko na kasi namalayan ang panahon. Dati kasi may tutor siya. My brother's not weak in his academics pero may tutor lang din siya noong mas bata siya para may tumulong sa kaniya like if he has homework kasi pareho rin busy sina mommy at daddy sa hospital. At nag-aaral din ako. Now I he can perfectly do his schoolwork alone.

"Oo nga pala..."

"Ate... What happened after the dinner? Doon ka natulog kanila Tita Eris, 'di ba?"

I nodded. After I slapped Aaron that morning ay mabilis na rin akong nagpaalam kanila Tita Eris at umalis sa bahay ng mga Ledesma.

"You and Kuya Aaron talked?"

Why was my brother a little too talkative like this? Hindi naman ganito si daddy, ah. Tahimik nga lang iyon kung hindi naman talaga kailangan magsalita. My dad was the quiet and mysterious type of a guy according to my mom.

"Why are you asking?"

"Why? Just answer. I'm just asking." He even shrugged his shoulders.

I sighed. Hindi rin ako nito titigilan. "We did..."

"And?"

Marahan akong umiling at nagbaba ng tingin.

"Tsk. Stop crying, Tristeen."

"Hey! Where's the 'ate'?!"

Lance shook his head like he's a grown-up. "What did he said? Ayaw na niya talaga? Then just move on! It's been years. It's tiring."

My eyes widened at my brother. "What? Ano ba'ng mga pinagsasabi mo..."

"I'm not a child anymore. Stop treating me like I'm still seven or five years old, ate. I know what happened. I know."

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ako sa kapatid ko o...

"You can't be like this forever. I know that you... love Kuya Aaron." Ngumiwi pa siya sa sinabi. "But if it's done... then... let go... It might not be easy but you are my sister." He showed me a brave face. "You are Tristeen Dela Cuesta. You are smart and pretty. You are strong. You deserve the best things." And then he shrugged his shoulders.

I didn't know where my brother got his words now and these thoughts. But it actually touched my heart. What my brother just said. I breathed and took him in my arms and hugged him kahit medyo nahirapan din ako dahil malaki na nga siya. "Ah. You're so sweet my little brother. Kaya mo naman pala! Bakit 'di ka nalang maging sweet sa akin palagi, ha. Kaysa inaasar mo pa ako 'pag trip mo."

"Stop hugging me!" He groaned. "I hope I'm the one who's older between us two so that I can punch and beat guys who tries to hurt you."

I feel like crying but right now because of my brother. I just hugged him more. Kahit nagrereklamo na siya.

***

"He's back?" Ava asked me as soon as she saw me.

Magkasama pa rin kaming dalawa sa med school after we graduated from college. Noong una ay sinabi niyang ayaw naman talaga niya sa course namin noon at nahihirapan din siya but her dad wants her to take after him who's also a doctor who already made a name for himself. Pero kalaunan ay nagustuhan na rin ni Ava ang medicine. She even said na anak nga raw talaga siya ng daddy niya like it was a confirmation and she had doubt at first. May kabaliwan din talaga minsan.

I nodded and just continued what I was doing for our anatomy class.

"Hmm. And what happened?"

I looked up to Ava. I shook my head. "Wala naman..." Halos wala na ako sa sarili sa ginagawa.

"Hmm. Nakita ko sa social media. May girlfriend na siya?"

I gulped and I nodded while my eyes remained down. I heard Ava sighing. "I already told you before, Teen. Mag-move on ka nalang. Wala na kayong communication simula noong umalis siya. And now he just returned and you knew that he's already with someone else. Now that you've confirmed it, isn't this the right time to just really let go already?"

Yumuko lang muli ako.

"Teen," Ava held both my shoulders and made me looked at her. "I'm just worried about you. Kahit hindi ka naman talaga nagsasabi, I know that you've been hurting for years now... Kaya... kung wala na talaga... Just let it go, please? Para rin naman sa 'yo. I missed the old Tristeen. Who's just fun and easy." Malungkot na ani Ava.

Maybe I really did change. Simula noong umalis si Aaron nagbago nga ako. I don't go to parties anymore. I became quiet and I only talk to my family and Ava. Nag-focus nalang ako sa pag-aaral ko.

I gave Ava a small smile. Despite everything that had happened to my life... The changes... The people, the friends I lost... I think I'm still blessed because I was left with the people who's real and true to me.