Embers To Flames ~ Book 2 ON HOLD

Chapter One: Feeling Lost

Today is July 9th. 2 years, 3 months, 4 days since I lost the love of my life. But I gained another love of my life. This would be my son Jasper. The son of my handsome mate.
2 years since I lost Xavier. It changes people.... I hunted for him for over a year, I still wish he'd come back but I've lost hope that he's even alive.... I havnt felt him since the day I lost him to Michael.... I go on a killing spree every year the day I lost him. I have grown less soft.
Funny thing in all that went down, I was still pregnant, I had forgotten about it in all the rage and fighting and war, but the amazing part was.. it survived.... Jasper... Survived. He's 1 year and 3 months now. Him, Caleb and Gabe my only jewls left. He smells a lot like his father and it sooths me when I hold him.
I wish I could be held again...
I started a journal in the loss of Xavier, I write everyday. I miss him. So much. I sleep in his shirts but they have lost his scent months ago, but I still feel him here.
I'm standing near the ledge, against the railing of the balcony in Xavier's and my room when I hear tiny foot steps coming closer. I turn around to see my baby Jasper running at me yelling, "Muuuumy" I catch my little spit fire when he nearly barrels into my legs, I tickles his little body as he giggles like a mad man. I couldn't help but laugh, "Hi buddy, What you doing," he giggles as I tickle him more,"pway wiff Gabe," I smiled at his little man talk. I began to rock him in my arms when he yawns, and his eyes begin to droop slightly.
I walk into the bedroom and lay him in my bed as he cuddles the blankets. I slightly jump when I hear a small voice, "Mom.." I turn around to see my other jewl Caleb, "Hi baby, what's up?" Caleb is now 11, and he's doing so good in school, "Can Chance come over tomorrow?" I nod my head and he takes off down the hall.
I crawl into bed and pull Jasper to me, he curls into my chest. I silently weep for my mate.