Angelic || suhyeok x cheongsan || aouad || ON HIATUS

Chapter 19 - water down the drain

"We're... dating."
They all froze. Su-hyeok had told Cheong-san's parents, and they'd heard, but Cheong-san didn't yet know. Su-hyeok wanted the walls to collapse around him, or, hell, onto him.
"Cheong-san!" Mr Lee shouted after a while.
Cheong-san walked out his bedroom, immediately met by the confusion, or anger, on his parents' faces, and the fear on Su-hyeok's.
"What's wrong?"
"Are you... gay?"
The harshness of the word sent Cheong-san spluttering.
"I– w-what?"
"You heard me."
His mother was perfectly stoic, arms folded on the table, face revealing nothing.

CHEONG-SAN

Oh shit. An hour ago, I felt like nothing could prevent my happiness, but now everything was falling around me. My parents were staring at me, probably praying that I would say no. Su-hyeok had his eyes tightly shut, clearly trying to hold back tears, blood staining his hands. All I wanted to do was run to him, bandage him, make everything better, but I couldn't with my parents eyes following my every movement, expecting an answer. Fuck it.
"Yeah. I am. Gay, I mean. And Su-hyeok is my boyfriend."
Su-hyeok looked up at me, smiling just enough for me to notice. I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. I couldn't tell what my parents were thinking, except for some vague confusion. I helped Su-hyeok to stand and we headed straight for the bathroom – the only room with a lock on the door, and access to bandages.

I rummaged through the cabinet and there they were.
"Hands," I demanded.
"They're okay, really. You don't need to."
His defences were useless.
"Hands," I repeated.
He reluctantly held them out. The cuts were only small, and the blood was minimal. I rinsed them as gently as I could but Su-hyeok still winced slightly, obviously trying to hide it. I patted them dry with a towel then began to bandage them, remembering something On-jo had told me about how her dad once had to stop someone bleeding out, because the ambulance wouldn't make it in time. Su-hyeok's situation was a lot less dramatic, but I recalled how she described the way to tie the bandages around the injury. I stepped back, admiring my work. I was much prouder than I should have been.

SU-HYEOK

Cheong-san planted a tender kiss on my forehead, causing a smile to seep through my entire face. Everything he did was perfect and everything I did was a disaster. Except, maybe, confessing how I really felt about him, but I supposed even that had become a catastrophe. We'd left his parents in a stunned silence, managing to corner ourselves in the one room without a window. That was also my fault, as I assumed the bathroom was the only room with bandages, and if I hadn't dug my nails into my hands to stop myself from crying, then we wouldn't need bandages.

I could have screamed when thinking how foolish I was.
I sat down on the closed toilet, sinking my head into my hands.
If I only...
If I just...
If I hadn't...
"Fuck," I slapped my head continuously until someone grabbed my wrist.
"Don't. Angel..." Cheong-san grip fell, "We'll be okay. We always are."
"What if always just ran out?"
Shit. My subconscious was becoming my conscious – an uncontrollable force that would be almost impossible to stop now it had started to take over what I actually said.

Cheong-san said nothing. He buried my head into his chest, stroking my back. It suppressed the urge to scream that we were never meant to be, that so much shit had already happened, which surely must be some sort of sign, and that our deepest conversations always seemed to happen in bathrooms, which weren't known for the cleanliness, meaning that someone, something, somewhere, had to think we were unclean and disgusting and everything wrong with the world was down to us.

Down to me.

His touch was comforting, slowing down my breathing that I hadn't realised had sped up.
"You don't really think that always can run out, do you?"
I nodded into his chest, "Look at it all. It's like the entire universe is against us, and finally they found the way to beat us."
"Su-hyeok," he lifted my head by my chin, "I'll admit that telling my parents could've gone better, but it will be okay, I promise you."
"How? How can it be okay?" I was close to shouting.
"Because it's us," Cheong-san's voice stayed level, almost soothing.
He dropped his arms from my back and held out his hand. I took it, curling my fingers around his. He was cautious to avoid touching the bandages.
"I'll show you that it'll be okay."
He unlocked and opened the bathroom door.
Oh fuck, fuck I was panicking. An overwhelming sense of dread took over, my fight or flight was screaming to run, I wasn't sure I could do what we were about to do. I clutched Cheong-san's hand with more pressure but he didn't listen. He was so stubborn, supposedly just for the point of being stubborn. Although I usually admired his determination, it had recently been landing both of us in shit.

CHEONG-SAN

I hauled Su-hyeok into the living room, where my parents were huddled over their laptop. Confidence was both a gift and a curse, it seemed.
"Mom. Dad."
They shot up and all my confidence vanished.
"Cheong-san," my dad started, "Su-hyeok."
My mom took over, clearly annoyed with how hesitant my dad was being, "You could have told us earlier. We don't mind it– your relationship that is. I'm just not sure if it's best for you to share a bedroom. Su-hyeok, we can book you into a hotel until you find somewhere more permanent, and you can always visit."
"Thank you, Mrs Lee."
"No."
Su-hyeok and I spoke together. He glanced nervously at me.

"You always say we're tight for money, so any hotel you send him to isn't going to be very good, and he won't be safe. Mom, please. We'll keep my bedroom door wide open at all times so you can see what we're doing. Please... You can see how my grades are improving thanks to Su-hyeok. He makes me so happy, and you're trying to take that away from me?"
My voice wavered, the first hint that I was going to cry. Fuck.
"Cheong-san, it wouldn't matter if you had a girlfriend that would be sharing your room. We still wouldn't allow it," my dad stepped closer.
"It's okay, I can go. You don't need to book a hotel or anything like that," Su-hyeok shrugged and smiled.
"What?" my parents and I spoke at once.
"I can go. Somewhere."
"You can sleep on the sofa! Or in my bed and I'll take the sofa!" I exclaimed with the best idea I'd had for a while.
"That would only be a temporary solution, Cheong-san," my mom was speaking to me as if I was a child, which was really starting to piss me off.
"I don't care. He's not – Su-hyeok, you're not going on the streets, or hiding in school, or anything like that, okay?"
He looked down at his feet and mumbled something.
"What?"
"I don't want to be a burden," his voice wasn't much louder, but it was audible.
He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. I felt the need to hug him. I did so.
My parents spoke in hushed tones to one another, and finally stepped apart.
"Fine," my mom looked to the ceiling, "Su-hyeok, you can stay on the sofa. We can try and find somewhere nice for you later."
"Really? Mrs Lee, thank you so much," he bowed, a blush forming on his cheeks.
"I told you that things will be okay," I whispered and grinned.