As a Wanderer in This World, All I Need is You

VI: Two Lights in the Dark

Tian Ya Ke Week 2022 - Day 6
~ Prompt: Horror, Understanding

cw // slightly gore description

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Zhou Zishu had long been walking in the darkness.

He remembered that many, many years ago, he used to walk in the light, just like everybody else. But when his Master passed away, the first shade of darkness fell upon him.

A young and inexperienced sect leader, how could he protect the many disciples following behind him? How could he fulfill the expectations of the brothers looking up at him? For the first time in his life, Zhou Zishu struggled but even his hardest effort seemed to bear no fruit. But, his youthful heart was arrogant and naive. Young and ambitious, he believed that he was meant to achieve great things.

Thus, he headed for the palace, swearing allegiance to the then Crown Prince to be the man's eyes and ears and his hidden blade, not knowing that from that moment onwards he was plunging himself into the depth of an abyss, never to be touched by the light again.

Zhou Zishu had long been walking in the darkness.

With every step he took, blood stained his hands and sword. The longer he walked, echoes of wails and curses grew louder in his ears, enveloping his very being. Corpses laid strewn at his feet, following him wherever he went. Men and women, young and old; fresh blood were still spilling from the gashes on their flesh, many of them did not die peacefully. White eyes stared at him wherever he walked, limbs and intestines were scattered from the ones who weren't allowed a final rest in one piece; some by his blades, some by his schemes. Even now, from their blood-dripping tongues, he could still hear their guttural voices condemning him.

He thought he had lost his heart. He thought he could render himself numb, sparing no attention to the lives he'd ripped apart from their corporal bodies, be it criminals or the innocents. Despite the mountain of corpses growing higher and higher in his wake, despite the howls of anguish deploring his existence, he decided to continue onward.

Until at one point, among the countless screams and weeps, there was one voice piercing directly to the deepest part of his heart.

"Shixiong, can your heart bear this?"

Zhou Zishu came to a halt. For the first time, he realized that his entire person had been painted in red, warm blood trickling from his face, his hair, his hands, his blade. For the first time, he realized that he was no longer human. He was worse than a soul reaper; he was a beast parading in human skin. The sins he carried on his back couldn't be washed clean even if he were to jump into the Yellow River. For the first time, he finally realized that the way back to light had been sealed off for him.

He was irredeemable.

So Zhou Zishu closed his eyes and sheathed his sword. He shed his clothes, he changed his face. He put seven nails into his flesh, a mark of his sins. He cut his own life short. Just like this, he would spend the few remaining years of his life as a nameless wanderer. No one would know who he was, no one would care who he was. Only he himself knew of the sins he'd committed, and by the time he could no longer go on, no one would spare a glance even if he were to die by the side of a street like a sewer rat.

Was it not a befitting end for someone like him?

And yet in this endless darkness where he had no one but himself, all of a sudden his path crossed with someone.

This person was also drenched in blood. Behind him were trails and trails of blood and corpses, none of them were intact. Some were stabbed, some were burnt, some were skinned, some were ripped apart to the point that even their own mother would not be able to recognize them. This person told him that he hated the world, and he wished for nothing but to drag those who had wronged him to annihilation, falling together with him to the pit of hell.

But he also told Zhou Zishu that, now that they had met, for the first time in his life, he wanted to live. For the first time in his life, he saw a glimmer of light in this pitch black abyss, and he wanted to reach out for it.

He said Zhou Zishu was the one who brought him light.

Who would believe the words of a stranger they had just met for the first time? Time and again, Zhou Zishu tried to ignore him. He continued moving on ahead, threading his lone path in the darkness until the day his life was exhausted. But no matter what he did, this person insisted on following him. He coaxed him, teased him, flirted with him; the sweetness of his words were a stark contrast with the blood trickling down from his hands and the corpses scattered in his steps. Zhou Zishu thought this man must be mad.

But as time went on, he saw sincerity behind the honeyed words dripping from this man's lips. This person cherished him truly, cared for him, loved him, and grieved for him upon knowing that his life wouldn't last long. He asked Zhou Zishu if he could live, if he could not leave him alone in this pitch black darkness where only the two of them existed.

Before he knew it, Zhou Zishu realized that just as this person said he brought him light, this person, too, had become his light.

The sins of the past could not be cleaned. The crimes he'd committed, the betrayals he made, the misery and disappointment he'd caused to those around him could not be reversed, and the lives lost could not be brought back.

However, even if he was destined to spend the rest of his life confined in this darkness, at the very least, he had someone by his side, who would walk with him and hold his hand—with whom together, they would be each other's light until they both grew wrinkles and white hair.

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