Timeless hope

Chapter 39/ down

I've been in bed for 3 days now waiting on life to move on and my grams to call back. Hayes hasn't came once to see how I was doing. I feel like are whole relationship was fake, all are kisses and hugs and moment together we're fake. Matthew tells me Hayes is in way worst condition. I got out of bed to go down stairs to eat and watch t.v but I come right back up once I feel all the pain come back and it doesn't take to long. Matthew says Hayes doesn't even get out of bed he just lays in bed and Cries he said he doesn't go down stairs or eat. I mean I eat but we're both bad at the moment. Yes we're in the same house but I don't see him when I go down stairs and I don't plan on it either. At the moment Matthew is the only one helping me. Calum,Luke,Ashton and Michael have called or came over to see if I'm okay. Maybe I should just get used to that. Hazel texted me last night said she's gonna come visit with one of her friends back from Australia. It's gonna almost be a year since we've been friends. I miss her a lot maybe she'll help me pass over this horrible relationship that I need to let go of. I decided to get up and shower. I set out some sweat shirt from Victoria Secret and some sweat pants from there too and hopped in the shower. When I got out I put on my laced bra from pink and than the sweat shirt and sweat pants and walked out the restroom grabbing my makeup and putting some on. I walked back out grabbing my white converse and heading to grab my phone and black bag that I always use from forever 21. I walked down stairs and everyone looked surprised. I went into the kitchen I grabbed Kians keys and yelled I was taking his car. Nash pulled me back before I could open the door.

"What do you want" I said with an audited not wanting to talk to him. I know he didn't do anything but still.

"Just wanna say Hayes is trying his hardest to talk to you and tell you he's sorry but he's lost himself and he's lost without you" he said

"I'm leaving can we talk later" I said opening the door and getting into the car I saw him stand there in the door frame and I opened up the garage and backed out and left.

I was planning on going shopping I stopped real fast to see how much money I have. I have 70.56$. I needed to go to the bank and grab some more money out maybe 200$ or 300$ I went with 300$. I needed a job my grams send in 100 every 3 months but I never use it people usually pay for me which I need that to stop bc I can't get used to that. I drove to the mall which was 30 minutes away. I got out and went inside I walked around and found H&M I bought night heels and a headband. I walked out going into paceson, I bought some joggers and a tank top there. I walked around and than went to the food court and got some chick-fa-la, than headed back upstairs going to shop some more. I went into Pink and bought a red and white laced bra, I also bought 3 pairs of underwear and it came out to 168.76$ I was so mad it was much money but I was left with just like 200$ so I had to use my money wisely. I went downstairs walking into forever 21. I bought 3 tank top and boots than bought some sweats and a hoodie. I walked around a bit more in the store and bought a new black bag and 3 headbands. I went to check out and the totally was 134.22$ I had just enough which left me with about 60 to 80$ idk but I had a lot of bags with me and I needed to get home I've been out for 4 hours. On my drive home I stopped by Starbucks and got a regular tall coffee. Now I'm on my way home I kinda got a long drive and the coffee helped. As I drove home I saw Calum walking along the street with a girl I kept driving I was gonna stop by but I thought about it but I'll just go home and pack or something, or just lay down and not think about moving I can't Imagine leaving all my friends I have to rethink everything. I'm gonna leave my boys and the o2L boys and my Magcon boys and it's all so complicated.
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I made it home getting my bags and walking inside. I saw Hayes sitting on the couch and he got up and helped me with the bags and brought them to my room.

"July can we talk please" he said

"What is it Hayes" I said without crying bc at the moment that's what I wanted to do and shopping got him off my mind.

"I want you back. Cassidi made the move on me I swear and that's why she smiled and laughed when you ran out the room, please forgive me baby girl I want you I know you think I messed up which I did bc I didn't make her back up" he said with tears streaming down his face.

I ran up to him and he caught me holding my ass, so he wouldn't drop me. I hugged him tight enough and let go.

"Hayes I want to have a future with you but I think you deserve someone better, I love you a lot I wouldn't want anything else but you, but I know you deserve someone better than me" I said with tears pouring down my face. It was so hard to tell him this but I had to.

"But july you're all I want I don't want anyone else and if I did I wouldn't be with you but I want you and only you, please don't leave me" he said

"Hayes this is already hard for me to say can we just let us be over" I said crying my heart out

"Don't let what we have go I need you. You keep me going everyday and I don't want that to change. Please!" He said yelling and crying. I couldn't help but go over to him and kiss him.

I kissed him and kissed him. He let go looking into my eyes and putting my hair around my ear.

"Please don't let me go july" he said

"I'm sorry but I'm done" I said crying

He walked out the room running to his. (Guest room) I heard him crying and he was loud but he sounded so sad and seemed he wanted to give up as of me I wanted to let go of my life as well. I think this is goodbye for good.

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OMG MY FREAKIN GOD NOOOOO😩 I don't want her to die. There would be no story if she wasn't in it. Comment something letting me know what you think. And sorry the ending is depressing I'm going through it and I hate it I just want my friend back. Why does life get good and than fuck you over😔😪🔫😭