Somewhere In The Middle| BOOK #3 IN THE PSU SERIES

forty-eight

If he couldn't be mature, I would be mature enough for both of us.

And maybe deep down inside of me, I felt like I was being irrational for judging him for his inability to spit out his emotions. But he laughs with me, he wipes my tears, he smiles with me, and he even dances with me– he fucks me! But he can't tell me how he feels?

So when I consider all of that, no– I don't care about what I am doing or how it may affect him because for once I am putting myself first. I am sticking to the original plan, I am my person and if he ever wanted me again he would have to suck out all of the ocean water in his hometown with a fucking straw.

"Aunt Helen, you don't know why she wants to go on the field?" I turned to face Naomi as she pointed at the jersey. Grandma looked at my jersey before sighing, "How many times do we all have to hear to stay away from the quarterbacks until we do?"

Don't talk as if I wasn't here.

"Ellie, I really think you should come to the box with us." Finn urged me as Sloane just continued to stare at me. And for once, I wanted to literally scream at her.

"Don't you agree, Bologna?" Naomi nudged Sloane whose eyes hadn't left the number on the front of me. Sloane's eyes locked with Naomi's before looking back at me.

"Let her wear what she wants and let her do what she wants. I've been around her more than any of you this year– trust me, she'll be fine. She might get a little bit banged up, but she'll be fine." What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

"I'm wearing it because I wanted a jersey to wear. I'm going on that field because I want. If you don't like it– that's fine. I'll catch you guys later," I walked away from the group and I could feel their stares in the back of my body as I walked forward.

It's fine if they don't like it because you know what– I don't have to associate with you guys anymore. I was leaving. I was leaving and getting the hell out of Happy Valley.

"Miss–" I flashed my badge at the gate guard. I walked back into the 'opposing' team's side walking down the hallways to where I knew grandpa was. I knew this university like the back of my hand.

I mean, you too would memorize your dreams if you could remember them.

I knocked on the locker room office door, I heard the chair on wheels roll as the door was opened. Grandpa took a step back, viewing what I was wearing before sighing. "Let's go," I smiled at him.

"You going to let me call a play today?" I teased. He side-eyed me, chuckling. "If I could keep you away from everyone on that damn team I would. But I have a strong feeling I can't control who you would like to be around," He muttered walking to a cabinet.

He grabbed a clipboard, a whistle, a headset, a walkie-talkie, and he grabbed the whole four seasons to walk onto the field. And once we walked onto the field, there was a mixture of screams and boos.

Cameras were shoved in our faces as I kept my head down.

Okay, I didn't want the entire world's attention, I just wanted his.

A whistling was heard before grandpa wrapped his arm around me. "Well, if we suck today, I know you'll definitely distract every single boy on the Ohio State team." I laughed as he unwrapped his arm from around mine.

We approached a huge group of linemen from Penn State as they parted ways to let us walkthrough. However, when the pathway opened, I didn't expect to see him standing there staring at me.

Hell, I mean they all were.

Matti, Griffin, and Blake.

Blake– wait, Blake!