Even After You Die

SEVEN

"Well, I mean, what I would like to say is..." he trails off, quickly running a hand through his fluffy black hair and folding his arms awkwardly over his chest. "...is that if you would like to say things—sweet things—like that, it's uh, kinda cute, and I... you know. Wouldn't mind it."

I'm shocked. His face, normally a pale complexion, is as red as a sunburnt native to the bayou coming back from a gater hunt. This is the first time I've seen him so frustrated or embarrassed, and it's adorable.

"Anything you say, Oppa*." I use my most high-pitched, feminine voice and wink.

He grunts. "You disgust me."

I burst out laughing, hand on my knee as I balance myself from falling over. But most importantly, to keep my ice cream upright and not toppling onto the bridge. It feels so good to laugh like this, even with him glaring like that at me as I do so. I'm still mad at him though, for disappearing like that and not contacting in any way. But I'm not going to let my anger hinder me from having a bit of fun. This is, after all, the most time we've ever spent together like this.

"You know, you're one to laugh when you literally have green ice cream smeared all over your face." He crosses his arms even tighter.

"I'm sorry." I try to stop. "I just can't help it. Where is it?"

I lick my thumb and wipe my lips and chin but nothing comes off. Raising my brow, I throw him a look that I know he's lying.

"Here." His voice is suddenly low again. "Let me help you."

Haneul takes a step forward, squaring up with me. With one hand, he grabs my waist and pulls me flesh with his torso, and the other he slips behind my neck, fingers weaving into my hair. The lids of his eyes hover between closed and slightly open as leans down, the scent of him the strongest it's ever been. His heartbeat is just as loud as mine but instead of pushing him away with my free hand, I cling onto his arm as if I were hanging over a cliff.

The tip of his tongue glazes over the edge of his lips as he presses his thumb against the side of my cheek, wiping away the dot of ice cream. His eyes linger on my face, trailing down from my cheek to my mouth. My breath hitches and I curl my fingers tighter around his arm. Is he about—

And just like the tide, he pulls away too soon. His hand drops to the other side of my waist, steadying me before I even knew myself I was swaying. Parts of my body throb violently as if reminding me desire and attraction are normal emotions to feel.

Haneul is a champion at keeping his emotions from showing on his face, but now his cheeks are covered in a school boy's blush. His hands retreat from my waist and he takes a step back, inviting a chilly night breeze to come in between us. He clears his throat and scratches the back of his head just as I shiver with goosebumps.

We continue to walk in unison and I finally finish my ice cream, throwing the trash in a nearby garbage bin. Even though our worlds are so chaotic right now, for the first time in a long time, I feel peace, and I know Haneul senses it too. I find it strange though. Our almost-kiss should've invited even more awkwardness and tension to our relationship, but the only thing I find myself feeling is wishing that we had actually kissed. Okay, I need to stop. Yes, we're married, but we both agreed that we wouldn't get involved in physical intimacy because of the reasons why we got together in the first place. Besides, my number one objective right now is making sure that he's safe and still alive in three months.

We sit down together on a bench, sitting close enough to each other to make it appear that we actually are a married couple after all.

"Haneul?"

"Hmm."

"Before I forget, what does maechunbu mean?"

He coughs. "Where did you hear that? Did someone say that to you? I swear I'm gonna kill whoever's ass said—"