A Bottle of Hairdye

Chapter Five - Home, Sweet Home

Julian sprinted off to his spot as well, letting other dancers along the way know which song we were doing.

Ignoring the ache in my body, and the screaming protests my legs were sending me, I put on a poker face and went with the music.

The thing about singing is that it can be the biggest stress in the world, or the most helpful stress reliever. Some days my throat burned, and my lungs heaved, but others it was pure bliss.

All the emotions I kept inside during the day poured right out of my open mouth in the form of notes. All the annoyance and anger I couldn’t show I had for those paparazzi, who took privacy as a suggestion. All of the loneliness I felt each time I had to Skype my mother just to see her face. The excitement of hearing the screaming fans. The pride I held in myself for making it this far.

All of it at once. That’s what made me a performer.

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“Are you not going to freeze?” His voice asked, the same one I was praying to evade. After rehearsal, Sophie gave me my planned outfit for ‘leaving practice’ so the media who were waiting outside could catch a glimpse of the celebrity entity.

My black jeggings were fine, but it was the light shoulder less cardigan and tank top that was catching everyone eye. During October in Ottawa, this was no fun. Everyone else was zipping up thicker jackets, and shoving their hands into gloves.

“Not at all” I smiled with clenched teeth, silently wondering if I were to get frostbite on my shoulders, would my entire arms fall off. I was completely jealous of Nolan, who had his scarf tied warmly around his neck, looking contently toasty. Even Sophie, who was waiting at the door, was bundled up.

“Celebrities” He scoffed quietly.

Don’t say anything, Christina, he’s not worth it.

But in reality, I completely understood him. If I were in his shoes looking at me, I would call for the men in white coats to take me away to the loony bin. I was questioning my own sanity for going along with this.

“Let’s just go” I groaned, crossing my arms in a vain attempted to retain heat.

I could hear him grumbled something; it was too low for me to hear. For some reason, it irritated me to not know, but it was another insult and I knew it.

The burst of bitter wind hit me hard, basically freezing the very air in my lungs. I was never one for the cold. Sure I grew up with it, but I remember I would pile layers on and carry around hot chocolate everywhere I went during the winter season.

Right on cue, flashing went off and mics were shoved in my face. Quickly, I pulled out my sunglasses I carried for such cases.

Questions were thrown at me, all eager to get the latest gossip. Just once, I would like to hear one of them ask me how my day was.

Sophie was pushing through the mass of people, trailing behind one of my bodyguards. I followed in step with her, keeping my head down. I tried to hold back my laugh as Nolan stumbled beside me, blind sided by the sudden bursts of light.

Newbie

“Tip number one, sunglasses are essential” I leaned toward him, trying to speak over the noise.

“Now you tell me” He answered back, holding a hand up to block out the lights, and squinting through it.

Was it bad that I was highly enjoying his discomfort? Is that cynical?

Hell yes

We pushed into the waiting car, sliding along the leather seats to make room from everyone. I stealthily climbed over Sophie in the blink of an eye, putting distance between Nolan and I. I knew I was acting like a child, but I didn’t care too much.

“I’m moving you to a hotel for the night, Christina” Sophie deadpanned, turning her gaze on me for a moment, before returning it to her blackberry.

“What?” I nearly screeched. My stormy eyes flew wide, and my jaw slacked.

“I don’t think I need to repeat myself” She rolled her eyes.

“Why aren’t I staying at home?” I demanded. It was my last night to spend with my mother, and I had planned on making it count.

The strict woman laid her phone in her lap, directly looking at me, “You need a full nights rest and a quiet undisturbed sleep”

My lips floundered trying to speak, but I was taken aback. I was getting used to having my home back for a week, that I didn’t even think about what it would be like when it was ripped from me again. It hurt. Every time I get used to something nice, it’s taken in the end.

“Ok” I said weakly, my voice cracking.

I stared down at my hands, picking at my nails to occupy my mind. No one else in the care said a word to cut through the tense air.

Soon the luxurious hotel came into view and I stared glumly at it. It was big, it was grand, and it wasn’t home.

All of my things were already packed up in a suitcase that Sophie tugged out from the trunk.

My poor bottom lip was being abused as I chewed down on it in order to keep the tears back. Dramatic or not, I could seem to keep the salty devils from biting at the back of my eyes.

I just needed to hold them in until I got to my room.

Stepping through the double door of the hotel, I silently followed behind Sophie and Nolan. She was heaving her phone in his face, talking rapidly about something he needed to get done before tomorrow, and he soaked it up like a sponge.

The bright halls soon ended, and I walked into the room as instructed. Sophie’s was directly across, and Nolan’s was neighboring mine.

Nodding a mute goodnight to them, I wasted no time shutting the door. The moment the lock echoed, trails of mascara slid down, leaving inky marks. I made no noise. No loud sobbing, no frustrated screeches. Only letting them fall freely.

I was familiar with the unfamiliarity of hotels by now. Each was different, but each was identical. All full of tourists, business men and woman, vacationing teens, and arguing spouses. Each pristine and almost clinical in appearance.

“Home, sweet home” My tired, fickle, whispered voice echoing off the walls was the only reply I would get.

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