Fire and Smoke - Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Chapter 86

There's always one thing I can count on when I can't count on anything. That's my body. If I can make my body work, move and sweat, I can convince myself that I have moved forward, through my issues. I don't think I'm running away so much as running through. I can't lie there on that couch any longer. I need to run through my issues. And so that's what I do. For nearly two hours, I just let my feet guide me anywhere they please. It's dark outside, but my eyes adjust. That's all I ever do. Adjust. Adjust to the world around me. Adjust to the people around me. When I run, though, I have no need to adjust. It's just my brain and my body and that's all I need to push through.

My lungs burn from the cold air but at least my brain doesn't hurt. And before I know it, I've made it back to the cabin. Instantly, I begin to feel those negative feelings begin to seep through my newly cleansed body, but unless I want to run for another two hours while I wait for everyone to wake up, I have just got to get on with it. I quietly enter the cabin. The air inside is so stale, compared to the air outside. For a small, tiny, fraction of a second, I almost let myself hope that Wanda's somehow noticed my being gone and is waiting for me, but just as soon as that wish enters my mind I evict it. Her door is still shut.

I kick off my muddy boots and with my guard up, I quietly make my way to the small bathroom. I shut the door with a muffled click, locking it behind me. I begin by taking off my sweaty, cold clothes, leaving my naked in the nippy air surrounded by questionable looking bathroom tiles. I step into the old bathtub, the material underneath the soles of my feet cold, instantly icing through my legs and into the rest of my body. I turn on the water, watching the miserable little joke of a stream as I wait for the warm water. It always takes a couple of minutes. I hug myself, trying to stay warm. My eyes travel over the open drawers, seeing some of Wanda's things inside. I reach out and shut the drawer.

The shower finally begins to steam, so I step in. The water here is either antarctic or hot as though it is fresh out of hell. I prefer hell out of the two options. The water scalds my skin which turns red and tender under the heat, but my brain tells me I'm burning off all my anxieties, that the pain is in fact good pain. Healthy pain. It's almost unbearable, but I don't step out from under the stream.

What are you doing?

I'm filled with a warmth that spreads from inside of me, not matching the outside in intensity and I gasp slightly at hearing her concerned voice in my head, my heart picking up speed again. Wanda.

I didn't mean to wake you.

You didn't. She replies, even her thoughts have that soft lull of an accent behind them. she sounds tired.

Was I too loud? I formulate the words in my head, trying to shut down the fountain of confusing feelings within me so she won't sense them. I doubt she needs more confusion in her life right now.

Loud? You? Never. Wanda's slight amusement trickles through me and I grin sheepishly at the wall in front of me.

Sorry.

Don't apologize. Wanda's concern seeps through me again and I almost believe she remembers she used to tell me that. 'Not to me' are the words she would follow with. But of course, she doesn't. So I stay silent.

Why are you in pain? Wanda's words reverberate in my skull, her thoughts warm and soft and so inviting.

Shower. I let my thoughts out to her and I feel her in my skin, feeling the sensation of the scalding water.

Wait.

She goes quiet and I stay there, under the water, holding my breath, staring at the off-white tiles, waiting for her to find my thoughts again. I suddenly feel so alone in my body.