|| 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬, 𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯 & 𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑭𝑭𝑰𝑻𝑰 ||

19. A Step Forward

They called my Mum. I'm going to be suspended for two days for threatening a child who deserved it. It's ridiculous, really. Boys fight all the time at school. People would pick any small chance to be rid of me as soon as they can.

Mum doesn't say anything to me when she comes to pick me up, and we sit silently in the car as she drives back to the house. She still smells of alcohol, so I know she hasn't showered or anything.

It's only when she parks outside the house, and we unbuckle our seatbelts but don't move, that she lets out a sigh, and I know she is going to say something. She rests her head against the steering wheel. "Why did you do it?" She asks.

"Because he called you names?"

"You do realise who that is, don't you?"

"The son of the red head you screwed?"

"The son of Ben Adley who is our landlord." Mum corrects me bitterly.

Oh. I thought I'd seen him somewhere before. He'd come to check up on the house a couple of times. But now I want to throw up. "You slept with the landlord? And I'm getting told off for yelling at his son? I don't know, Mum but the former kinda seems worse?"

"Don't talk to me like that!"

"But I'm saying things how it is!" I sit up, facing her properly. "Why am I always dismissed for speaking the truth? It's not my fault you end up in bed with every man in this town!"

"Do you think I want this?!" Mum screams at me, taking me by surprise. "Do you think I wanted to sleep with our landlord? Is that how low you think I want to go, Valerie? Is it?"

My jaw clenches. She's never said anything like this before. She's always told me this was something she enjoyed, something that could help her escape."Then why?"

Mum lays her head back on the car seat, and begins to stifle sobs. I wait silently for her to respond. "Rent went up last month..." She covers her eyes with her hand. "Your Dad's not working as much these days. He spends most of his time at the pub messing about with the other men rather than actually doing his job there. I've started to get paid for what I do. Things are not as simple as you think, Valerie."

I snap my mouth shut, not sure what to say to that. Mum sobs a little more before continuing.

"Ben's liked me for years. He's said it to me multiple times. But I've always kept that boundary, you know? I can't sleep with the landlord, after all. But things are just getting difficult. He said he'd spare us if I did him a favour or two. He knows we are a struggling family."

"You're saying that like he's a good person," I say to her, quietly, "He's taking advantage of you."

Mum wipes the tears from her eyes. "Like I said, things aren't as simple as you think. I want you to stay out of my business from now on, Valerie. If someone says anything about me, stay silent. I don't want you to be affected by what I do."

"Well, too late." I open the door, and step out of the car in a huff.

"You know I still love you, right?" Mum calls from behind me, making me stiffen. "I do love you, Val."

I don't respond to that, and head down the road.

"Where are you going?" I hear her ask.

"To the library. I'm heading there then staying with a friend for the rest of the day."

"Fraya?"

"Someone else."

I can't hear whatever else she's said because I'm already too far down the street to listen.