Home. (L.N.)

36. Inked Skin

"Happy?" I look over to the driver. We speed down the highway in a very fast car on the overtake lane. The top is down and the wind is blowing my hair out of my face. Euphoria is dominating my body as we are on the way home to Monaco. Normally it should take us nearly 4 hours but with this black beast we are in, we should make it in 3. We had a beautiful morning in the spa of the hotel relaxing as my birthday gift after a long day yesterday we definitely needed it. Daniel confessed to me in my room we need to go home early because he is supposed to catch a flight tonight to London for the celebration of this phenomenal weekend at the McLaren Headquarters. I didn't mind driving home at all, its always a great reminder of the car drive with him the first time arriving in Monaco. To live here was truly an adventure that would have an massive impact on my life. My head rests against the seat as my hand surfing in the wind. "How couldn't I?" I grin at him. His dark brown eyes are hidden behind some sunglasses and the wind tugs his curls back. "I think I love him" I speak out for the first time to Daniel how I feel. A warm smile comes over his face. "Yes you do darlin" he gives me a knowing look. Saying it out is honestly a relief that at same time hurt so badly. It makes me so vulnerable. Giving all of me to him would be the only way to win him, but at the same time, if he rejects me, it would be the sharpest naciest and burning pain I could feel. And a little of that is flaming right now in my chest. Thinking back to last night it actually is less OK to my soul than I expected. I am not good with the fact he is also seeing someone other than me. Nevertheless if I would give him not the freedom he needs yesterday, who knows what he would've decided. Tired of these thoughts and conflicted signals of my brain, stomach and heart, I let my mind drift off to somewhere else. Somewhere were I am safe, healthy and mentally stable. The sun is shining and the world seems so peaceful. Today is a celebration of myself and my life, so I will try to enjoy it and not to think too much. I do that way too much anyway. My eyes wander back to Daniel, who is vibing to the beat of the music and then down to his thigh. It's a stunning masterpiece. "I want one" I speak up against the bars of Aitch. As soon as I took over the Bluetooth of the sportscar and mad basses filled the air I got a shocked look from my friend. "You good?" he asked as he grins. Dani didn't expect me to listen to Grime, in his head I would be the kind of girl that would go with the mainstream. The same expression is on his face now when he followed my eyes to his upper leg. "What?" he says and turns down the volume. My hand stops surving and wonders back to my lap. "I want a tattoo" The scenery flies by as none of us is saying a word for a while. My eyes lay on him as he tries to concentrate on the road. But slowly his beautiful smile grows back on his face. "No problem" we start to speed up even more as he presses down the speed paddle. This is surely more than the speed limit.

"Paul is the best artist here in Monaco. He did my astronaut." the Aussie points at his arm, while he holds the door open for me. It's a very dark shop with lots of weird decorations. On the survice is a huge fake spiderweb with clouds that spend fake light in frequently changing colors. I knew that Daniel like odd places and people but this here seems truly to be one of the kind. The air is filled with the smell of alcohol, smoke and old leather. The whole interior is basically black but the men behind the counter scrolling through his phone couldn't be in a much greater contrast. His hair shines white as flour which is styled in an elegent way as he was trapped in the wrong century. His suit is also white as well, so are the gloves and tie, not to forget his shoes. His eyes seem to be the only thing in his body that is not white as he lay his eyes on us his face lits up. He quickly swifts his mask back on before waving us closer. "Daniel my dear. Lovely to see you." I smirk at his greating towards my companion beside me. He seems more than delighted to see him again so unexpected. As his look glances over me his eyebrow jump into the air. "And who is she?" He checks me out from top to bottom. "This is my friend Anna. She would like to have a  tattoo." "Pleasure" I nod shyly. "Well well you are at the right spot here sweety." He walkes around the counter and gently places his hand on Daniels arm. "An you my darlin?" "Not for me today. It's her special day." "Wedding?" his eyes squeeze as trying to get a look at my ringfinger. "Birthday" I grin. A quick exchange of looks with the aussie ensure me that this is absolute normal behavior from Paul side. My body starts to relax and I start to find the humor in this. "Follow me then" the tattoo artist waves us to follow him to the part in the back of the shop. It's even darker here and the air is thick. There is a stool waiting for me which I take place on. I feel Daniel staying more in the background as he stops close to the entrance and leans against the wall. "What are you thinking of?" Paul grabbed a scetchnote and his glasses. He is on a rolling stool himself and musters every move in my face. "I would like to make it a memorial for my mother. Something to make sure I remember she always have my back." He nods with a soft smile around his eyes and starts scribbling on the paper. I follow the pen running over the paper creating the idea that my guts already have thought of. Would I have lost all my control over my body I would've stared at this little odd men in front of me. Maybe he is some sort of wizard who can read my mind. When he finally looks up from his scetch just a few minutes later all I can do is nod. "Perfect" "Get ready then my dear it can hurt. The back I would reckon?" "On the neck" I tell him the place for the tattoo. As he copies his outlines on my bare skin I turn my head to Daniel. His eyes lay calm on me and an encouraging smile grows under his mask. I reach out for his hand. "Stay still Anna." Paul muffles. "Daniel please" I urge him. The fear in me rises if this decision was too spontanus. With just a major step he stands before me and takes my hand. "This will be beautiful" he smiles down. The sound of the electric needle starts filling the air. "Ready?" I hear from behind me and I look up at Daniel. Somehow all I can think about is that I wish Lando would be the one here with me. Since yesterday I haven't heard from him, but right now there is something else I should worry about. My head sinks against Danis stomach as one hand is holding his and the other one my necklace. With a deep breath I nod. "Ready" and then sharp pain scratches on my skin in my neck. The needle paints the chosen motive on my body. While breathing through it I squeeze Daniel's hand tight. He doesn't say a word or camplains as he holds on to me while I concentrate on the rising and sinking of his stomach. And then all of the sudden its over, the sound and the sharp pain are gone as it never happened. "There we go" Paul wipes away one last time the excess ink and cleans the space before handing me a mirror. But the honey badger snatches it away and holds it in a great ankle so I see the tattoo.