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Remus hated how easily it could change. Like a switch, flipping on, flipping off. One day he was on top of the world and the next...
He felt like he could throw up his organs — among other things. He also felt dizzy, feverish, exhausted, angry. But the nausea was winning out at the moment. Remus was sure it would switch any minute.
But right now, he felt like he could throw up all of his organs.
The leather on James's couch had long since lost the cold that Remus faded into when it was the fever that took center stage. Now it just stuck to the sticky skin of Remus's face, but he couldn't move because if he did the acid in his stomach would burn the bottom of his throat and when he breathed in, he didn't know what would come back out.
So, he just lay still and let his skin stick to the lukewarm leather of James's couch.
"It's not your fault, mate," Sirius said.
Remus nodded, his face rubbing against the leather, and tried to swallow the anger like he swallowed the nausea because he had no reason to be angry. Except that he was ruining it again.
"We can stay in and watch films with you," Peter offered. He wiped his hands on his jeans and looked around to see if that was the right thing to say. Remus cleared his throat.
"No," he said. His voice sounded like scraping a rock against sandpaper. "It's still holiday. You should go."
Everyone sort of swayed in place — or maybe that was the dizziness, Remus wasn't sure. They all looked sideways, judging what they should do. Remus really just wanted them to leave. He hated being treated like roadkill.
"Don't worry," Sydney said. She crossed through the room like she had come from Muggle heaven. Remus suddenly felt much lighter, and he rolled onto his back and propped his head on the arm rest.
Sydney set a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and wiped her hands together. She glanced at Remus and then smiled brightly at the gallery watchers standing above him.
"Bitch baby here is in good hands," she said.
Remus sort of resented that this was what settled everyone's nerves. As if what Remus said about how he felt wasn't enough proof for them, they needed her to come in and tell them. As if he wasn't of sane enough mind to know how he fucking felt.
But then they started hugging Sydney and filing away. So, Remus exhaled some of that anger.
Sydney walked back and sat on the middle part of the couch, shifting the cushions. Remus rolled his head to the side to see her better. He picked up both of her hands in one of his.
"You should go, too," he said. Sydney laughed and pulled his hand to her lips.
"That's your full-moon-fever making you delusional," she said. Remus groaned and rolled away from her to his side, though she kept holding his hand.
