On The Run | Wakasa I. (Tokyo Revengers)

Chapter 58: Unwanted Promise

"I experienced a lot in the US without you guys beside me and you already know that. And also the reason why I came back." Her lips formed a thin line but finally continuing. "But Benkei was right. I had a different reason to come back here in Japan." After her talk with Benkei over the phone call, she had reflected on a lot of things and has even come to conclusion full of realisations. And that includes her reason for wanting to stay.

"It's because I wanted to be with you again... even if we're not lovers. Even when every moment I spent with you felt like me just simply lying to myself." She can feel her eyes starting to sting so she quickly blinked a few times, hoping to prevent her tears from falling. She's still hurt. After not receiving any response from him after her confession previously, she knew immediately it's all done for her.

Even when she saw it coming, it still pains her to think about it.

"I thought I moved on from you a long time ago... but it turns out I was a fool to believe such a lie that I, myself came up with." She bit her bottom lip, once again remembering the times Shinichiro helped her to get over Wakasa that only turned out to be of no use because of your strong her feelings have been for him.

Yet even though these feelings are what's causing her to hurt this way, still she found a reason to remain by his side. So, remembering all those times that she treasured, she said to herself again.

"But you know what?? I'm very thankful. Because of all the moments we spent together, a part of me felt important. You made me feel important. You made me feel all sorts of things that I'm more than grateful of." All the times Wakasa made an effort to make her feel better. The times he made her feel safe because he's around. It was no longer fun and games but he was still there, walking beside her in her own journey in life. "Coming back to Japan might've been one of the wrong decisions I made in life but because of you, I felt like I did the right thing all along."

"And with that I realized something." The surroundings grew quiet as if eager to hear the continuation of her words as well.

"I realized that I finally found that something that I've been searching for ever since I left."

"I found the home that I lost years ago."

After years, she finally realised why she felt so empty when she left Japan. The reason why she wasn't able to forget her feelings for the man. The reason why she had the strong urge to return.

Finally, she found it.

"It's not the country. It's not just a place where I used to live. It's not the place where we're staying right now which is a part of our childhood either." She once lost all of it, too—the places she mentioned. But to her, that something is more than just a place.

"People say home is a safe haven—a comfort zone." Her voice was quiet as she spoke softly. "And you made me feel both." Ever since they were young, it's because of him that she felt safe. Even at their first meet, he was already protecting her. Even when she couldn't see his efforts before until she witnessed it with her own eyes. Even though she's quite the troublemaker, she was assured that she'll be fine because Wakasa was always beside her. Even when some people doubted him, she knew she was safer with him.

"To me, that home is you."

Another long pause occurred while she took in a deep, deep breath to calm herself. She can feel her chest tightening and aching for a certain someone.

"Wakasa—no... Imaushi."

"In a very short period of time, you became the home I never wanted to leave." She smiled bitterly to herself. She knows all too well that she's hurting herself more by simply realizing this.

She finally found the home that she lost years ago but at what cost exactly? Soon, she'll be far away from him again. It's either she'll be taken away or leave on purpose. Staying couldn't be included in her options. Because it'll only cause him troubles... might even endanger his life. It's hard to admit but to leave him would've been better than losing him in a different way.

So he can only be the home she doesn't want to leave...

But still has to let go of.

"I—" Before she could continue her sentence, she immediately broke down to tears. She lowered the recorder as she covered her eyes with her other hand as if it's going to help stop her tears.

"I don't want to leave..." Her voice was faint and muffled due to her crying and the distance of the recorder from her. She can't help but cry again as sadness engulfed her, telling her she wouldn't be able to do what she wants.

It was as if she forgot that she's recording and is only imagining him to be in front of her, listening to her words intently.

She sobbed for a moment before she gathered her voice again.

If she's given the chance, she only has one thing in mind.

"If only I can stay with you forever."

"I will love you endlessly."

As the voice recording ended with the faded recording of her crying, sobs of a certain man filled the cold and dark room where the girl used to stay in his home.

A recorder and an undone shirt of a baby.

He has no idea what intention she had to make a baby shirt with his initials on it. To think that these were the only things of hers that's left in the box that survived the fire, it was enough to make his heart shatter into pieces, thinking he can no longer see her again. Just like before.

She had a lot of things left in his home but the box from the cabin was what hit him the most with a heartbreaking realization. He can never see her again.

Now that she's gone and out of reach, he can't help but think...

He'll be able to hate a promise made by the person he loves.

Because it might've been better if she didn't promise to leave him a message and fulfill it just like last time when she left with no word to him.

Then he wouldn't even have to deal with the painful feeling of not being able to return the girl's feelings in time.

__________
Author's Note:

THE END

Just kidding!

The message was supposed to be through a written letter but I guess it's too predictable so here's another predictable outcome bahahahah