The Girls Club [ON HOLD]

Chapter 2

I slide under the water and let it seep into my hair. My short afro allows the water to massage all spots on my skull. I emerge from the water when my lungs start to burn. "God I need you," I whisper feeling helpless "I have an amazing husband, beautiful children, a wonderful home, and an all-around full life. I lack for nothing..." I pause when I taste the lie in the last phrase. "That's not true though because I do lack something...I lack purpose, peace, drive, and excitement! I can't even remember the last time I had an orgasm!" I groan and slide back into the water ashamed at the confession.

That act alone freezes me in position as a bulb goes off in my mind. Why would I be ashamed of confessing such truth to myself let alone to God in prayer? My God already knows my thoughts. Do I think He would strike me dead because I simply spoke my thoughts out loud? I emerge from the water again, an action my lungs are quick to thank me for.

"Mum!" Sebastian bangs on the door rising me from my muse.

"What is it?"

"Isa's awake!" I barely hear him as his footsteps retreat down the hall.

I slowly lift myself out of the tub and grab a towel. Once dry and donned in a fresh pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt, I walk out of the room. Isabella's wails fill the hallway and I quicken my steps towards her room.

She's kicking her chubby feet and legs all over the place and I immediately reach in her crib to lift her.

"Good morning sweetheart." I coo as I place her on my chest. "Hungry are we?" I gently rub her back and I am contemplating on whether to get her a bottle or change her diaper first when the door opens behind me.

"Here," Sebastian says. "I warmed her a bottle." He hands me the lukewarm bottle and I receive it, my eyes not leaving his.

"What?" His left dimple deepens as it usually does whenever he clumps his lips together.

"I definitely did something right if my fifteen-year-old already knows how to warm a bottle and does it without being asked."

"Shut up!" He looks away. If his skin was several shades lighter, his cheeks would be turning pink right now.

"Thank you, baby" I test the liquid on my hand, and once satisfied, I slide it into Isabella's eager mouth. "Get me the diapers from the..." I set myself on the padded nursing chair in the corner of the room.

Sebastian is already pulling the chest of drawers open and one by one pulls out everything I would need. Diapers, fresh clothes, and socks.

A lump forms on my throat and I chastise myself for it. Control yourself! If he sees you crying he'll not do it next time.

"Daddy wants me to give you the Beatle," I say trying to find a safe topic for discussion.

"Eew!"

I burst out laughing and poor Isabella startles and spills all over herself at my abrupt laughter. "Oh, so sorry baby." I slide the plastic nipple back into her mouth and try to control my continuous laughter.

"Why can't he get me a car I can actually drive?"

"You'd have to ask him that tonight when he gets home. In the meantime, you can drive my new Hyundai."

"He got you a new car? But the Beatle isn't even a year old."

"Yeah, that's what I said.

"Okay, two questions. What are you going to do with the Beatle? And when can I take the Hyundai out for a spin?"

"We could trade in the Beatle for something you like, your father would have a coronary if he saw me in it again. You are allowed to only drive in the neighborhood until you get your license though, and you can take the Hyundai out for a spin today after school."