30,000 Feet

Bab 18

Late 2019 - Kondominium D'Indah, Subang Jaya

Catherine memberus rambutnya sederhana kasar. Bibirnya diketap erat. Terketar-ketar malahannya.

Kertas-kertas di hadapannya berselerak. Sakit mata dan hatinya memandangkan kertas-kertas itu. Satu-satu itu sudah dibelek dan ya, semakin dipandang, semakin meradang marahnya.

Ketika pintu rumahnya itu dikuak perlahan, dia menjeling dan apabila dia melihat lelaki yang masuk itu, sekali lagi kesabarannya teruji. Lelaki itu senyum kepadanya namun tak pula dia membalas.

"Adiwira, got a minute to spare?"

Lelaki itu sedikit kaget. "Why, Sayang?"

"Saja. It's been awhile since we have a conversation. A proper one."

"Sounds serious."

"For what we are going to talk about, hell yeah I want it to be serious."

Wira memandang Catherine dengan pandangan yang sememangnya menunjukkan dia sedang takut. Banyak perkara untuk dia takut dengan Catherine to the point dia tak dapat fikirkan waima satu daripadanya.

"Where are you from?" Catherine bertanya perlahan. Suaranya mendatar tetapi tegas.

"I told you right I keluar dengan Warna and his friends?"

"Really? Kalau I call Warna sekarang how?"

"Hey, Cate. Kenapa you tiba-tiba macam tak percayakan I ni? What's wrong with you?" Wira membawa langkahnya ke bilik.

"Adiwira!" Seruannya itu membuatkan langkah Wira terhenti. "Sit down."

"Cate, I'm tired. Don't start..."

"Fine, we can converse standing." Catherine berdiri memandang Wira. "Is this what you want?"

"Cate, c'mon. You nak apa?"

"I nak apa? Wo yau your penjelasan maa."

"What penjelasan? Apa benda yang you nak sangat tahu ni, Cate?"

Catherine memandang kekasih hatinya itu dengan pandangan yang dia sendiri tak sangka ayat seangkuh itu akan keluar dari mulut Wira.

"Okay, fine. Let's begin with the easiest one. Do you love me?"

"Okay, now is not the time, Cate."

"No, answer me that. I nak dengar."

"Yes, I love you. With all my heart, Catherine."

Catherine menyimpulkan bibirnya, tidak percaya.

"Okay, accepted. Then can I know who's Nicholas Santiago del Rio?"

Riak muka Wira mula berubah dan ada satu keluhan keluar dari bibirnya.

"Okay, what rumours are you hearing?"

"Unfortunately this time, I heard once. I gave you the benefit of a doubt at first but seems like, you are not good at cleaning your own mess, Wira."

Gadis itu ambil sehelai kertas dan ditayang di hadapan muka Wira. "Look, be honest, where were you last week?"

"Cate, I told you I was at my relative house..."

"Don't blufflah, babi! I have the evidence with me. Rumah saudara you kat Pulau Tioman ke?! Ni all the receipts ni siapa pulak yang berenang pergi sana tu if it's not you?!" Catherine membaling kertas booking confirmation hotel itu ke muka Wira.

"Also, you really think you are dating someone that my friend is not in his close friend list? Then agak-agak where I got ah all these pictures of you guys going on dates?" Sekali lagi, Catherine membaling kertas-kertas gambar itu ke muka Wira. "Am I that stupid to you, Wira?"

"Cate, I can explain..."

"Not that line, Wira. Look, all this time, eight years of together, I trusted you. I TRUSTED YOU!"

Catherine duduk sekejap menenangkan dirinya. Dadanya tak berhenti berombak. Dia berdiri semula.

"Also, why ah? Of all the other places in this world, you choose Switzerland? You know, for years I was dreaming to go there with you but you! You choose to bring someone else there, to a place that I really want to go with you!"

Wira diam membantu. Tak terangkat wajahnya memandang Catherine.

"You bring him to Switzerland, it's my dream, Wira! Not his. My dream! You sendiri tahu how badly it is of my dream to go there. Yeah I pernah pergi sana with my family but I want to go there with you!"

Masih lagi Wira diam membantu. Satu pun tak terkeluar dari mulutnya.

"When everyone was spreading the rumours about you being gay few years ago, fine. For me, as long as you are still with me, I'm fine. And when you told me that you might be bisexual, okay fine tak apa. I try to faham perasaan you."

"About Switzerland, Catherine, I'm sorry. I didn't know..."

"No, Wira. You completely know what is happening."

"I tahu the Switzerland part must got you really upset..."

"It's not just the Switzerland part. This is not only about Switzerland. I trusted you, Adiwira. I trusted that I am the only one in your life. I trusted that, Wira!"

"Catherine, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry because you got caught, Wira. Why are you doing this to me? Apa yang I buat?"

"No, Catherine. You tak salah."

"Then why?"

Sekali lagi, Wira diam membatu.

"Okay then, do you love me?"

"Yes, Catherine. Stop asking me that."

"Okay, fine. Do you love this Nicholas guy?"

"Cate, don't do this to me, okay. You know I have to..."

"Have to what? Choose me?"

"Cate, I love you."

"Then why there's him? Love story should only have two characters, Wira."

"I made a mistake, I know that. Forgive me, Catherine."

"And what? Trusted you again to not going to do this again?"

Wira cuba meraih tangan Catherine tapi pantas ianya ditepis.

"You tak nak kahwin lagi sebab tak ready, I ikut. You suruh I change my agama if we would ever got married, I sanggup. Borang pun I dah ambil. All the things I would do for you, Wira and this is what you give to me?"

"Cate..."

"Now, I don't care. I want you to choose. Me or that boy?"

Wira yang sebelumnya sudah menerima soalan yang sama mula kusut kembali. Kedua-duanya dia sayangi tapi pilihan harus dibuat.

"Him."

Mendengarkan itu, Catherine terus terduduk di atas sofa. Menahan setiap titisan air mata yang boleh jatuh bila-bila masa sahaja. Dadanya terasa macam nak pecah. Setiap nafas dirasakan berat.

"I'm sorry, Catherine."

Air mata Catherine jatuh juga. "Apa salah I, Wira? What else yang ada kat dia, yang I tak ada?"

Wira menggeleng.

"I love you, Wira. But you made the decision right? Thank you, Wira. But listen to me. It's not my fault that you lose someone who would do anything to fight for their love. I wish you well."

Sekali lagi, Wira tidak bersuara membalasnya.