One Step Ahead Part II | Sirius Black

Chapter 221

"They're always weird," The Ravenclaw replies with a sigh, and when Sirius' eyes begin to water like mad he finally caves and blinks.

When he opens his eyes again, Gwen is smiling. Smug, triumphant. But he doesn't mind. He understands. She's where he had been a few days ago, pissed at the world and frustrated by forced secrecy. The world was dark, not just because of the evil, but because they were blind to what was coming next. Gwen had been the one to calm him down, explain why James and Lily couldn't stay here, why they couldn't just hide with them. He decides against telling her the same things. He was glad she was angry. He was scared of what would happen if she kept it locked up.

"Better?" Sirius wonders, earning a nudge against his chest from her arms that is halfhearted.

"I wish I knew that Alice and Frank were okay."

He blinks, shocked by her admission. He recovers quickly, hoping to not scare her off. Schooling his expression to one of curiosity, he hesitates before offering, "Well we don't know that they aren't okay."

Gwen blinks rapidly, and when her lips spread into a half grin, he isn't sure why. He's just glad.

"Merlin," Marlene snorts. "Sirius has spent so much time with Gwen that he's starting to fucking sound like her."

His ears burn with embarrassment over Marlene's frustratingly accurate words, hurriedly shifting his gaze away from mischievous blue while he barks irritably, "Oi, McKinnon! Focus on packing a single bloody box. I've done three times as many as you!"

"Oh fuck off—"

"Enough!" Dorcas cries, pointing her finger at Gwen and saying pointedly, "Quit causing problems for your own entertainment!"

Sirius whips his head around, staring down at Gwen with wide eyes. Her lips are pursed in disappointment, like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Yes, Sirius could tell by her mischievous frustration that Gwen was equal parts bored, sad, and overwhelmed. So much so that she was somehow starting arguments with her mystic ways.

Sirius stares at her silently for a moment before bending and pitching her over his shoulder, his smile returning when he hears nothing but a resigned sigh escape his fiancé.

Marlene and Dorcas simply wave when Sirius hauls her out of James and Lily's soon to be empty bedroom and into the one Sirius and Gwen had come to occupy across the hall. He'd come to love this room, crave the sanctuary of it. He could remember what it felt like the very first time he'd snuck in and slipped under the sheets with her. They were still friends then. Or at least that's what they both said they were.

And every time he walks past the door now, he savors the touches of the beach that have begun to settle into their rightful places. The shell he'd pressed into her hand all of those nights ago, the dog figurine he gave her to protect her. A bottle of sand, charmed so that when turned on it's side waves would suddenly crash inside the glass. He even liked the pelican feather stretched out and displayed proudly on one shelf.

Sirius sets Gwen down on her feet, shuts the door with his foot and mumbles a silencing spell on the room all before turning to her and saying firmly, "Go ahead."

Gwen quirks a brow at him before saying plainly, "I don't know what you're talking about."

He's tempted to reach out and toss her onto the bed, rid her of frustration in a way that will leave her body shaking and his back covered in marks from her nails he'd wish to keep permanent. Not now, but maybe later. He had a feeling she needed something different. Sirius shoves his hands into his pockets, shrugging, "Let it out. Scream, yell—"

"I don't do that."

Sirius pauses, trying to say something to convince her. Clearly she's itching to do something, frustrated by the way their all forced to basically wait for their demise. Sirius is frustrated too. So he pulls his hands from his pockets, opens his mouth and lets out a yell so loud that Gwen flinches and covers her ears.

"Sirius," She says loudly in surprise, and he shakes his head, shouting more until his lungs hurt and his jaw aches. "Sirius! Stop—"

"Let it out, Gwen!" He pleads loudly, tilting his head up to the ceiling and shouting, "No one can hear you! So scream!"

The Veela stares at him with wide eyes and slightly parted lips. He stops for a moment, watching her as a realization washes over him. He's not certain that Gwen had ever yelled just to yell. Let go just because she can. He wonders if her whole life had been so wrapped up in controlling who she is, that maybe she's even scared to do it. Or maybe she'd just never needed it before.

"Scream, Ninnie!" Sirius encourages, raising his voice so loud that it hurts his own years, "Scream!"

Gwen keeps her hands clamped over her ears, staring at him with those wide, naïve blues. And then Sirius watches as she seems to come to her own realization. Gwenyth Whitlock opens her mouth and screams, loud and raw and surprisingly not unpleasant to hear.

Sirius grins, waving his hands to convince her to be louder, to let her frustration out more and more. And as he does, her yelling gets louder, crescendoing like a wave that he can't resist joining in on. Together, they scream and yell complete nonsense, and Sirius yells louder so that she will, challenging her just as she needed to be.

Her head falls back, and Sirius watches her turn even more beautiful as she lets go for what he thinks may truly be the first time. At least like this. And while they yell, he falters and focuses on remembering this. Something told him deep down inside that he would want to remember this moment. When freedom seemed so unattainable that he and Gwen had made their own, right in the very room where he'd found real freedom for the first time.

His throat burns by the time their shouts die out, and then Gwen tilts her chin down, her hair hiding her face from him. He panics when he hears a noise coming from her chest that is raspy and hoarse, but nearly melts into a puddle at her feet when he realizes that she's laughing. Not tears or sniffles, just quiet bubbling giggles that threaten to sweep him off his feet.

He stands frozen, unsure of what to do. But then she lifts her head and her hair sweeps back from her face, revealing pink cheeks from the strain of yelling and her eyes that seem maybe a bit more expressive than they did before he pulled her into this room. Gwen smiles at him, sighing her words like it's simple and easy as breathing, "I love you, Sirius Black."

His hand covers his chest, pressing hard to try and reassure himself that his heart isn't going to leap free from the confines. How could the thing that made him feel so strong nearly bring him to his knees? He takes the few small steps separating them, moves his hands to press them against her flushed cheeks. The warmth soothes his soul, settles his racing heart.

"Mon étoilé," Sirius whispers, his head slumping down to rest against hers. If she only knew how it felt to hear someone as extraordinary as her say those words. "When you say that..."

Gwen hums quietly. He can feel her gentle smile in the way her cheeks press to his hands. She tiptoes her fingers up his arms, goosebumps following in her wake until her hands stop, resting above his erratically beating heart, "That I love you? I do, mon rêve. Tojours."

She reaches up, slides her hands up over his shoulders to cup the back of his neck and when her lips find his, it feels like serenity. Sirius feels his lips smile against hers, and he can't help but lean back and whisper, "I think that everyone is going to be fine. Really, Gwen. I think it's all going to be okay."

She wraps her arms around him, hugging him tight and resting her chin on his shoulder. He wasn't lying. He believed it. He believed that with her, things would always end up okay.

If he'd just seen the nervous look on her face, he might have begun to believe otherwise.