Stepping Away: TWDG (Book Three, Clementine x Fem!Oc)

Above The Law (Part 1) | "Strike three! Batter out!"

I looked down, not meeting her eyes as I dug my hands into my pockets.

Emma: I’ve made two promises now…

Clementine: Huh?

Emma: Two promises. To keep you safe. One from Lee and one from my dad. I don’t want to ever break them, even though they’re… gone. I just need you to be safe.

Clementine: So… what? You tried to get yourself killed so you could protect me? Don’t you fucking get it!? I made a promise, too! And I would rather die than break it.

Emma: Who… What promise?

Clementine: Back on that train going to Savannah, your dad took me aside after Duck and your mom died. He made me promise that I would look out for you, keep you safe. I took that promise and just like you, I intend on keeping it, so stop trying to get yourself fucking killed!

Emma: I’m not trying–

Clementine: Yes, you are! You always risk your life for others! It’s always others before you… But in a world like this… how it is now… You can’t just risk your life for others and expect to always get away with it!

Emma: I’m don’t–

Clementine: Let me finish!

I went silent, holding my breath, waiting for her to say what she needed to say.

Clementine: You think you’re helping, but you’re not! Okay? Every time you sacrifice yourself for some stupid shit that maybe would save one other person, I see you dead… gone forever and it– I can’t… I don’t want to think about that! It sounds stupid, but you’re being selfish by being selfless! You don’t seem to think about what others will do when you are gone… You don’t think about what will happen to me. All that time we were apart, I felt like I couldn’t breath, like my throat had closed up. There was a pain in my chest and it wouldn’t go away. I dealt with that for months… alone. Then I found you again. I couldn’t believe it, but it was a breath of fresh air. Like someone had pumped life back into my body. I was whole again. Didn’t you feel that!?

Looking back up from the ground with every word, I met her eyes, tears falling out of frustration and sadness. I wanted to wipe them away, but I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.

Emma: I– Of course I fucking felt it! When you were gone… I didn’t know how to live… I just was. I was never really in control, just… here.

I pointed to my head, and she watched with a clenched jaw.

Emma: I was stuck in my own mind. It was your words, running through my head. Anything you have ever said was stuck up there and I couldn’t get you out. It was like you were there, but you weren’t. I felt… crazy! I thought you were gone forever. I thought you were… I didn’t want to believe, but without proof, what else was I supposed to think!? You can get angry at me for wanting to die to save you, or for protecting you or– or even for being away from you for so long, but don’t forget… I was and am hurting just as much as you!

Now both of us were crying on the outskirts of this deserted town. Neither of us wanted to move, or speak, or do anything. It was just tears and the truth (most of it) out in front of us, hanging in the air as we both tried to understand each other’s pain.

Clementine: I–

Emma: It’s fine, Clem.

Clementine: No, it’s not. Whatever this is, it isn’t fine!