The only exception

chapter 4

When I was little I use to love it when my mom woke me up for school. She would come into my room and whisper in my ear " Juls Juls it's time to wake up" she would brush her fingers over my ears and kiss me on my forehead. I would pretend to be asleep so she would stay a little bit longer. I'm not sure when that stopped. I'm not sure when I started waking myself up. I don't remember and I wish I did.
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I have only one class today which is journalism and of course working in the library. My journalism class isn't till 10:15 and it's 9 right now. I lay in bed and stare at my ceiling. I miss the hospital secretly. I didn't like it when I was there but now that I'm back I miss it. I'm not 18 yet I turn 18 in September it's August. I'm trapped I'm stuck I cant go anywhere. My mom won't let me leave until I'm 18 I can't breathe when I'm with her. I feel like I'm suffocating choking gasping for air. I wanted to stay with my dad when I got out but she wouldn't let me. My own mother condoned me from moving when I graduated.I'm tired I want to be a kid again. I want to be that little girl who thought my mom was a saint. Even then I was blind to what was going on but at least I was happy. At least I still wanted to be with her. I miss that I miss what we use to be. I miss my old mom.

I finally get up to wash my face and brush my teeth. I fix my bangs and brush through the knots in my hair. I look over at my makeup that has been sitting in my drawer for years untouched. I swamped out pink eyeshadows for black ones. My brown eyeliner for black. I like the black it makes me feel good.

I scrummage through my drawer until I find lace tights and a black mini skirt. I take off a black and white striped sweater off of a hanger and throw it on my bed. I grab my black booties to finish off my outfit.

I look in my vanity drawer that hasn't been opened in what seems like forever. I see my favorite rings and necklace lying waiting to be worn. I grab black abs white pearls and hang it on my neck along with a silver and black rose that actually was a gift from Ivy.  I smudge black eyeshadow and eyeliner over my waterline and the lid of my eyes making my eyes pop. My eyes look bright for the first time in forever but it's just cause the makeup. It's an allusion it isn't real.

My mom is asleep again when I leave I don't bother waking her up this time.

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When I get to class I sit in the back. I'm excited for journalism I enjoy writing specially when I can choose whatever topic. Since I'm interested in editing I chose English has my major. I'm content and happy with that. I wouldn't say it was my dream growing up but i think i would enjoy it. I always wondered about pursuing editing but never looked into it until I was applying for classes.

The teacher seems nice she introduced herself as Miss Jacobs. She's younger and seems to me intimated by the many eyes staring back at her. I can tell she's nervous but shes good at disgusting her emotions. I understand the deeper meaning of her feet taps every once in awhile or the popping of her knuckles. The consistent chewing of her lips. I didn't know I could relate to someone so much. For the remainder of the period she goes over the expectations. Before class is over she gives us a prompt to write abut why we chose this class and what we wanna learn from it. My mind is already filing through so many ideas of what I can write. I want to make a good first impression. Then as I was imagining my fifth sentence the bell rings.

When I walk into the library there's more bodies than usual. I checked myself in and was making my way over to start shelving book returns as Mrs Baker grabs my attention . She lifts her glasses so there lying on top of her bed. Her hair is in a clip today.
" Hey Juliet sweetie you will be stamping books today with Will then shelving those ones". I just stare at her confused. Who's will? Why does that name sound familiar. Then it hits me the clumsy asshole.