The only exception

chapter 3

My skin is scarred. My beautiful pale skin is tainted. Little white likes some pinkish cover my arm.

Why

Why

Why

Why

Why do you do this to yourself Juliet? Cutting makes me feel better. It hurts. It stings. I know it's bad. I know the consequences of me doing it but I still do it. I'm not entirely sure why. I don't wanna die maybe I'm crazy. I think I'm crazy I think something is very wrong with me. I don't think I'm all there. I wish I was normal I wish I didn't cut. I wish I didn't starve myself. I wish I had a different life.

I wish

I wish

I wish

It's 7:30 and I force myself to get up or I'll be late to school. It's so cold when I rip the covers off my body is shivering. The hardwood floor is like ice on my toes. I can hear the wind blowing. I can hear the trees swaying against my window. To some that's unappealing but for me it's my favorite. I love the cold. The winter. The snow the rain the gloomy sky's. It's depressing but maybe that's why I like it. I like the darkness it's comforting in a strange way.

When I sit up in bed I'm hit with my face staring back at be in the through the mirror.

I stare at myself. Nothing special nothing worth looking at I use to be prettier I think. My hair is black ow I like it I do. I actually love it but it's not my long thick wavy dark brown hair I had. The girl who has that hair is in the past. She was young and pure and was blind to the world. The girl I'm looking at is broken. My lips are chapped my eyes are not as bright green. My eye bags hang low on my face. Small freckles scatter the bridge of my nose. Fringe covers my forehead a little above my eyebrows. My nose is pierced as with my lip. A promiscuous thing I did last summer before I was sent away.
I don't recognize myself.

I throw on whatever I find in my closet. I put on white tank top to go under my black sweater which has rips in it. I grab a leather jacket to go over. It looks like a storms coming in so I grab a beanie too.

I grab my black eyeliner and smudge it across my eyelids. I put some chapstick on my somewhat plump lips and throw my bag over my shoulders. I haven't even left the house yet and I wanna leave.

Thinking about being in a class with other kids makes my stomach ache. An uneasy feeling settles in me.I shut my door and peak in at my mom.

"Bye mom I'm leaving" she's asleep when I walk in alcohol lingers on her body. She doesn't open her eyes as I shake her.

"Bye" she mumbles as she rolls over to the other side. I stare at her lifeless body almost feeling pity for her then I stop myself and walk out the door.

....

It's raining when I walk out I stop for a minute and let the rain fall on me. I'm aware I look like a weirdo but I don't give a shit. I haven't seen rain in 30 days.

It takes me 10 minutes to get to school. I park far away from everyone else. The sky is dark and gloomy but it usually always is where I live in Washington. I see kids laughing probably a first year like me. They look excited I miss that.

I'm fine though really I'm fine really.

I grab my bag and a pack of gum and throw it in my bag. I leave one piece out to have right now. I check my phone as I push my my door open. I hear a loud grunt along with cursing.

What the hell? I put my phone down and look up.

" Fuck" someone says I identify it as a boys voice.
The guy is clutching his side like a baby. It's a door he's acting like he got shot. It wasn't even that hard why is he complaining? He's the one who's in the way. I take him in.