Firecracker- John Shelby

-twelve-

"Thomas Shelby I am going to the races!" I said
I was fed up of being excluded. I wasn't
allowed to get involved in the kimber business anymore due to my family history, every time I brought up the guns Tommy shut me down, ada still hadn't reached out to me and the boys never let me get involved with the fighting.
"You stay with Arthur and John and out of sight of kimber" he said sternly while pointing at my face.

Me ,Arthur, John and all the men gathered around as Arthur jumped on top of the box and addressed us all.
"Attention!" He said
"Right. This is what's known as your final briefing before going over the top, sixty miles down that road is cheltenham racetrack. Johnny, what is our mission, boy?!"He asked
"To stick it to the lee family, Arthur!" John chanted
"Why's that Shirley!" he said
"The lees are skimming money of the legal bookies. Running chalk, selling rafflers, then beating up them as wont buy, but today we're going to stop them."I said
"What about kimbers men? I thought he had his own protection." John asked
"Kimbers let his troops go rotten. They're on the take from the lees to look the other way. Where gonna show them how it should be done"Arthur said
"Now take what your good at" Arthur said
I went towards to chest.
"Those of you with guns, keep them out of it. Unless a gun is pulled on you we want this done quietly"Arthur said
Finn picked up a dagger, John snatched it off him and handed it to me.
"Thanks" I said twisting it in my hands.
"Or..." I said taking out my gun and showing it to john, silencer on the end of it.
He smirked then moved in front of me swiftly as Arthur walked past, blocking it from view.
"So when do we share out the cash" John asked distracting him.
"We don't. We're not keeping the cash. Your in Tommy's army now, boys. Trust only kin...lets go" Arthur answered
We all clambered in the truck.
I barely fit between Arthur and john.

We got to the races. Arthur,John and all of the men immediately headed for the men's toilets.
"I can't go in there" I said
John lifted up my hair then put his cap on my head, tucking my hair into it. Arthur clapped me on the back.
I scoffed and followed after them.
John ran and grabbed the lee man who had someone pinned against a wall. He struggled to escape his grip.
"Hello raz! How's business?" Arthur asked
Then he hit him hard in the stomach,  he doubled over in pain. John then lifted him up
and kneed him, I winced at the sight and Arthur noticed. Arthur looked between me and raz as if formulating a plan, while John was hitting his head on the sink over and over again, then he grabbed him by the chin and pinned him to the wall.
"Shirley come ere" Arthur said.
I slowly inched towards the men.
"Take of your cap" he said, I did hesitantly.
He nodded towards raz and when I didn't move  Arthur looked at John, who nodded
He came up behind me and grabbed my hand. He brought the blade up to razs ear for me.When I pulled my arm back johns grip tightened.
"Stop" he whispered to me sternly.
I relaxed my hand and held my eyes shut. I felt the blade reach his ear. Yet again I tried to pull my arm away instinctively.
John just held onto my hand tighter until I could move. I knew the blade had made contact when raz started to scream and warm liquid dripped onto my hand.
"Stay still raz, or she'll take the whole ear off!" Arthur said
I opened my eyes and John let go off me.
"And your gonna need your ears to listen. No more chalking on billy kimbers boys. Right? We're the protection now" Arthur said
I took a few steps back to look at the scene. Seeing what I had just done.I looked down at the cap still in my hands, covered in blood.
"I commandeer this stolen money by order of the peaky blinders!" Arthur said
John kneed raz in the stomach one more time and he fell to the floor.
When everyone turned to leave i stood still staring at raz, John grabbed my upper arm roughly and pulled me away.
"Come on" he said said, somehow sounding angry at me, after he had just forced me to cut someone's ear off.
The whole day was the same thing over again. I hung around behind everyone and only got involved when I need to, when Arthur or john asked me to.
As soon as I got home i got in the shower and scrubbed myself of a million different peoples blood. I wondered if these things bothered Arthur or John at all, I imagined they wouldn't after everything they saw in the war. I could never understand, things where peaceful when the women where left in charge, there was no need for violence, it's not the same as fighting or even shooting somebody, disfiguring people with your bare hands is both beautiful and sickening. I couldn't understand why Arthur made me do it. Maybe he thought I was soft or too weak. I knew I couldn't face John or Arthur for a while. So I went to bed and planned to sleep well into the afternoon.