Colors [Yoonmin]

15.

"Woah. Slow down. That's a lot to process. When did this happen?" Jungkook asked.

"Yesterday after our hernia repair."

"So you're competing with a dead man?" Namjoon asked.

Jungkook hit him across his chest, "Fuck sakes. A little compassion here."

"Ouch. I'm just saying. That's a tough competition."

"Well, we don't know if he's really dead. That's why I'm asking for this favor."

"Okay. I can do that. Dr. Kim Seokjin has a big mouth. I'm sure it won't take much."

"Thank you Namjoon!"

"I could've done that too. If I was with Dr. Kim Seokjin. Not Kim Taehyung. Bleh. I have to go show him these films. See you guys later. Don't forget to keep me updated on your romantic situation."

"I wouldn't necessarily call it romantic. He's clearly rejecting me." Jimin pouted.

"Yellow, falling in love with your resident is the worst mistake you can ever make. Love is not made for surgeons." Namjoon patted his back and walked away.

Jimin's face was bright red. He wouldn't necessarily call his little crush on Yoongi "love". He took a deep breath and ignored his thumping heart as he made his way back to his resident.

Meanwhile, Namjoon was back in the hallway where he last saw Dr. Kim Seokjin. He peeked inside the NICU room where Jin was looking down at the baby whose arm he had reattached.

Namjoon thought of how odd it was seeing Jin in such a nurturing way. He was smiling at the baby and cooing words. It wasn't until Namjoon cleared his throat that he looked up.

"Ahh. You're back. How do the labs look?" He asked, stepping outside the room.

Namjoon walked next to him and handed him the results. "Looks stable. Is the baby okay?" He asked.

"Oh yeah. He's perfect. I have to admit I'm a pretty damn good doctor. I reattached that baby's arm." He smiled bragging and with good reason.

"That was very impressive."

"For now you can finish your charts. I have another surgery scheduled at 5."

"Okay...Dr. Kim?"

"Hmm?" He asked, turning around.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"I was wondering if Dr. Min is available?"

"Available for what?"

"I'm interested in him. You know, for a potential hookup. He's very handsome."

Jin's mouth dropped open, "Really? I mean yeah, he's very handsome but I know people that are more handsome. I could name a few right now. Not that Yoongi is ugly. He's so gorgeous and everything. He's just...I can't see him as attractive because he's my friend and...okay never mind."

"Of course there's other handsome men, but my main interest is Dr. Min. I know he's your friend so I would like to know if he's in a relationship. The last thing I'd like to do is mess it up."

Jin blinked rapidly and cleared his throat as he began walking. It was at a slow pace and Namjoon was keeping up.

"Yoongi is single, but he's not looking for a relationship."

"I wasn't looking for a relationship. I'm looking for a hookup."

"Namjoon, I think you should stay away from him."

"Why's that?"

Jin bit the inside of his lip. Yoongi was used to hookups. In fact, that was his thing. But the thought of Namjoon sleeping with him was burning him inside. It twisted his organs in a way he couldn't explain.

"He was previously married. If he were to get attached to you he'd freak out."

"Previously married? So he's divorced?"

"No. He's widowed. His husband died in a tragic accident. He had heart complications and it happened so abruptly that Yoongi was left pretty hurt."

"Ahh. Okay. I guess I'll stay away from him then. Thank you Dr. Kim."

Jin was left behind with his inside voice yelling at him for saying too much. Why couldn't he ever keep his mouth shut?

•••

"What did you bring me this time?"

"Nothing, I actually ate it on the way here. My bad." Yoongi said as he walked towards the red couch.

Hoseok closed the door behind and took a seat in front of him. He watched as Yoongi tapped his fingers against his kneecaps.

"What's wrong?"

"It was so pitiful," he began with a whisper. His eyes were glossy almost like he could cry. Hoseok nodded attentively while listening.

"It was like watching a child fall. So full of life, so happy, so loving. I watched him fall for me and I couldn't catch him. It was fucking pitiful."

Hoseok kept a calm and steady voice. "Are we talking about Jimin?"

"Yes! I—I have tried to ignore it. To ignore his stares, his actions, he was so heartbroken when I told him I only wanted to be friends."

"So, you like him too, but you're afraid of committing to another relationship?"

"Well, my last one didn't exactly turn out how I envisioned. My husband is dead! I'm a thirty-year old widowed who works 90 hour shifts. I don't want to lose another person and if I get involved with Jimin and something happens..."

"What if nothing happens?"

Yoongi looked up to look at him. He calmed his racing thoughts by focusing on his hair. It was a dark brown color and his new haircut was shorter than usual.

"Did you get a new haircut?"

"Yes. I did."

"Cool. It looks nice."

"Did you know a thought of a lion doesn't make it a lion?"

"What?" He asked, confused.

"A thought is just a thought. It won't make it real. You have clear trauma from your husband's death. It will take time to grieve. You didn't give yourself enough time to process it all."

"I grieved for three years. I stopped my career midway because of it. I can't let it hold me back anymore." He angrily said.

"You never fully accepted his death. You've come a long way, you've grown as a person, you've learned how to control your anxiety a lot better. It's okay to not feel okay sometimes. Setbacks are part of the recovery, but you want to know something?"

"Huh?" He asked quietly.

"I don't think Jimin is a setback. I think you like him and I know you're scared, but you just have to keep remembering that just because you think of a lion it doesn't make it real."