transgender ♀♂ muke

02

its been a week since i got settled in and now it's the weekend, on monday marks the first day of classes. in the past week i've gotten to know michael a bit and he really is an amazing person. he mentioned that he also has an older brother, but his is transgender and his name is colton, he's married with three kids and michael said he looks up to him, because after all he's been through he managed to create this beautiful life for himself.

after hearing all about colton i can say he is quite inspirational, confidence doesn't come easy when no one considers you a regular person. its hard to look up in peoples eyes and smile when other people make you feel like you don't deserve to. it's not an easy thing and it never has, nor ever will be. therefor i see colton as inspirational, to do what he did, holy shit he must be brave and confident. i'd kill for something like that.

"hey luke?" i look up at him.

"hm?"

"well i was thinking since classes start on monday, and it's only saturday, do you wanna go to a party tonight?" a party? oh fuck.

"i uh, i don't thin-"

"oh c'mon luke it'll be fun, for me? please?" he's giving my puppy dog eyes. shitshitshit
don't do that michael shit.

"ugh, fine." a smile spreads across his face and he slaps a hand on my shoulder.

"i'll make sure you have a good time man, its gonna be okay." i let out a shaky sigh and close my eyes, trying to calm my nerves.

"yeah, i hope so." i whisper under my breath.

i've never been to a party and my fears are i don't wanna be intoxicated and accidentally tell someone that i'm transgender or some other thing. maybe i just shouldn't drink and then i'll have my mind set straight the whole time.

time flew past quickly as it's time to get ready for the "party" and i'm almost sick to my stomach. i wish i didn't have these types of nerves.

"why do you wear so much black?" i look up at him, trying not to laugh.

"what do you mean?" he looks me up and down and points to my black nirvana shirt and my black skinny jeans.

"even your lip ring is a matte black." he laughs at me. "it's kinda... punk rock?"

i couldn't hold in my laughter anymore and burst out laughing, clutching my stomach. michael starts laughing more than he was before and soon were both laughing when we should be getting ready.

"like you can talk about me and my black clothes, your hair is pink, galaxy boy."

"galaxy boy? really? that's the best you could come up with?" he interrogates me.

"sh i panicked" michael raises an eyebrow at me.

"i can see that." i smile before finishing getting ready and michael leads me to his car driving to a big house, with music radiating off the walls.

i squeeze my eyes shut and pretend i'm back in the dorm, reading a book in the warmth of my own blankets. "michael i'm scared."

"what? haven't you ever been to a party before?" i slowly shake my head no.

"ohmygod luke, i'm so sorry i had no idea, why didn't you tell me?" i shrugged.

"i didn't think it was really a big deal." michael looked stunned for a moment but then recovered himself.

"ok, stick by me, and don't do anything i tell you not to do, same with talking to people, if theres someone i tell you to steer clear of, do it, oh, and don't leave your drink anywhere. but really just have fun okay? if you want to stay with me you can but you don't exactly have to do so. got it?" i take in all his information.

stick by michael.

do what he says.

don't leave your drink anywhere.

got it.

"i think i should be okay, thank you, i know i shouldn't be this nervous but i am." i shoot a weak smile his way and he returns it.

"it's okay, luke, i won't let anything happen to you. let's go yeah?"

with that i get out of the car and walk to the front door, standing close to michael. the closer i stand to him the less anxious i feel. he rings the doorbell and a drunk frat boy swings the door open. the second we step in an overwhelming smell of alcohol filled the air and i cringed.

michael grabs my hand before dragging me through the house to the backyard, saying hi to a few people along the way.

"why the backyard?" i try and question him over the music. he doesn't hear me at first, just keeps moving forward.

we finally make it to the backyard through the giant frat house and as soon he slides the glass door shut i turn him to me and ask the same question. "why the backyard?" he just smiles and looks to his left and so i turn to my right and finally see the bonfire.

"i love fires at night, my favourite thing actually."

"me too." i tell him and he once again grabs my hand and we walk over to the fire and find two extra lawn chairs.

after about five minutes, without looking at me he grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers, but eyes still trained on the fire. my heart beat increases greatly and i try to keep from getting sweaty palms.

eventually i know i have all emotions under control and i smile warmly while looking at the fire. we held hands for the rest of the night, neither of us said anything about it but no one needed to say anything.

---

the next morning i wake up with a great stretch. michael was already awake and sitting up in bed on his phone. sometimes i wonder what he does on his phone that causes him to always be on it.

but thats none of my business. (i'm so proud of that one i'm crying, im hoping someone gets it omg)

suddenly theres a knock on the door and michael grumbles before going to stand up but i stop him, "i've got it mikey, don't worry about it" i tell him.

i throw the blankets off of myself and stand up, but when i do i notice in the corner of my eye that michael was looking at me. probably just waiting for me to get to the door and see who it is.

when i do open the door i see ashton standing there with a goofy smile on his face.

"mom gave me your dorm number." of course she did, because i forgot to tell him. i crash into him, wrapping my arms around him tightly and he does the same.

"i missed you little brother." ash mumbles before letting me go. "and you must be michael!" he gestures towards the blue headed boy sitting on the other side of the room.

michael immediately stands up to greet ashton, and he shakes his hand firmly. "it's nice to meet you, ashton." he says politely.

"and you, michael." ashton replies. he then turns back to me.

"so i was thinking, as your last day before classes, i could take you out for lunch, or shopping even if you need any clothes. i got a massive promotion a couple months ago and thats all i'll say about that but i think it would be fun, michael could come if he wants as well, i wouldn't mind at all." i turn to michael with a look that says 'i'd love for you to come, will you please?'

"um no, that's okay, that's your time and i wouldn't want to intrude. i'll see you luke when you get back yeah?" he tells me and i nod, following ashton out the door.