Chapter VIII

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We were given a choice,

One that led to bloodshed.

One that made me realize something.

I'm a Monster—a murder. I didn't kill anybody, you see. The person I killed was me.

I killed who I was to be perfect for you; little did I know that was a mistake.

Because you never loved me anyway.

°°°

Sebastian POV

I watched as Tobias's eyes grew dark, but he didn't stand up. He stared at his brothers in silence. Lys scratched his head.

"I started it," Bannahell said, breaking the silence. "It's my fault, and I'm sorry. Just don't be angry."

Tobias cocked his head to the side. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Uncle Frankie and Lucifer. Lotus and Kane had snuck in and were hiding behind Kit. Tobias folded his arms and leaned back.

"I'm not angry," he replied. The Hellmen siblings all seemed to look relieved. "I'm disappointed."

All of their faces fell at the same time. Bannahell looked like he was about to cry. Lys stared down at his feet and shuffled behind Ban. Lancaster stepped in front of Alias and Mordecai. Romeo walked forward and stood with his head down.

"We are family. We are all that each other have," Tobias whispered, "you are all that I have."

Tobias glanced at Blue Jay.

"What if you had gotten caught by a teacher and they had called father?" Tobias asked, turning back to them. "What then? He would have taken out his anger on Blue Jay. Then what would you have done?... Answer me!"

The Hellmen siblings flinched.

"N-nothing," Ban whispered. Tobias stood up in a flash.

"You wouldn't have done nothing because you can't!" Tobias screamed, "I have protected you! All of you! But I can't protect you if I die!"

Bannahell flinched.

"I would have died to protect Blue Jay because you started something!" Tobias went on, "we are family! We don't fight! We don't hate each other! You can argue! But once you raise a fist, you are no better than that man!"

Lys looked up.

"I'm sorry, Tobias," he whispered.

Tobias just shook his head. Tobias took a deep breath.

"It's," he replied shaky, "not your fault. It's mine."

All of the Hellmen's looked up at the same time.

"I take full responsibility for everything," Tobi ran a hand through his hair. "Just," his voice cracked, "just don't fight anymore."

Then he disappeared past Kit, not even sparing me a glance. Bannahell shared a look with Lys.

"We," Lys said, "fucked up."

"Why?" Asked Romeo, "does he always think it's his fault? Why does he think he needs to protect us!?"

Lancaster shook his head.

"You weren't there when Steele died, Romeo," Lancaster replied, "you didn't see how much it killed Tobias to feel so..."

"Weak," Bannahell replied.

"But we can help him, can't we?" Alias asked. Lancaster shook his head.

"Sebastian, you should go after him," Lys whispered, "before he does something... Regretable."

I didn't reply and just stood up. I was pushing past my cousin on the way out.

°°°

Mordecai POV

"You both fucked up!" I growled once Sebastian was gone. "Now Tobias is doing god knows what god knows where!"

"Is it so fucking hard not to try and kill each other!?" Alias added. Lys and Ban glanced at Blue Jay.

"You're killing him," Romeo whispered, "we... Are killing Tobias. A little more every day."

"Shut up!" Bannahell roared and turned to Romeo. Lancaster grabbed his arm.

"Not," he growled lowly, "in front of Blue Jay!"

"Then tell that little Bastard to shut the fuck up!" Ban growled back.

Alias flinched visibly.

"Didn't that kid just tell you to stop fighting?" Asked a voice. We all turned to face a tall, muscled blond.

"Yet, here you are," purred another voice, "starting another fight." A tall black-haired man stood in a suit, arms crossed and grinning like the devil. An African American was kneeling next to Blue Jay.

"Fuck off!" Bannahell growled. Lys grabbed his wrist.

"Tobias," he said, "told us no more fighting."

Bannahell wretched his wrist free and glared down at Lys.

"I hate you!" Then he stalked off, letting those words hang in the air. I sighed.

"I'm gonna go give a call to August and Clarence," I said. My brothers turned to me.

"No!" They all shouted.

"Yep," I replied, "cause it seems Tobi can't keep us in line without the last two Hellmen Bastards."

August, Clarence, and Tobias were all the same age. Clarence and August had been born due to our mother dearest sleeping with another man six months after Tobi was born. They both lived in New York with our super cool Aunt. Neither had chosen to leave our dear Tobi's side, but father wanted nothing to do with two boys who weren't his. We also had a sister born due to our mother sleeping around. But we haven't seen Cas in years. Wonder how she's doing?

I pulled out my phone when a slim hand took it from me. I glanced up to see Romeo.

"Better I call them instead of you," he whispered, "you know they don't like you."

I nodded. August and Clarence didn't like any of us except Romeo and, of course, Tobias.

He was the sun that we rotated around. Our gravity that kept us all from floating away. I could only imagine what would happen if Tobias were to disappear.

Everything I fear would end in Brimstones and Dynamite

°°°

An- fun fact Brimstones and Dynamite is a title to another book I'm writing. Set in the same universe. I plan on posting it when this book is finished. I hope you'll read that one. And of not. That's ok.

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