Came Because of Our Song ✔️

Let My Mind Bleed

For  while, no one spoke and Lan Xichen was almost ready to bow out of the awkward and stilted meeting when Lan Qiren turned towards the open window providing a view of the wilted blossom tree outside and spoke:

“Don’t believe the words you hear,   Think about the words in air;                    I cannot guarantee this heart will speak I only wish my mind could bleed.”**

Lan Xichen is ordered to go after that. He doesn’t question it. He also doesn’t see a trickle of blood dropping down in the porcelain after he has left.

FLASHBACK ENDS

*

That was earlier this morning, before the brothers had started their journey, and now with the sun setting and the borders of Gusu miles behind them, Lan Xichen allows himself a moment to think over the words. His uncle, while a passionate art lover, was not someone who quoted verses in lieu of saying something or conveying a message.
No, he liked to debate the base of words on a cup of tea and hang scrolls of Lan ancestors’ pieces on the walls and have them in simple but exquisite calligraphy, written on a fan, on rare occasions. So it was completely out of Lan Xichen’s depth as to what Lan Qiren wanted to say.

The poem was not one he remembers hearing before, so maybe an unpopular work. Perhaps by an elder who wasn’t much known ? But if his uncle knew the poem, enough to use it in conversation with his nephew then it was surely a work of a colleague of his. A brevity?
As far as he knew, the Lans were known for their vast heritage of literature and art but their specialisation lied in long ballads and prose. Few ancestors had composed short works, or had been known and respected enough for their works to be considered a part of the library. Exceptions always existed but, they were few. He tried to wrack his brain for poems written for such purposes or any short poem exactly which wasn’t about love. His uncle would qi deviate before reciting a love poem in front of him.

Soon Wangji was back and Lan Xichen didn’t have much time to dwell on the matter. He let the matter rest for that time.

*

They changed their course of travel near Yunmeng. Travelling on sword, while faster than any other means required high amount of spiritual energy when covering long distances and it would be a careless action on their part to have depleted qi during travel.

The village they landed in was close enough to the borders to be lacking in heavy Yunmeng dialect but far enough from the mainland that only a few important buildings had the Nine Petal Lotus insignia on them. The brothers bought two horses at the market near an inn, ready to race through the upcoming forest. “They are the best gonzi! Trust me, this pair is my best and had been with me for years!”

The pair of horse was a couple in fact, the white mare typically having a reputation for not mingling with riders.

“She has a bit of a temper but won’t kick unless you annoy her too much. The last person who rented her returned her in a week—” before the master could complete his sentence, Lan Wangji, who was standing in front of the white mare got licked. The Second Jade blinked, confused and in answer the mare licked his cheek before rubbing her muzzle against him. A few workers standing near the horses rubbed their eyes in shock while a confused but happy Lan Wangji petted her as if the horse has been with him for years. Lan Xichen smiled, raising an eyebrow at the master in a silent question. You were saying something ?

The poor man looked like he had seen a miracle, gaping at the scene. The stag had also butted Lan Wangji after seeing his partner comfortable. The scene looked so calm no one would believe it was the same inapproachable and irate mare.

Needless to say, they turned a few eyes. The whole village knew about the mare and seeing her giving affection to a beautiful young man like he was her own foal was genuinely surprising.

They left the village on their respective horses, leaving behind an extremely happy and shocked horse master.

*

True to their master’s words, the horses sped through the thick foliage, dodging and skipping over branches, roots and hunters’ traps. By dusk, they had crossed the main forest and reached further northwest and decided to camp near the stream. The brook was crystal clear, with fishes easy to catch and they had their meal with some fish and wild mushrooms.

“Wangji ah, come here. Dinner is ready, just check the horses once and come here already.”

The white mare had been quite affectionate with Lan Wangji, who likewise had been beside her since they bought the pair. The stag was not much different but surely preferred to stay on the side-lines and watch instead of engaging with humans. Both the horses have been swishing their tails almost continuously though, which meant that the male was equal parts happy.

Lan Wangji gave one last petting to the alabaster mare, running his hands through her mane and face before returning to his brother. He was guilty of indulging his selfish desires instead of helping his brother but Lan Xichen took one look at him and shook his head; dismissing any apologies.

“No need to apologise didi. The horses must love you. There wasn’t much work anyway, give your arm some rest.”

“Xiongzhang” Lan Wangji knew his limits but he didn’t like it when his brother babied him. He was able to perform daily tasks, a minor injury wasn’t going to make him disabled.

Lan Xichen sighs. Knowing how much you have missed before is regret. But can being overbearing and protective of his thirty years old younger brother classify as overzealous at best ?

If he tries to tell Wangji to sleep while he sits outside and gets ignored for the whole night and come morning because of it, Lan Xichen doesn’t comment on it. He called this upon himself.

 
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A note about previous chapter:

In the TV drama “The Untamed”, Jin GuangYao says that the sacrificial ritual Mo Xuanyu might have seen at his place was for healing a severely wounded person at the cost of one’s full spiritual energy. So they make it that Wei Wuxian came back as in body and mind but then there’s Wei Ying telling Lan Zhan in the Burial Mounds that the body (Mo Xuanyu’s) was low in spiritual energy when Lan Wangji silently looks at Suibian in Wei Wuxian’s left hand.

These two scenes are quite contradictory and confuse you if you dwell on the matter. So, I took the meander route here and quite a bit of liberty. This is fictional, so I am allowed. 😑

**—the poem is a translation of my original creation and I would very much like to keep it safe and NOT GETTING STOLEN. If you want a verse for yourself, go write your own or search up sites who write for pay. Poetry doesn’t come for free. 😑

Last written: 23 January, 2022—10 February, 2022

Edited: 11 February, 2022

 
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