Raise

Thirty Five

Both have inflicted irreparable damage upon me. The physical scars will disappear in time but not the memories. The emotional scarring those wounds hold, will last a lifetime.
These scratches are just another wound to add to my fractured mind.

I pick up the closest shirt I can find, giving it a quick sniff before throwing it over my head. It's clean enough. Right now, I just need it to cover the marks. Out of sight out of mind right?
Sort of. For now.

Fishing through my chest of drawers, I find some clean  black track pants and step into them quickly, forgoing shoes, I run my hand through my unruly hair and make a fast exit out of my room.

The thoughts inside are consuming me.
I need coffee. Food. To talk to my brother.
And I need to see Alice.

I hastily make my way down to the kitchen, slowing my pace to try to listen in a little on the conversation between the two people I need to talk to the most.

I know when they hear me as their voices get very low and I know I can't stall any more. Breathing out a steadying breath, I step into the kitchen and take in their close position.

The Alpha in me wants to eat Benji's face off for being in such close proximity to my mate. But the brother in me knows that this wolf is honourable above all so I try to calm my wolf the fuck down before I make a fool of myself and slide past the two of them, giving a small nod in greeting as I head straight to the coffee machine and my immediate salvation. Plus, I have zero right to act like that.

I hear Benji get up to leave but I need to talk to him too, so I turn fast, spilling a little of my freshly poured coffee down my almost clean shirt.

"Fuck." I say out loud, two sets of eyes staring me down. I hear a low chuckle from Alice that has me glaring her way.
Shit. Not the best of starts. Classic me. Always a good intention. Always a crap delivery. Clearing my throat and attempting to shift the uncomfortable dynamic, I make a step forward, gesturing towards the table.

"Can you ah, stay a second Alpha, I need to talk to both of you." I formalise my request, so he knows whatever I have to say, it's important.

A quiet grunt is all i get from him but he sits down nonetheless.
Both he and Alice stare unforgivingly my way, a frown settles in across her sweet face and I have the sudden inclination to smooth it out with my finger tips.

I quickly decide against that. She would probably bite them off before she let me touch her.

Damn it. I just need to start talking.
Actual crickets are chirping right now. It's awkward. I don't do well with being the centre of attention and I swear I can feel sweat beading on my neck and forehead. Fuck.
That's it. I'm just diving in.
I cough a little and place my coffee down on the table top;

"Ah, ok. I'm not very good at speaking my mind, especially when I have things to clear up. But I need to speak with both of you. Together now and also separately later." I manage to blurt out, looking between the both of them. Neither has said a word or moved a muscle and my beads of sweat are quickly turning into small rivers, headed down my back.

"Fine Beta. Let's just get on with it." Benji mutters, confusion written all over his face.

I decide to just go for broke. Get the main issues out there, before I talk about the personal stuff. I swallow hard just thinking about it.

"Ok. Yeah. Right. Well, I feel as though we need to talk about Damon and how he is more connected to us than we thought. You know, full disclosure." I say, my eyes flicking towards Alice, cautious of her reaction. I don't think she has any idea just how much all of our pasts are intertwined.