Awkward

Chapter 30

"Chase..."

"It's fine..." he muttered as he stared down at his hands "well, not really." he added with a dry laugh "But as long as you're happy, I'm happy." I flipped around, staring at the ceiling as my eyes started to well up and a stray one fell from my eyes, I felt his thumb wipe it away as he inched closer, as his face hovered over mine, but I averted his gaze 

"Don't say stuff you don't mean." I whispered "You know it's not true."

"What? The whole 'if you're happy, I'm happy' stuff?" he asked and I nodded "But it is." he answered "Loving someone means putting their happiness above yours and if he does, then I'll let you go." he whispered "Even if it took me this long to realise it."

"Just like that?" I scoffed softly "Just rip the bandaid, right? Quick and easy?"

"Now, I never said that." he butted in "It's anything but quick and easy." he added "I said I would wait for you Ava, but I won't spend the rest of my life waiting if you don't want me in it." he said and I stared at him in disbelief

"Is that what you think?" I whispered as I sat up, he followed me "You think I don't want you in my life?"

"You said it yourself." he answered "You said loving me scares you, and I don't want you to be scared to be with me, I want you to be sure, I want you to just... know." he added "I don't know what other way to be in your life other than being together and if that's not it... so be it."

"What are you saying?"

"Goodbye." he whispered

"What about all the stuff you said at the beach?" I whispered "The kiss?"

"It was my last effort to make you be with me again." he whispered "Like I said, I'm not going to spend the rest of my life waiting."

*****

"Do you have everything?" I asked Jase as we put all of our stuff into his car, we got up really early because before going to the airport we went to say goodbye to our parents and get the rest of our stuff, it was really emotional saying goodbye to my parents again

"Yeah, double checked everything." he said and I nodded as I climbed into his car into the backseat beside Chase, we hadn't really said anything after last night, we just fell asleep afterwards and next thing I know my alarm was ringing anf it was time for me to get ready to go, we really didn't have time to say anything else.

"Awesome, let's go." I said, rolling down my window to wave at all the parents that were gathered outside, Ashley had a flight shortly after us so she just came with us and she would spend a little more time with Chase before her flight, we got the the airport pretty quickly, but no one really said anything, it was just small talk.

"I'll go get out tickets, you go check our bags." he said and I nodded as Chase helped me put the bags on the scale to weigh them so they could be checked, they all passed so that was great, we jsut stood around, waiting for Jase to come back and when he did, I knew it was time to say goodbye since our flight was in an hour and those crazy lines would take forever.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Ashley said as she pulled me close and enveloped me in a hug as the boys stepped aside to talk and say their goodbyes "So, did our plan work?" she said with a smirk and I shook my head

"I think it's definitely over between us now." I whispered and she gripped my hand, sending me a soft smile

"Don't say that, don't give up." she said as she winked at me before hugging me again and going to say goodbye to Jase, I breathed a shaky breath as I walked over to Chase and smiled softly at him

"I'm not the best at goodbyes, so I just decided to write you this." I said as I handed him the envelope I had put my letter in, he was about to open it but I grabbed his wrist "Wait 'till I'm gone." I said and he nodded before folding the letter and putting it in his pocket "Promise me it won't be weird on Skype this time?" I laughed lightly and he nodded

"Yeah, sorry." he hissed as he rubbed the back of his neck "I was just trying to get used to dating a girl behind a computer screen." he laughed lightly, trying to liven up the mood. He sighed before pulling me close and wrapping his arms around my waist as I wrapped mine around his neck "Promise me you're happy, otherwise I'll fly over there and..." he whispered into the crook of my neck, I tightened my arms around his neck and sighed deeply into his neck

"I'll try to." I whispered, he pulled away, still keeping his arms on my waist and then moving them to cup my face and kissing my forehead, caresing my cheeks as my arms rested on his chest, he rested his forehead against mine before whispering

"I'll love you forever, Ava Grace." I nodded softly before looking into his eyes, studying him also, so I would remember him, like he said last night "Always."