Magcon Imagines and Preferences

Nash Grier Imagines

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"Nash trust me, I can take care of myself and you know that," I tell him. We have been arguing about Nash's concern for my wellbeing considering my line of work. Detective. It could get dangerous at times, yes, however I was fully prepared in my training sessions to be able to handle anything and Nash knew that.
"I know y/n, but I would just feel better if someone else was there to keep you safe," He explains to me with his hands running up and down my arms. I sighed and while I understand his concern it is getting annoying.
"Nash I have explained to you that I don't need protection. I don't want protection! Are you doubting the fact that I am incapable of protecting myself against criminals?" I shout at him. I knew he wasn't trying to attack me but I was just tired so I was ranting out now and I don't want his protection.
"NO! Y/N I love you and I care about you. I just don't want you getting hurt," He mumbles.
"I understand that, but just trust me?" I ask him as I lift his cast down head so he can look into my eyes. I see this wave of defeat wash over as he nods his head and brings his arms around my waist.
"Okay," He whispers into my hair as I let out a huge sigh.
*1 week later*
Where is HAMILTON NASH GRIER! I am currently storming through our apartment building to get to the apartment quickly to find him. I am ticked off. Really ticked off. I am practically boiling at this point I could blow at any moment. I reach the apartment door and I open it before shutting it.
"NASH GRIER GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" I shout throughout the apartment because I know his friends are over too. I see him coming down the stairs with a slightly confused look on his face. But I know he will soon recognize that he has been caught.
"Y/n? Why are you back from work so early?" He asks confused.
"Oh? You want to know why?" I ask in an overly high pitched innocent voice. "Maybe it's because someone has been following me for the past week and today they just managed to blow my whole case," I say as calmly as I can. His eyes widen and I see guilt come into view.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry I was just-"
"I know what you were trying to do Nash! I understand that! What I'm mad about is the fact that you don't trust me!" I shout and at this moment I know that we have an audience but I don't care.
"You know I trust you," He says trying to calm me down.
"Really? Do I? What did I ask? I asked for you not to do what you just did and to TRUST ME! But clearly you didn't!" I rant out. The thing is I wasn't even all that mad now but I'm still mad that he didn't follow my wishes and he deliberately went against them after he KNEW I didn't want that.
"Y/N that's not the point! I wasn't trying to go against you but I LOVE YOU and I DON'T WANT YOU HURT!" He shouts back.
"No you don't get it. That is the point. And you didn't try you just went through with it AFTER I FREAKING TOLD YOU NOT TO!!" I shout losing myself and slamming the counter. I pushed my hair back. I needed to scream. I was more hurt than angry.
"Don't do that to me. Don't make me feel guilty because I was trying to protect you," he starts saying as he gets closer and closer to me and the look in his eyes are frightening. "How was I supposed to know that it would end like that! So don't blame me!" He shouts now in my face. I'm not afraid of him because I know I could take him but I really don't want to have to.
"Oh. Don't blame you. Oh well please sit down while I explain this," I say to him as I pull up a chair for him and he sits. I have worked many investigations so I know exactly how to do this. "So I shouldn't blame you because how were you supposed to know that it would practically destroy my career. Okay you didn't know that would happen, but you knew it could happen. Also don't make you feel guilty because you were trying to protect me. Trying to protect me by going against my wishes. And maybe your intentions were good but that doesn't change the fact of the outcome. If someone gets shot. Someone had to shoot that person. Whether it was suicide or homicide, someone had to shoot them. Whether or not it was an accident or not or if they weren't trying to hit them they still got shot. The only thing that changes is the punishment, not the outcome. So explain to me Nash, how your intentions do anything for my job?" I explain as I pace in front of him. When I finish I stop right in front of him with my hands on my hips and I am glaring at him. He doesn't say anything and I know I have just beat him. "Exactly," I say before I start to walk away. I don't turn around, not even when I hear Nash shouting my name over and over again and his shouts. The only time I turned around was when something hit my right shoulder fairly hard. I saw that it was a shoe that had been thrown. I turn around to see Nash with only one shoe on and everything is silent now. In his eyes I see everything, the guilt, the sorrow, the hurt. I know he didn't mean to throw the show but intentions don't change outcome. All the guys have now held Nash back and some of them are walking over to me.
"I think you should leave before it gets any worse," Cameron says.
"Don't talk to me like I can't handle myself, it was a weak throw anyways," I say, shouting the last part for Nash to hear. With that I walk out of the apartment and out of the building.
Now I have nowhere to go. I'll manage though. I got in my car and drove over to the O2L house. Well what used to be the O2L house. I had a key and I knew they hadn't sold the place yet but it was still clean so I let myself in and went into Ricky's room because it was the closest. I texted Kian just to let him know I was crashing there.
y/n: btw I might be crashing at the old o2l house for a while
Kian: okay that's fine but can I ask why?
y/n: I had a fight with nash
Kian: oh
I didn't respond after that. I wasn't one into letting people know all about my problems. I hated being seen as someone who always talked about their problems like they were the only people who had it tough.
Thankfully my car had some clothes from times I forgot to bring them in. I brought the few pairs in and I hung them up. I changed into the sweatpants and a large sweatshirt. My gun and badge were set on the night stand. Even though it was only 3pm I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.
When I woke up I could smell coffee which was strange considering I was the only one in the house. I quietly got up and grabbed my gun. I walked quietly toward the kitchen and I waited and listened. I could hear someone walking around. Quickly I came out from behind the corner with my gun pointed out as I shouted "FREEZE!" The only thing I was greeted with was a horrified Kian making coffee and waffles. I automatically lowered my gun. "Sorry, you should at least tell me if you're coming over I could have shot you!" I shout to him as I set it on the kitchen table.
"I did, I texted you, but you must not have seen it," he says as he pours me a cup of coffee.
"Why are you here?" I ask him getting to the point. Being a detective I wanted answers. He lets out a sigh and then he sits down across from me.
"I just wanted to make sure you're okay," He said.
"Well as you can see, I am okay," I say gesturing to my body. "I just naturally look awful."
"When I ask if you're okay I'm not just referring to your body but your emotions too," He says and I can see he is just dying to get me to talk to him, but I hate being seen as the damsel in distress pouring her heart out.
"I'm fine," I say. I've always been a great liar which is helpful for my work, because I know all the signals of a good liar and I can tell when people are lying.
"While you sound convincing I know how this works. Fine never means fine, the scale goes great, good, okay, bad, fine," He says.
"Yeah so I'm fine," I answer to him looking up from my coffee. I see his eyes soften. "Don't look at me like I'm a helpless kitten who needs help. So what I'm not fine, I'm not doing fantastic. I'm not the only person who has emotions, who gets in fights, who gets hurt, I just don't broadcast if everywhere!" I shout. "Sorry," I quickly mumble as I take another sip of my coffee.
"Can you at least tell me what happened?" Kian asks.
"Fine, but no interruptions," I say and he nods. "So maybe a week or two ago Nash and I had an argument about him being too worried and protective of me when it came to my job. He wanted someone to check up on me to make sure I was okay every once in a while and I told him that I could take care of myself and then the argument turned into him wanting to protect me. Which as you know I don't like to feel incapable. I get his protectiveness because he loves me which he explained but I explained that when it comes to my work I want to handle it on my own, it's my job not his. Then I asked him to trust me and he said okay. I thought it was done then until last week I caught someone following me around keeping tabs on me and reporting them back to Nash. Then that person blew my case, I was kicked off the investigation team for bringing citizens into confidential work. I was so angry at Nash. So I confronted him about it at the apartment yesterday and he apologized but I was still mad and an apology wasn't going to solve anything. Basically we got into this huge heated argument about intentions and outcomes. I pretty much just told him in a metaphorical way that he shot me and his intentions couldn't change the fact that I was shot only the punishment. But I walked away and he was screaming for me to come back but at that point I think the guys had held him back and they suggested I leave. So now I'm here telling you all about my it could be better life," I explain. Kian had been listening intently the entire time. "Don't tell anyone I just told you that and if you do I'll deny it all," I quickly say.
"You have my word. Can I ask a few questions though?" He asks. I roll my eyes but nod. "why were you angry at him?" He asked and he seemed genuinely interested in my answer. I knew that he wasn't trying to prove that I was insane for being mad.
"I was angry that he didn't trust me, more hurt than angry, but still mad," I answer as I look at my coffee.
"Have you considered it from his point of view?" He asks. I look up from my coffee.
"Of course I have. I always try to see it from everyone else's shoes it helps me understand more. But understanding isn't the same as consent. I understood his intentions and his actions but I didn't give them consent," I explain to him. I assumed we were done so I got up from the chair and set my empty mug in the sink before walking to the bedroom and getting changed. I wasn't going to waste my life away because of the situation. Yeah I'm hurt I will admit that, but no one else has to know that so for now, the best thing to do is distract myself.
I pull on a white tank top and jeans before leaving Ricky's room. I walked into the kitchen to look for my jacket.
"WHOA! What's on your back?" Kian shouts and I raise my eyebrows. I go to a large mirror and look at my back. Sure enough there is a huge bruise on the spot where Nash threw his shoe. I didn't think he threw it that hard.
"It's nothing," I say.
"Did Nash do that?" Kian asks with wide eyes.
"Technically his shoe did, but I've had way worse and I know he didn't mean to. However doesn't change the fact that the bruise is still there, wounds heal with time, so do relationships," I say.
"You don't seem as mad at him for this as you do for the whole betrayal thing," He says confused.
"Well I know that Nash didn't mean to do this, people do stupid things when they're mad or desperate. Also I've had worse and I know I don't have to worry about Nash being abusive. The betrayal thing though, it's just more personal," I explain quietly. "Betrayal means more than gun shots. Getting hurt on the outside is easy, you can use your fists or practically anything. I know from the many cases I've seen. But to hurt someone's heart you have to have it first. I'm not saying I am okay with abusive relationships but that to me it's harder to hurt someone's heart than it is to leave scars on their skin. I guess that's why. Why I'm more hurt than angry. Nash wasn't trying to hurt my heart but he has the ability to and he did. If I didn't know Nash and he came up to me one day randomly on the street and told me he didn't love me I wouldn't feel anything. My heart wouldn't hurt. Because he doesn't have it. But if he stabbed me, yeah it would hurt. Physical wounds can happen at any time and always hurt. Blows to the heart happen when you least expect it and by the people you love the most," I say and Kian's just kind of standing there with shock written on his face. "Yeah I have feelings too, I'm not just a brick wall. I can be sentimental and emotional. But that's enough for today do you know where my jacket is?" I ask. He points to the coat rack by the stairs and I smile as a thanks.
*1 week later*
Kian has been staying at the O2L house with me because he likes keeping me company. Throughout the whole week we didn't talk anymore about Nash because he knows I didn't want to talk about it. The bruise was practically gone. I got up and made my way into the kitchen to find Kian cooking as usual. Now before you get any suspicions no I don't like Kian, never did like him that way. He never liked me that way either. We established we weren't each other's type when we first met.
"Morning," He says.
"Really I don't understand why you wake up every morning so early because I know you hate doing that," I tell him as I take my fruit and hash browns. "I mean I'm not all that important. You don't have to treat me like this Kian, you know me," I tell him.
"Y/n, you know I love you but one thing I can't stand about you is that you don't give yourself credit," He says out of the blue.
"Credit what are you talking about?" I question.
"You hardly ever talk about your feelings because you don't think their important enough to anyone and you can't accept when someone does something nice for you," He says.
"Okay first of all I just don't want to be seen as weak because I confess that I am actually hurt, because once I say that everyone automatically tries to hug me or make me feel better," I explain.
"What is so bad about that? What's so bad about people actually caring about you?" He asks.
"I just don't like being belittled," I answer. "I don't like being seen as less than I am," I explain.
"Y/n I know you are not that way. I don't pity you. I'm your friend and I'm not going to make you feel bad about your life. I'm your friend and I don't want to see you that way but to do that I have to know what you're feeling," He says.
"It's just for most of my life I was always looked down upon. No one would take me seriously because I was a girl and they wouldn't see me as important. With my job I feel important but that's kind of irrelevant now but that's not the point-"
"Actually it kind of is, throughout this entire week, not once did you complain about not having your job," Kian comments.
"Frankly I forgot about my job," I confess.
"Why?"
"My job is important to me, yes, but since I got thrown off the case I'm not expected there and it's not my main focus. My job didn't do anything to me. Yeah I got kicked off the case but I'm over that..."
"Why are you over it?"
"Because it wasn't an internal wound. It was an external wound that healed," I explain. I never really liked to say anything directly when it came to my feelings.
"But Nash caused it all," He says.
"I know, I haven't forgotten that. But it's okay," I say quietly with a small smile.
"You forgave him," Kian says with a smile.
"No, he was already forgiven. Like I explained before with intentions although his intentions don't affect the outcome they affect the punishment. I had already forgiven him before I even walked out that door, I was just mad," I explain.
"You still love him," He says with a small smirk causing me to laugh.
"Yeah," I answer as I grab all my clothes and shove them in a bag as we exit the house. I stuff them into my car.
I pulled out my phone to see I had 2 new text messages
Cameron: please come back he's a disaster
Johnson: I know he reacted badly but I've never seen him so distraught
These have been happening for a few days ago and I haven't responded to any of them.
"So you're going back?" Kian asks from behind me.
"Yeah," I say as I shut the trunk.
"You actually know a lot more than you let on, you just haven't mastered the whole feelings thing yet, but you'll get there," He says with a smile. "Good luck," He says as he gives me a hug.
"Thanks," I say as I return his hug then get into my car and head off to the apartment.
I was a bit nervous on my way over to the apartment, not quite sure why but I would soon find out.
I parked my car out in the front and headed up the stairs to the apartment. Before the door I still had my key so I let myself in. I didn't expect all the guys to be there so when they saw me they all jumped out of their seats but I quickly pulled out my gun. It was empty but they didn't need to know that.
"if you make a sound I will shoot," I warn them and they instantly back down. I put the gun back in my pants and then I walk up the stairs to our room. I knocked on the door.
"Go away Cameron," Nash shouted, his voice cracking in the process. I tried the door and it was locked. I rolled my eyes and tried once more knocking. "I SAID GO AWAY!" Nash shouted. I let out a sigh. I didn't want to have to do this. I stepped back a bit and with enough momentum I kicked the door down. Well more kicked it open but down sounds more dramatic. "What the heck!" I hear Nash scream as he sits up from his bed but when his eyes land on me they widen and he is at a loss for words.
"Sorry about that," I say referring to the door.
"I thought you left," He mumbles.
"I did, pretty sure you saw me walk out the door."
"Then why did you come back?"
"Because I live here and believe it or not I do still love you," I tell him like it's the most obvious thing in the world. At hearing me say that Nash stands up.
"Wait you still love me?" He asks.
"Of course," I say.
"Then why did you leave?" He asks. That hurt.
"I left because I was mad, not because I stopped loving you," I said with more emotion dripping from my voice than I anticipated. "I still love you Nash Grier and I already forgave you," I explain. Nash rushed forward and wrapped me in his arms picking me up. I finally let out a sigh of relief. The weight on my shoulders was gone. Everything felt better when I was in Nash's arms. I missed him. I wrapped my arms around him.
"Oh man, y/n I missed you so much," He mumbles into my hair. "I thought I lost you, I thought I would never see you again," He says. I bring my head out of his chest and hold his face in my hands.
"You can't get rid of me that easily. I love you Hamilton Nash Grier. I love you," I said, whispering the last words. With that his lips crashed onto mine and all that frustration, tension, anger, love, ache, all that emotion was felt in that kiss.
"I love you," Nash said against my lips. "I really love you. I can't even explain how much I love you and y/n, I'm still sorry," He says and I smile.
"I know you're sorry. I forgave you already," I tell him. "I forgave you before I walked out the door, because I love you." He smiled.
"When you walked out the door....Man, the person I used to be left too," He says with teary eyes.
"Nash I need to know that you will be okay. Because one day I will die and I won't be here. I need to know that I'm not your only source of happiness. Love isn't about making your happiness someone else's responsibility. Romantic love is about finding your team mate. When you can rely on yourself to be happy, and still find the person who makes the good days great, and the dark days brighter," I tell him. I don't want to die and watch Nash throw his life away.
"I promise y/n you have my word and this time I won't break it," He says and I smile.