Love lust // Thomas Shelby

1 ~ Emotional deterioration

warrickshire - 1924

Thomas can vividly... almost physically... see his wife's lifeless body, chest ceased fallen, hair splayed across his lap as he ran his calloused hand through the blonde locks in a bid to comfort her, in that moment....bliss....she looked peaceful, serene as the ballroom's candles shone warm, comforting hues upon her soft cheeks.
He cried, not since the war has he truly cried, has he truly let himself feel, not just figuratively but as an act of self-doubt he refused to feel, in fear the memories of the war would rear its ugly head and smite him where he stood... so he would be undemonstrative to everyone around him...until grace...

They struggled at first, grace's previous untrustworthy acts would be the root of all arguments, Tommy knew he loved her, he felt it, how his heart would run faster than any racehorse, or Bentley he had ever seen or owned, his palms would become sweaty, his smile would show more, laughter would spread.
she was effective at cracking his cold, exterior, she knew how to comfort him without even trying, her presence alone shone a captivating light on the dark cell that was his mind.

Then there was Charlie, Thomas' Shelby heir, born out of wedlock wouldn't cause any issues for the boy who held the future of the Shelby enterprise in his palm, his father would make sure of that.
The perfect mirror image of his mother, Thomas knew that the grief of grace's death would be even more unbearable due to living with a duplicate of the very woman he lost, in the form of his son... little Charlie. Only two at the time of his mothers passing had little knowledge of life itself all the boy knew was his mother wouldn't be there to tuck him in at night, sing his favourite nursery rhymes in her soft, sweet voice, no longer did she chase him around his room, or give him his favourite food, all he knew was that she simply wasn't there anymore...

Thomas could feel the blood of his wife seep from the wound in her chest, into his hands, through his trousers, effectively bathing him, as it made its way onto the dark oak wood flooring, forever staining its molecules, no matter how hard the maids scrubbed, Thomas would always see the blood...

As he came to his senses he opened his eyes, he realised the cigarette he had lit before his mind went wandering, had burned down to the nub, he stared at the reminisce of cigarette in his hand, and recognised the similarities between himself and the nub, burnt out, withering away into nothingness as the last pieces of what they once were, began disappearing into the cold, crisp morning air, he watched almost mesmerised as ash from the metaphor of his soul fell onto the ground disappearing into the frosted, dark green grass. Looking up he notices a figure coming forth towards him, on any other day, well any day previous to his wife being killed that is, he would be on high alert, aware of his surroundings as he was always prepared to fight off his friend death...

However today was not that day, and he felt those days of being hyper-attentive were far behind him, instead of fighting his friend death, he welcomed him...

"...Tommy..." a quizzical brow was raised to the women he called his aunt. Realising it was far too early for her to even be forming a sentence let alone dressed and out of her bed, meeting him unexpectedly at his wife's grave, therefore concluding that this meeting was of some importance, well important to her at least he couldn't give a rats arse what news his aunt brought him.

"What pol"

"What're you doin up this bloody early Tommy, it's freezing, and quite frankly I'd rather still be in bed-" Polly spoke before Thomas had, had enough of her rambling and cut her off.

He pulled out a cigarette from his case and placed the stick between his lips, before not allowing Polly to finish her sentence as his voice formed the longest sentence it has since his wife's funeral, even that was a job and a half.
"Get to the point pol"

"Right, I've just had a very interesting phone call with a very interesting person" Polly knew she had to pique Thomas' interest, she needed him on board with this situation, for she feared the Shelbys as she knew them would become extinct without the help of her nephew, not that she dare admit that to him, the cockiness will cause his head to explode, and she liked her dress... Mirroring Thomas she pulled a cigarette out and lit the end before taking a drag.

"And why do I give a shit who you talk to eh pol?" Thomas was losing his patience, the smell of burning tobacco filled his nose as he eyed up his aunt sceptically.

"For fuck sake Thomas let me finish-" he waved the hand holding his cigarette at her to continue "I've had word that a certain someone has been spotted in small heath-"

Still as unbothered before he didn't even acknowledge the words his aunt had said before speaking again "yeah? Really pol? Loads of people in small heath..." Polly simply rolled her eyes at his attempt at trying to sway her sway from the conversation altogether, but she needed him, again a bit of a blow to her pride but never matter, she'll have to swallow that for now.

"Before I even give you a name, promise me you'll help... Tommy without you, I fear for this family, our biggest threat is yet to come..... but don't be mistaken..... coming it is..." His brows furrowed at her obvious agitation, Polly was never scared he nodded, a silent promise made, when the last one he gave was to protect his wife. His attention shifted from whatever plagued his mind before to, the need to prove he can keep his word, Thomas wasn't a man of many morals but he held a few, and his word was above them all, Thomas Shelby's word was absolute.

Singing deeply the warm breath left her ruby painted lips and entered the cold atmosphere creating a mystic pattern of fog, she realised it was now or never, she rather it be never yet there she is, standing at a graveside with her grief-stricken nephew who barely looked like he could tie his shoelace.

"Emlyn, Emlyn Burnett.."

His eyes widened ever so slightly for a second, blink and you'd miss it, he was suddenly realising the severity of what has happened, though nothing had actually happened all he knew was that she was spotted in small heath, but that was enough...
a dark figure from his past came back and for what reason he didn't know, so he racked his brain for a moment, the strategies, the hyper-attentiveness, the planning, methods, ideas, reasonings all began flying through his mind at the speed of a bullet as they bounced off the walls of his brain, on the outside he hadn't changed his demeanour at all, the stony, façade he had built sat upon his face, however on the inside... on the inside a bomb had just gone off...
And went bang...

A/n

Lovely readers!!!!

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of 'love lust' my adaptation of the show will hopefully leave you wanting more, I'm thinking maybe a short sequel, this book won't necessarily belong in the number of chapters but the length will be within the chapters themselves, I aim to write over 1,000+ words per chapter so ya'll in for a ride 🤣

Please check out my other pics 'a serpent in the dusk' it's a Draco Malfoy fanfic with a few more chapters written 🥰

As always any comments, questions, enquires please feel free to write ✍🏼

Love ya'll 🖤🖤