Double Booked | 509 Series Book 1

Chapter 47

"Fran, it's ok," Luna comforts, holding me to her chest.

"I am so stupid," I cry burying my face into her so no sees me crying.

"Whatever happened you aren't stupid Fran," Parker says rubbing my knee which is the only thing he can reach from the front seat.

"Yes I am," I choke. I am so mad at myself for letting myself believe such childish fantasies, for letting myself get distracted when I should be worrying about finals in 6 days, for crying over something so pointless. So what Ryder doesn't actually love me, what is there to cry about honestly. It isn't like we were together.

"Fran, you're in a car full of people who would move mountains for you because we all fucking care about you, please just tell us what is wrong." Everyone looks at Tristian, stunned he spoke. Tristian is the quiet type he says very few words except to Luna and his roommate Charles. Sometimes I go days without hearing Tristian talk even though he spends a lot of time in our apartment.

I finally cave and with a small voice tell them, "He told me he loved me and then didn't remember saying it this morning."

"He, as in Ryder?" Maya asks just to make sure.

"Yeah," I nod.

"That asshole!" Parker yells, pulling out his phone presumably to text Bray about Ryder.

"No," I protest. "He isn't an asshole Parker. He was on painkillers and had a really traumatic experience. I can't hold this against him. I just need some space from him for a little bit. I got my hopes up thinking that we both felt the same way toward each other and turns out we don't actually."

"You couldn't say a bad word about that boy if you wanted to." Luna shakes her head but with a small smile. Maya while I was talking slipped my phone from my pocket and now places it back in my lap.

"He did nothing wrong," I sniffle.

"He is a fucking idiot," Maya argues. "How can he not love you? Actually, I know he loves you. It is clear as day on his face he does but how has he not realized he loves you."

"It is complicated," I tell Maya thinking about how Ryder has never been told he is loved by anyone. I wanted to be that first person, but I guess I got wrapped up in my own fantasies.

The rest of the drive home is quiet. About 2 hours in, Parker puts on music but he tries really hard to not play any song related to love, which is really hard and makes the vibes in the car super weird. We are listening to party music in silence while I keep trying not to cry more.

When we finally get home I drag my bag into the apartment and curl up in bed. Luna turns my phone off which has been blowing up for hours, ever since Maya blocked Ryder for me. I felt bad at first that she blocked him but I realize I need to avoid him for a while and let these feelings go away before I can hang out with him again. I know that is unfair to him but he is supposed to be on bedrest, so I wouldn't have seen him much this week anyways.

"I brought you a brownie Franny," Maya says, presenting me with a warm brownie on a napkin.

When one of us is sad we all have our different ways to try and comfort one another. Luna usually gets violent and starts making threats. It is funny to listen to her rant about all her weird torture ideas against whoever hurt us. Parker is the cuddler of the house. He will lay with you and rub your back and just make sure you never feel alone while you are sad. Maya we call the mom because as soon as someones sad she runs right to the kitchen. Parker's last break up I swear our house gained 5 lbs from all the comfort food she made for him.

"Thank you My." I grab the brownie and take a small bite of it. Of course all I can think about is Ryder and him basically tackling me in the middle of Yost for one of Maya's brownies.