Someone Worth Staying For (Hosie)

Chapter 21

Hope's P.O.V.
    After a while of running and calming myself down, I decided to stop by the cemetery to see mom again. I knew if she was still here, she'd know what to say about the whole Josie thing. I quickly get dressed again and then used my vampire speed to get there quicker. When I made it, I sit in front of her grave and sighed softly. "Hey mom. I wish you were here." I said and looked down at the ground. "So I finally admitted my feelings for this girl. And she feels the same way, but the problem is.. she has a girlfriend already." I rolled my eyes at even the thought of Finch. "She has to make a decision and I'm afraid she will choose her, but at the same time, I'm afraid she'll choose me. Everyone I care about always leave me and I don't know if I'd be able to handle losing her like I lost you and dad and uncle Elijah. She's already been through a lot because of me, I can't let her get hurt anymore. Also now that I know, I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself around her, with these new heightened emotions and holding those certain emotions in for so long." I could feel the tears in my eyes as I'm talking to her. "That's not all I'm dealing with." I said and looked at her gravestone. "Malivore has taken control of Landon again and even though I've admitted my feelings for Josie, I do still love him. We've tried everything and I know that the only way to stop him now, is to kill him." I took a deep breath. "Which means I have to kill Landon. I don't know if I will be able to do it or how I will be able to handle myself afterwards. I know he would want me to do it to keep everyone safe but I don't know if I can handle it. I love him and I want him to be happy and healthy. I never imagined he'd be losing his life to me." I could feel the tears falling now. "I don't want to hurt him mom but if I don't, others will be hurt. I also know that I can't handle losing someone again." I place my hand on her stone. "I know that if you were here right now, you would probably tell me that you know I will make the right decision, with both Josie and Malivore. I just.." I stop for a moment. "I just wish I could hear your voice. Feel your arms around me and let you comfort me again. I need my mom." I managed to say in between my sobs. I miss you mom. I really do.

    After I finish talking to mom and make sure I don't look like I was crying, I head back to the house. When I walk inside, I hear Lizzie yell for me. "Hope! Finally you're back! I've been looking for you!" She said and walked over to me. "Why were you looking for me?" I asked her and she grabbed my hand and pulled me back outside, not answering my question. "What the hell?" I said and she turned to look at me. "I need to talk to you." "About what?" She grabs my hand and makes me sit down next to her on the steps of the porch. "First I wanted to say, that even though I was mad at you for turning my sister into a heretic, thank you for saving her." "You know I never wanted to do that." "I know. But if you hadn't, we all would've lost her." Lizzie looked down at the ground. "I would never let that happen." I said, placing my hand on her shoulder to comfort her. "I know you wouldn't. Is there any special reason why?" Her sad tone, instantly turned into her normal cocky tone she used when she knew something or thinks she knows something. "What are you talking about? I did it because Josie is..well Josie." How would she even know? "Come on Hope. Tell meee." She said poking my shoulder and had a little smirk on her face. "Tell you what?" I asked, trying to act like I didn't know what she was getting at. "Damn it Hope! It's so obvious, why won't you just tell me that you have feelings for Josie?!" She said, frustrated that I didn't tell her. "Be quiet!" I said and looked around to see if anyone had heard and came to see what Lizzie was yelling at. "So it's true?" She asked and looked at me, obviously happy that she was right. "I never said that you were." "But you also never said I wasn't. You didn't fight me on it or try to disagree." She knows. What's the use of hiding it anymore? "Okay okay, fine. I do, but keep it quiet. No one needs to know right now." "By no one you mean my dad and Finch right?" She asked and I rolled my eyes at her name. "Don't ever say her name again." "Jeez, no need to go all protective and jealous tribrid right now." She said, making me wonder if my eyes just glowed at the thought of.. her. "Don't worry, your secret safe with me." She said and I sighed softly. "Good because your dad would probably have something to say about it and I'm not ready to hear it." Lizzie knew how her dad could piss me off so easily, even if I knew he meant well. "So she chose you huh? When does she plan on telling Fi-" I stopped her from continuing, not just because I didn't want to hear her name again but because she was wrong. "Actually she hasn't chosen yet. She knows that no matter what she's done, it was because of Malivore." "Of course my sister is being an idiot. How can she pick her when she wanted to get rid of you?!" "One, your sister is not an idiot." I said getting pissed that she would call her that. "Two, she was dating her first so she has to decide and we both know Josie doesn't want to hurt either one of us but will have to." I said and looked down at my hands. "And I will respect her decision no matter what. And so will you." I looked up at Lizzie, making sure she would agree to respect Josie's decision, no matter what her opinion is. "But she-" I shook my head at her. "Alright fine. I'll respect her decision, no matter what." "Good." I said and sighed softly. "You want her to choose you don't you?" Is that really what she asks? "Of course I do because I want to give us a chance and see if we can make it." "But? I hear a but in there." "But, there's the thing with whoever I care for, always gets hurt or dies and Josie has already been through both because of me." "What happened to her was not your fault." "But it was and I know you blame me a bit." "I don't Hope. You did what you could. I mean you traded your life for hers. That shows you tried." "Not hard enough." Lizzie slapped my arm. "What the hell?" "Stop beating yourself up over it or I will beat you up myself." She said making me roll my eyes. "Like you can beat me up." "I can definitely try." She said and smiled at me. "You are way too stubborn." "And who am I talking to? The queen of stubbornness." Did she just call me stubborn? "I am not stubborn!" "Oh yeah? Whenever someone had an idea for fighting a monster, you got stubborn and went with your idea instead, so everyone would be safe. And yes they usually work but you almost get yourself killed a lot of those times." She's not wrong, I guess.