The List » Zarry (M-Preg) ✔

20: Like Triange

Harry peeked out the window at his son. He was making more snowballs.

"And did you say that before you left?"

"I did. Maybe not in the kindest way but who cares? They're trying to force me to go there against my will. But I'm an adult. I can choose whether or not I want to go to therapy."

"True."

"So I'm not. And that's the end of that. That means don't try to convince me, Harry."

"I won't. But also just know it doesn't make me happy that you run to me when your parents upset you. At the end of the day, I'm not your parents. They are. And you should talk to them. You may find therapy isn't as bad as you think."

"Yeah right. Whatever you say. But I came to you for a reason and it's not to be lectured on getting therapy. I can get that at home. Let's talk about something else. What about you and Zayn? All I know is he gave you these roses- which are finally starting to wilt by the way- and I had to pry that out of you. What's really happened between you two since then? Don't tell me you blew it."

Harry smiled.

"No. I did not blow it. It's just a lot has happened since then."

"Like what? Did you get together?"

"No. But... there is something I do want to tell you. And the only reason I want to tell you is because you know about me and Liam already."

"That you're fucking, yes."

"Stop being vulgar in my house."

"Oh right. My bad. That you're canoodling and humping."

Harry scoffed.

"Anyway, even before the day I got those roses, I just couldn't stop thinking about him. And I still can't. I wake up and I think about him. I eat and I think about him. I write and I think about him. And I lie down to sleep and I think about him."

"Sounds like you're still in love."

"Love. Not in love. That's the difference. But that's the thing, even if I do still love him, he just started coming around again. He probably doesn't even have the same feelings anymore. But that doesn't mean he's not always on my mind in some weird way."

"Trust me. It ain't weird. And you're talking like Zayn is some random man you just met. But he's not. He's Benjamin's father. Which means you've been intimate with him before."

"Yeah, so?"

"So you're probably having old feelings come up. Except they're not old. They're new again. And they're a continuation of what you already felt once before."

Harry groaned.

"I know it isn't appropriate. But when I see the way he deals with Benjamin and how he just fits right in, I can't help but think about that. He's such a good Papa to Benny and Benny loves him."

"So what's the problem then? Because that all sounds like good things to me."

"The problem is... I don't think he wants me as bad I think I want him."

"How do you know? These red roses say more than friendship to me."

"Because he had the opportunity to kiss me a few days ago and he declined. I mean he was right there. I could feel his breath on my lips. But it didn't matter. He had no trouble stopping himself even though he already told me he's single and that I was the best thing to ever happen to him."

"Oh. Sorry. So what are you going to do? It's not like he won't be around for Benjamin. You're gonna have to see him."

He opened a package of sliced bread and began to remove slices of bread.