Walking Among Spirits (Levi x Reader) [REWRITE]

[ Chapter 11 ]

In your hands, you look down at the final piece you have of your late brother. The last letter you received from him about a month ago, regarding his wedding. Glazing your eyes over his neat penmanship for the twentieth time that day, you struggle to read his words on the paper, dried tear droplets sprinkled on the page.

"Y/n,

I miss you a lot, sis. I hope I get to run into you again, sometime soon. Keep working hard and making us proud.

As for the wedding planning, I think we've decided on eloping in the next two months. I would love if your new friends would come too and have a normal day for once. You all deserve it, (nickname). I'll send official invitations out soon. Hopefully, I'll see you then.

Love you, sis.

~Captain T"

The corners of your lips twitch into a sad grin as you read the word "Captain," eventually turning back into a frown as complete sadness laps over you. He did not even have the title for a full year, maybe eight months at most. He deserved so much more. He had always wanted to be a Commander as his long term goal but a Captain was good enough for him. He never asked for much, always being appreciative for what he had. For that reason, it makes you wish he wanted more out of life since he deserved it so badly. More than you. He's never had selfish tendencies but you wished he did at least once. After putting up with so much, the least he could do for himself was think of himself, for once.

The very last letter you wrote to him was after receiving the one from him in your hands. You had promised to be there for him, no matter what. As his little sister, you would be so overjoyed and proud of him. You would be honored to be there. You would see him so happy, on that day. As a young kid, you were always fantasizing about his future wedding more than your own, with your best friend, Katsumi.

Miyuki...

You can't begin to imagine the incredible pain that girl is feeling, knowing that the love of her life is gone, never to be seen again. The only part of this, is that you're not facing it alone. Everyone is grieving for him. However, due to your role in the Military, it feels as if you have to deal with it without the support of your loved ones. You can't leave whenever you want to, to visit home. Your father and other brother have to be so heartbroken as well but your mind keeps circling back to Miyuki. They had spent the last few years together and not that long ago, they were officially planning on being together for the rest of their lives.

Carefully folding the letter back up with shaking hands, you place it on the end of your bed, curling back up, afterward. Resting your chin against your knees, legs against your chest, you stare at the sheet of paper, it staring right back at you. You wonder if he ever got around to making invitations. Whether they were somewhere in a desk drawer, ready to be mailed or if he never got started on them yet. Maybe they were already in transit? If its the latter, you don't even know if you would have the capability to open it. It would crush you like no other. You can't stop the feeling of regret, wondering if you will ever feel okay again. How long is this pain going to last? When will it numb and not distress you like today again? Will this ultimately drive you to go insane?

With too many unanswered questions, you begin to feel sick again, quickly unfolding yourself to push open your window and get a breath of fresh evening air. Taking in a deep breath, you hold it in for a moment before exhaling, unable to stop the small cry that manages to sneak out as well. Clasping a hand over your mouth to muffle the sorrow, you lean your head against the side of the window, tears wanting to pour but you're too dehydrated at this point. You've spent the entire day like this and your body can't take it anymore but it still wants to try. Try to make you better or try to make you more guilty. You can't seem to figure it out, just yet.