Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 64

Lan Wangji was relieved when upon knocking on the door of his brother's study, Lan Xichen immediately invited him inside. He had to ask his brother whether he had seen Wei Ying. Lan Wangji had just passed by the boy's room and despite his better judgement, he had carefully peaked inside to assure himself that everything was alright and that Wei Ying was resting. However, he had found the room empty and the bed perfectly made so it did not even look like anyone had been sleeping in it in the first place.

It had been right at that moment that a servant boy came to find him, relaying a message that Lan Xichen had been looking for him. He had assumed that his brother would perhaps be the only person who would know where the boy had gone to and so he had hurried to his study without any delay.

Lan Wangji was worried for Wei Ying since the other could have still been running a fever and thought that he had some kind of duties to perform. Even though they had already explained things several times, Lan Wangji was not fully convinced that Wei Ying had understood. Or let himself understand was perhaps a better description of reality. For he suspected that the boy actually listened to them very attentively but would not let himself believe them for some reason.

Had they perhaps not provided enough reassurances? That could not be the case surely. They had told him time and time again that he was safe in the Cloud Recesses Manor. And Wei Ying seemed to have believed this at least since he had stopped acting terrified all of the time, especially when he had been reassured again and again. However, he still did not believe their words, not completely.

Lan Wangji was asking himself why that was. Even though, deep down, he could already tell. Wei Ying must not have had many good experiences in his life, if any at all. It was probable that he was trying to protect himself in this way and did not trust their words. He must have been thinking that it would not hurt as much if he did not believe them should they betray him. Lan Wangji wanted to help the boy get rid of this line of thinking, no matter how hard it would be.

For that though, he would have to find Wei Ying first. And then keep a close eye on him so he would not disappear again and run into any trouble or force himself to do something he did not like. That was why a great weight of worries and panic was now lifted from Lan Wangji's shoulders as he entered his brother's study and saw that Wei Ying was sitting inside. However, that relief was short lived.

The boy did not look calm at all, in fact, he seemed to be panicking. Lan Wangji could not tell the reason for his apparent distress. He only knew that he did not like seeing Wei Ying like this. He completely forgot that Lan Xichen was in the room and that he should greet him properly and he was already hurrying to kneel by Wei Ying's side. This had happened way too many times today and he knew by now what would most probably help.

Gently, but slowly in order not to cause any more distressed to the already panicking and crying boy, Lan Wangji took his hands between his own and started running soothing circles onto their backs. He looked Wei Ying all over, trying to see what exactly was wrong. He knew he was acting silly, of course he would not be able to see anything like this, perhaps aside for external injuries which he was sure Wei Ying did not have. But he still did it, if for nothing else, then at least to assess his general state.

Wei Ying was visibly trembling, that was nothing too new. What worried Lan Wangji way more was the fact that he had apparently trouble breathing and was gasping for breath in between what looked like silent choked down sobs. There were tears all over his face and more and more were still flowing down his cheeks and dripping onto his lap. The boy looked extremely pitiful and broken.

"Wei Ying?" called Lan Wangji quietly, hoping for a miracle. He was unsure of what he could do in this kind of situation. It was clear that the boy needed soothing but if even Lan Xichen was at a loss, then Lan Wangji would not be able to do a better job. Would they just have to wait for Wei Ying to calm down on his own and suffer for longer?

That was not an option, at least not in Lan Wangji's eyes. He tried calling the boy's name again to attract his attention and to snap him out from his trance. It did not work, so Lan Wangji repeated it several more time, each one in a more and more worried tone and with increasing in urgency.

Still, nothing happened, it looked like Wei Ying was too far gone into the world of his own mind. It was now more than evident that he had started overthinking something Lan Xichen had told him and that his thoughts were running in a completely wrong direction. Surely Lan Xichen would not tell him anything harmful, so it must have been just Wei Ying's past that was making him act in this way. They had to somehow snap him out of this, and the sooner the better.

When Lan Wangji's desperate begging for Wei Ying to look at him and calling his name so many times fruitlessly did not bear any results, he was at his wits' end. It was then that he remembered Lan Xichen was still in the room, watching his efforts with worried and say eyes. Lan Wangji now turned to his brother and begged him for help: "Brother..." He had to understand what exactly had triggered the state Wei Ying was in. Perhaps then, he would be able to see a way to snap him out of it.

Lan Xichen's eyes immediately found his own. There was something akin to regret inside of them and despite being out of his mind because of his worries for Wei Ying, Lan Wangji had a great urge to reassure his brother, he had certainly only tried to do his very best and help the boy.

"Not brother's fault," he said in the end and was happy to see that Lan Xichen immediately relaxed and his usual gentle smile was back. Although his eyes were still worried and quickly went back to look at the boy.

"Wangji, I found Young Master Wei going to the dogs' kennels and I stopped him and brought him here since it did not seem like he wanted to go there at all. I explained to him again why we have brought him here. I told him he should be your companion, your equal and your friend. I do not know what he had understood behind those words. He had even looked quite happy for a minute, but after that..."

Lan Wangji understood even without Lan Xichen having to finish the sentence. After being happy, Wei Ying apparently started thinking something negative and he became like this. Lan Wangji had no idea what was running through the boy's head but he still decided that he would try giving it his best shot. He would sooth Wei Ying's greatest worries as Jiang Yanli had explained them. And the biggest ones of them all were not being safe around his so thought masters and having to go back to the Lotus Pier Manor where he could be shipped to another household, the Nightless Manor, immediately.

He could not tell what had possessed him to hug the boy, he just did. He remembered how good and safe it had felt whenever his mother had hugged him tight like this so many years ago. He just wanted to provide the same sense of security for Wei Ying.

Before he could double check with himself or start assessing the boy's reaction to this sudden intrusion into his personal space, he gulped down all his nervousness and he whispered right into the other's ear: "Wei Ying is safe here. I will always stay by your side. No one will hurt you here. You do not have to go back to the Lotus Pier Manor if you do not want to."

He held his breath and was waiting for Wei Ying's reaction, worried that the worst would come to be but hoping for the best to happen. His nerves were stretched thin and every fraction of a second felt like it lasted at least several decades.