Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 43

"And tito was there to cheer me up. He said you deserve to be happy. Ibigay na raw namin 'yon sa 'yo. H'wag na raw kaming manggulo dahil kapag nasa sa amin ka, nasasaktan ka..." He shifted his gaze to me. "Elvira... nasasaktan ba kita? Nasasaktan ka ba sa piling ko?"

Tears started to form at the side of my eyes. Paulit-ulit akong umiling upang makumbinse siya.

When it really comes to me, Zavion is so hard on himself. He thought he's only giving me the bare minimum of himself... but little did he know, everything is too much... too much, to the point that I don't even know how to pay him back.

I look at him. His amber eyes can't even throw a glance at me. Nakayuko siya ngunit hawak ang aking kamay. Marahan niyang hinahaplos ito. I took a deep breath and silently whisper to air while looking at him.

God, please let him know that he's always enough for me. Please let him be at peace... and please let him be assured and be confident that I love him.

"I realized that when I saw you crying that night. Hindi ko makakalimutan 'yong tunog ng hikbi mong 'yon. I was sleeping beside you... and you're trying your best not to make a noise. You can't lie to me, Elvi. I'm connected to you. Kapag nasasaktan ka, kahit nakapikit ako, ramdam ko rin 'yong sakit dito," he pointed his chest. "At kapag binibisita kita noon, eyes don't lie. Pagod ang mga mata mo... at alam kong nawawalan ka na ng gana mabuhay noon."

"I really want to make you happy..." He cupped my face. "I really want to hear your laughs and see your lovely smiles."

"I'm happy with you, Zav," I said sincerely. "You are the reason why it's no longer painful to live. You made me alive. You gave me reasons to live."

Umawang ang kan'yang labi. Hindi agad siya nakapagsalita matapos marinig ang aking sinabi.

"Zavion, mahal na mahal kita. Hindi ko kayang magmahal kung hindi ikaw... at 'di ako magiging masaya kung hindi ikaw ang kasama ko," I said in a low tone. "Is that an enough assurance for you?"

Para akong hinihigop ng kan'yang mga mata. His lips curved into a smirk. He shook his head and licked lower lip.

"Hindi pa rin," he said in his raspy voice. "Kasal, Elvira..." He said, whispering. "Magpakasal ka sa akin. A wedding is the enough assurance for me..."

My cheeks burnt. I averted my gaze and breathe heavily. Napatingin ako sa iba naming kasama na kumakain habang nagkukuwentuhan. Each of us has our own business. Elaine, reading a book while Adiel is poking him. Margarette and Kazuo are being sweet to each other. Napanguso ako at muling ibinalik ang aking atensyon kay Zavion na nakataas pa rin ang kilay sa akin, hinihintay ang aking sagot.

"Para ka namang gago. Binibigla mo ako,"

Is he proposing?

Gusto ko naman... pero hindi ba ako matatawag na marupok kung bibigay agad ako sa kan'ya?

Natawa ako sa aking iniisip. Nakikita ko ang mapang-asar na tingin ni Kazuo sa akin. If he found out about this, surely... he will tease me all day.

"E... di... sige. Kung 'yan ang magpapagaan ng loob mo..." I bit my lower lip. Uminit ang aking pisngi at 'di ako makatingin sa kan'ya.

I heard him laughing. Mas lalo kong naramdaman ang pamumula ng aking pisngi. Hinampas ko ang kan'yang braso upang matigil siya.