Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 36

Thirty-six.

Don't keep it all in your head. Talk to someone and try to express yourself. I know it's been heavy but you are not alone in this battle, darling. You're doing a great progress. I know it's not that easy to move forward, but look at yourself, look how far you've come. I'm proud of you.

I smiled genuinely while looking at myself through the mirror. I memorized each details of me, including the worst parts. Dahan-dahan kong pinausdos ang aking mga daliri sa salamin habang nakatitig sa aking sarili. Unti-unting nanumbalik sa akin ang aking mga masalimuot na nakaraan. Gamit ang salamin, nakita ko ang aking iba't-ibang kaanyuan sa mga nagdaang panahon. It doesn't hurt anymore. I feel... happy.

I am tracing the whole me through my mirror. My heart is filled with so much happiness. After years of suffering, I can now say that I'm proud of myself. After years of being vulnerable and damaged, I can now say that I've regained myself. Pagkatapos ng ilang taon... nabuo ko na muli ang aking sarili.

I was lost for the past years... but now, I found my way back home. I found my way back to myself.

It's the best feeling ever.

"You are what?! You're engaged?!" My eyes widened in shock. I shake Elaine's shoulders to seek answers from her.

She took my hand on her shoulder and tried to calm me down. The smile on his lips was indelible. She seems excited while watching me getting hype because of what she had announced.

"Here's the proof. This is my engagement ring," her eyebrows wiggled.

"E, wala ka ngang pinapakilala sa amin na boyfriend mo, tapos engaged ka na agad?!"

"Palihim ako lumandi," she winked.

I froze. I couldn't move my body nor blink my eyes because I'm still absorbing the informations that I've got from her.

Gago, akala ko kahit ganito ang situation ko, mas mauuna pa rin akong ikasal sa kan'ya. I never thought that... o, my God, Elaine!

"I'm just kidding!" She chuckled. "Hindi ko pa kasi pinapakilala noon dahil sabi ko sa kan'ya, kapag siya na talaga ang mapapangasawa ko, roon ko siya ipapakilala sa inyo. You know him, Elvira, so rest assured that I'm in good hands. Mamaya ang engagement party. You must come, little sister, or you'll never get a boyfriend!"

"Who's the guy?"

She smiled sheepishly. Dahan-dahan siyang umupo sa upuan na nasa aking harap at tiningala ako upang magtama ang tingin naming dalawa. I could see the hesitation in her eyes. Pinilig ko ang aking ulo, naghihintay sa kan'yang sagot.

"Si Adiel..." She answered quickly. "Dr. Adiel, Zavion's friend. You know him, right?"

"Putangina?!" My lips parted. "Si Adiel?!" Tumaas ang aking boses. "Kung si Adiel, bakit hindi ko alam?! Ilang years na kayo?!"

"Matagal na kami..." She answered quietly. "He waited for me, Elvira. Ang tagal niya akong hinintay. Napaka-considerate niya. Gusto ko na walang makakaalam ng relasyon namin. Hindi ko siya gano'n ka-priority noon dahil puro ako career... pero nand'yan siya, walang reklamo, still supporting me and was the one who witnessed my every downfalls and success..."

"No one knows your relationship? Kahit si Zavion?"

"No one knows, only the two of us," she flashed a small smile. "I know our set-up was very hard for him but he chose to understand me. I know I was being unfair. S-siya 'yong tumanggap ng buong ako, Elvira, kahit 'yong parte kong binigay ko ang aking sarili sa iba para lamang sa grado..."

"Alam niya kung gaano ko kinamumuhian at pinandidirian ang aking sarili dahil doon, kaya nang sabihin ko sa kan'yang gusto ko na munang may mapatunayan sa sarili ko, gusto ko na munang mapatawad ko ang aking sarili sa pamamagitan ng mga tagumpay na gusto kong maabot, naghintay siya... hinintay niya ako," she looked at me and smiled.