Hidden in Your Smile | Beomjun/Yeongyu

Hidden in Your Smile

Yeonjun managed to carry Beomgyu to their shared room and carefully set him down on his bed. He draped the blanket folded at the end of his bed over Beomgyu and slightly tucked it.

Yeonjun walked over to his bed and kind of just sat on it. He planted his elbows on his knees and let his head hang. Then something popped into his head. He kneeled on the floor and put his hand under the bedside table, feeling around the surface for something he'd taped under it long ago. His hand landed on a little cardboard box.

He pulled it from its place under the table and stared at it for a moment.

"Hello, old friend." Yeonjun said quietly, careful not to wake Beomgyu up.

It was a box of cigarettes. It was an old habit, but right now he wanted one more than anything.

"Please don't." Echoed a voice through the dimly lit room.

Damn it.

"It nearly destroyed you. So please don't." Beomgyu pleaded.

Yeonjun continued staring at the box. Beomgyu was right. This habit nearly took everything from Yeonjun. He tossed the box on the table and slipped under his covers without a word. He turned to face the wall and away from Beomgyu.

A couple of seconds later he felt the bed dip behind him. Yeonjun squeezed his eyes shut and hoped Beomgyu wouldn't say anything else.

Yeonjun then felt a hand on his waist.

"Will you please look at me?" Beomgyu whispered.

Yeonjun didn't want to. He really didn't, it was the way Beomgyu said it. Beomgyu could convince Yeonjun to do things Yeonjun never thought he'd do, it was just the kind of power Beomgyu had over him.

Yeonjun shuffled around so he faced Beomgyu, and the proximity of their faces startled him. They were so close...

"What's happening to you?" Beomgyu asked.

The question nearly made Yeonjun explode.

You. You're happening to me. You drive me insane.

"Please don't ask me that." Yeonjun replied.

"Why? Why won't you tell me what's wrong? We used to talk about everything." Beomgyu sounded genuinely hurt, it just made Yeonjun even more upset.

"Just go to sleep, Beomgyu. Please." Yeonjun begged.

"We're not going to sleep until you tell me what's wrong." Beomgyu shook his head firmly.

"Trust me, Beomgyu. You don't want to hear it." Yeonjun said, turning back around to face the wall.

"Then why would I ask? Yeonjun, why won't you just tell me?" Beomgyu asked once more, sounding more desperate by the minute.

Yeonjun sighed sharply and sat up. "Because you'd hate me if you knew."

"I could never hate you, Yeonjun." Beomgyu said, following Yeonjuns lead.

"You say that now." Yeonjun whispered under his breath.

"Because I mean it." Beomgyu emphasized. "I mean it when I say nothing you do or say could ever make me hate you."

"No. You don't. Stop saying things you don't mean." Yeonjun's voice started getting louder. God, it was so tempting to just grab him and kiss him to make him understand. But he knew if he did that no amount of apologizing would make Beomgyu forgive him.

"Fucks sake, Yeonjun- what do I have to do to make you believe me?" Beomgyu asked.

And that was like the straw that broke the camel's back. Yeonjun was so tired. This secret was killing him and he was tired.