Before You Go: A Jeongcheol AU

Kabanata 3

Kabanata 3

Bumangon ako sa kama nang tumunog ang alarm clock na sinet ko kaninang madaling araw. Damn. Napuyat ako, ang hapdi ng mga mata ko. Mag a-alas dos na nang makatulog ako dahil sa mga paper works na dinala ko sa bahay.

Nagtungo ako sa banyo upang gawin ang mga dapit gawin sa umaga. Nagluto rin ako ng agahan para sa sarili. Akmang isusubo ko na ang hotdog na nakatusok sa tinidor nang maalala kong August 4 ngayon, birthday ni mom. Mabilis kong tinapos ang kinakain bago naligo.

I'm going to visit my parents' tomb.

Nag-drive ako patungo sa isang flower shop at bumili ng dalawa atsaka tumungo sa sementeryo. I closed the car's door and walked towards the entrance of the gloomy yet peaceful place. Nakita kong isa lang ang bulaklak na nakapatong sa dalawang lapida na magkatabi. Napangisi ako. I guess Joshua had been here already. Kahit kailan talaga early bird 'yon. Hindi parin siya nagbabago.

Naupo ako sa harap ng dalawang magkatabing puntod at inilapag ang mga bulaklak. I stared at the tombs then I sighed.

"I miss you mom... and dad."

Umihip ang isang banayad na hangin. Napangiti ako.

"It's been a long time since you two left us. I was a 19 year old boy back then when my whole world crumbled when that incident happened.

"I was grieving but then... I have a younger brother who has hurting too. Even though he was just four months younger than me, I had to be strong for him. He was more vulnerable than I am. I chose not to show everyone how I mourned. Because from that time, I had to stand as his brother and at the same time, his parent." I gulped, hoping that the lump in my throat will disappear.

"I was silently grieving in the dark... A-And up 'til now, I still am." My voice cracked. I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from crying.

"Look mom, dad. I'm already successful. But I can't seem to find happiness on what I have achieved." Hinaplos ko ang pangalan ni mama na nakaukit sa lapida.

In loving memories...

Name: Mijan H. Choi

Birthday: August 04, 1968

Death: September 17, 2010

"Siguro, masaya kayo ni dad kasi magkasama kayo." Natigilan ako nang may maalala.

"Or... maybe not." Natawa ako nang mapait.

"I hope, I can find my happiness. Can you give me a sign, clue or whatsoever, mom?" I chuckled. Pumikit ako at hinayaang yumakap sa akin ang malamig na hangin.

Ilang sandali pa ay biglang may nagsalita sa aking gilid.

"Jahdie?" Nagmulat ako ng mga mata at tumingin sa tumawag sa'kin. I was a bit shocked to see Shilohan standing in front of me.

"Shilohan, what are you doing here?" Tumingin siya sa dalawang puntod sa'king harap. Unti-unting lumaki ang mata niya habang nakatingin doon. He slowly turned to me with his lips parted. I was confused with his reaction.

"U-uh..." Umupo siya sa tabi ko.

"Y-you're visiting your parents." Napakurap ako. Hindi iyon tunog nagtatanong.