CAMBRIA

SIXTEEN

And just like that, everything changed. All the hardships, all the heartache, meant nothing, suddenly reduced to blip of the past in a split second.

Nothing else mattered. Lawson loved her. And she loved him. And together, they could get through anything, conquer whatever obstacles came their way.

Her future suddenly seemed brighter, hopeful.

When she was young, she envisioned herself growing up, getting married, having babies, starting a family, as though that were her only objective in life. She never considered anything else. It wasn't until she reached adulthood that she realized these ideals had been injected hypodermically into her mind. For the first time in her life, she realized she was an autonomous being with the ability to think for herself. And when she really thought about it, the idea of marriage and children simply did not appeal to her as it once did. Cambria envisioned vast things for herself, for her future, and she feared that having a child would restrain her.

With that being said, she wasn't completely opposed to the idea. Sometimes she thought about it, being a mother, having a baby. It would be neat, she concluded, having a carbon copy of herself. Someone to hold and raise and shape into a complete person.

But regardless, she liked knowing that she had options, and that ultimately, it was her own choice, not the choice of anyone else.

When she tried explaining this to Lawson, he seemed utterly perplexed. "So, you don't want children?"
"I never said that. I just haven't made up my mind yet. And I like to weigh out my options."
"But most women want to have a baby. Heather was always going on about how badly she wanted one."
"Having babies is fine. But not having babies is also fine."
"So there's a possibility that you won't have kids?"
"I don't know. Is this an important question to you?"
"Kind of, yeah. I want to start a family. I've always wanted a son. To teach him everything I know. I want to give my kid a better life than my parents gave me. I'd make sure he had everything he ever wanted and never went without. I'd be the best father in the world to him."
"Or her," Cambria said.
"What?"
"If you had a daughter."
"Sure," he said, an afterthought, as if having a daughter had never occurred to him before. "I guess a girl would be alright."
Cambria smiled to herself. "A girl would be perfect."

One evening after work, Cambria came home and took a bath. She lit some candles and put music on as she lay in the tub with her eyes closed. Once she was done, she wrapped herself in a towel and walked to the kitchen, filling a pot of water to boil, then reached for the phone to call Lawson. He was supposed to be at her place for six. It was now six fifteen.

There was no answer.

She proceeded to make herself dinner, despite the fact that they usually ate together. Pouring herself a glass of wine, she brought her plate of pasta into the living room and got situated on the couch while she turned on the TV. Her eyes flickered to the clock in the corner. It was now 6:45 p.m.

He had a habit of doing this sometimes, showing up late, and in some cases, not at all. He'd claim later that something came up, or that he forgot. Other times, he'd show up hours later, citing the same excuses; he got caught up at work, had to take an important call, had fallen asleep, lost track of the time.

Seven o'clock came and still no word from him. She waited and waited, unsure of where he could be. If he wasn't at home to answer his phone, then where else could he be?

He arrived shortly after eight, fluttering into the room with a flurry of excuses. His neighbor's house had flooded, and their dog escaped, and Lawson was the only possible person who could have helped. And then, while on his way over here, was stuck in traffic.