DEAR YOU [Part 2]

Chapter 28

Jack

I removed my glasses and placed them, folded, next to the letter.
Maybe it was time. I spent so much of my time trying to conceal that side but its not that I realize that that part is not meant for hiding. My broken part is the most real part about me and even though its scary, I still need to reveal it. Atleast to my family, to the people tha matter.

My hands softly traced the wooden railing as I descended down from the stairs. The house had its usual dull atmosphere with minimal to no lights on. It had been this was since weeks because the light that shone brightest, didn’t anymore, because of me?

“Can we talk?” I knocked twice on the door to the living room where Flo had dozed off. Waking up swiftly, she looked at me and nodded.

“Uh” I sat down across from her, my hands interlocked resting on my thighs.

“What is it Jack?”

“I care.” I broke down unexpectedly. It felt as if all the emotions I had kept locked up for so long, at that moment teamed up and made their way out. And it felt nice, untied.

“I am sorry for the way I behaved in front of the kids and the way I tried to cover up this very real thing by just not talking about it.
I always used to feel that you are enough for me and it's still true. But the fact is, the two of them came from you, from us, they are a part of you.
I miss them honey and I am scared they will never want anything to do with us ever again.”

Florence rushed towards me and gathered me in her arms, giving me the tightest, warmest, most affectionate hug I could ever want.

“Its gonna be okay honey.” She whispered as her hands squeezed my arms tightly.

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“Where are you going honey?” I heard Florence's voice from the couch we had slowly drifted off to.
“There's something I have to do.”

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I was sitting in my car, my hands anxiously moving placed on the wheel. My mind alternating between whether I should go in or just leave right now and be there with Florence,

Its time you show them yours.

“No no I am not going to do this again.” Anthony changed his direction of motion as soon as his eyes caught me. Hands up in the air, like he was surrendering to our relationship.
“What is it now dad? You want fake apologise for how you fake apoplogizd before?” he said blunty.

I took a step towards him, my eyes not leaving the trail of ants on the ground. Maybe I jus wanted to find out where they were going or maybe I was just trying to collect the courage to look him in the eyes.

Finally, with a deep breathe and an uncluttered head, I looked  up,

“I am sorry.” To which he gave me his familiar, I don’t belive it reaction.

“I am sorry that I didn’t pay attention when I needed to, that I made fun of you when I should have helped you and that I put too much pressure on you when I should just have told you that its all going to be okay.”

His head moved a bit, eyes squinted and brows furrowed as if he was trying to make sense of the words that came out of my mouth. And I don't balme him, I couldn’t understand it either  but it felt right.

“I get if its too late now but I just wanted to say that.” I paused trying to emphasize the words that followed, “I am proud of you and your sister.”

We stood there in silence for what felt like an hour, nothing but the muffled sound of car horns and the crowd gathering was heard from far.

I tried, I said everything I wanted to and I know things aren’t going to go back to normal in a second. It takes time, everything takes time. I was about to retrace my steps when I turned to his words,

“Would you want to come in? Talk?”

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