What is love? Just a chance of emotion

Demon Slayer House. 1

Six weeks ago, the demon slayer corps were invited to a mansion for a time to spend with each other. They didn't know that the demons were there, too. Now we personally interview members of these two groups.

Interviewer:
"Mr Kibutsuji. How are you today?"
Muzan sits down with bags under his eyes.

Muzan:
"Pain."
He says simply as he hasn't had coffee in weeks.

Interviewer:
"Why am I ask?"
The person asks Muzan, eyes shaking.

Muzan:
"First Douma won't stop being loud, reading weird love romance stories or fucking women next door to my room! Or he is pranking me! He literally took a dump in the coffee machine!"
He shouts, making sure they all heard.

Secne change/flashback:

Muzan:
"Why is Gyokko pucking up Kokushibo?"
He asks his right hand man who sighs.

Kokushibo:
"Douma was drunk last night."
He says like its normal.

Muzan:
"What do you mean?"
He asks as he took a sip of his coffee.

Kokushibo:
"Don't drink the coffee."
He says before seeing it in his hands, all six eyes widen in realisation.

Muzan:
"I already had my morning-. *sudden realisation* No. No! NOOOOO!!!!!"
He drops the coffee as goes to his knees crying.

Douma:
"Morning!"
He says like nothing happened.

Muzan:
"Run gay eyes, run!"
He says with veins pooping out his head.

Douma:
"Ain't that a bit homo-. OH, DEAR LORD!!!"

Back to the interview:

Muzan:
"Secondly, Gyutaro and Daki are too damn loud! They won't shut up even at the dead of night!"
He vents out, having more flashbacks.

Scene change/flashback:

Muzan is in his bed, dreaming of having a peaceful day, then Yoriichi came, with a machine gun filled with Nichirin bullets and shot him up.

Daki:
"Nii-san! They won't stop bullying me!"
Daki cries as Douma t-pose over her.

Gyutaro:
"Whose bullying my cute little sister!"
He says with him getting up from the couch.

Akaza:
"Do you really have to ask that?"
He says to him while putting up a sign that says 'make demon kind better again and get rid of Douma.''

Douma:
"She looks like a four at best."
He says with a smile. Suddenly, he's getting a punch from Gyutaro and Daki. Akaza watched on with tears. He was proud.

Kokushibo:
"It's fucking midnight! Get to fucking bed or I swear to Jesus himself, you won't be seeing Santa anytime soon!"
He says with him then getting ready to use his Moon Breathing.

Muzan:
"I just want to sleep."
He says while hearing the sounds of Daki screaming, Douma getting his head blown off, Kokushibo destroying the room and Gyutaro and Akaza walking away.

Back to interview:

Muzan:
"Thirdly, is Kokushibo's brother. He scares me."
He says, remembering a nightmare where Yoriichi was his waiter and gave him the wrong order and forced him to eat it.

Scene change/flashback:

Kokushibo:
"This is my brother, Yoriichi."
He tapped Yoriichi shoulder.

Yoriichi:
"I don't like him. I know now that my life's purpose is to destroy that man... at Uno."
He pulled out Uno and three of them played.

Muzan thought he had Uno until Yoriichi hit hit with sixteen different plus fours. From that day, he never recovered.

Interviewer:
"Mr Kamado. How are you liking your stay with the others?"
He asks Tanjiro as the poor teen had a flashback.

Flashback/ Scene change:

Muzan:
"This is how you play a game."
He says while pulling the his knife with the Kamado family dead, except Nezuko because of plot.

Tanjiro:
"You killed my family!!!"
He says while seeing Muzan Moonwalk.

Muzan:
"Well, call me a demon slayer then."
He says while spinning and dancing.

Tanjiro:
"Wh-."

Muzan:
"Because this demon is a slayer!"
His says while pointing to sign that he was unstoppable.

Flashback end:

Tanjiro:
"Everything is fine.

Outside noises:
"Fight me!"
"Super flamboyant!"
"Demon are just demons."
"Nezuko-chan! Marry me!"

Tanjiro:
"I got something to do."
He picks up his sword and walks out as Kanao is right there.

Interviewer:
"This may have been a bad idea."

Interviewer:
"So, Mr Tsugikuni. How is this place?"
He asks Yoriichi, who still had sixteen plus fours to give to Muzan.

Yoriichi:
"Muzan will die for touching nii-san's
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Anime collection."

Interviewer:
"What do you mean?"

Flashback time:

Kokushibo:
"Muzan threw away all my anime figures."
He says while crying with all six eyes.

Yoriichi:
"Why?"
Yoriichi asks, really confused and tilting his head.

Kokushibo:
"I think he's a yandere."
He says, remembering Muzan's reaction when he didn't call him the best waifu.

Flashback in a flashback:

Douma:
"Do you want to see a magic trick?"
He says with a gun.

Kokushibo:
"I swear. If this is you shooting a woman in front of Akaza again,"
He tells him, remembering the incident when Douma shot a woman called Kanae in front of Douma.

Douma:
"I will shoot a woman in front of... Gyutaro."
Shoots Daki.

Kokushibo:
"Why, though?"

Douma:
"Bitch was too much."

Kokushibo:
"Nani the fuck!?"

Douma:
"100,000 yen for a han-."

Kokushibo:
"I get it. Why the fuck are you waisting the money, our lord and saviour Muzan-sama gives us, on Daki."

Douma:
"Something to do."

Akaza:
"Ayo. Why is Daki on the floor with a gunshot wound?"

Kokushibo:
"She was smighted by the all powerful, thot control."

Douma:
"Or me."
Puts gun behind his back.

Akaza:
"I know who did this. It was that pesky Rengoku. I will tell him to meet me at the train wreck tomorrow!"

Kokushibo:
"Wait... what train wreck?"

Enmu:
"Guys, I can become a train!"

Douma:
"All abored trans express!"

Muzan:
"Why are you looking at me?"

End of the filler chapter. Expect an update in ten years.