the balcony ••• awsten knight

four

Emily decides against mentioning that it's become one of her favourite shows and she's now dreading reaching the episode that Sadie features in— she doesn't want this girl to ruin her new favourite show.

Soon, Awsten and Geoff wander back over. Emily has never been filled with anything but dread when she sees Awsten, but right now she feels relieved.

She notices Sadie's demeanour change when Awsten rejoins her side. It's like she perks up and re-masks herself, prepared to play up to whatever act she has mastered when in his company. Or maybe Emily is just reading too far into it.

"I'm gonna go find some of my friends," Emily announces, mostly to Geoff.

"Alright, Em. I'll see you around," he bends down to hug her quickly.

"Congrats, again," she smiles up at him as they pull away, before offering a small wave to Awsten and Sadie.

"Em?" Awsten repeats, surprised by the nickname.

"Yeah," Geoff responds, slowly. "What?"

"Nothing, just— I didn't realise y'all were on a nickname basis," Awsten shoots back, earning an eye roll.

"I know you don't like her, but I think she's nice," Geoff counters, being as fair as always.

"If she's so nice, maybe you should marry her," Awsten mocks, immaturely.

"I need to find Otto," Geoff mutters, with a sigh, before walking away.

The night continues with more mingling. Awsten sees Emily talking to both Geoff and Otto for a large portion of the night.

She's been congratulating them non-stop, gushing about the album and how great it is. She hasn't congratulated Awsten, though, and he wonders why that stings.

Jawn soon arrives to the party, having only just flown in from Houston. He spends a little while with Awsten, before Sadie begins to give him a headache, so he finds Geoff and Otto.

They introduce Jawn to Emily. Jawn likes her a lot, too. She compliments his work immensely.

He doesn't seem to have recognised her from that party, but she's put the face to the name and something has definitely clicked.

Awsten finds himself rolling his eyes when he sees them conversing from the other side of the room. He can't help but wonder why she seems so much more willing to talk with his friends and make a good impression, but not with him.

It's a possibility that he's bitter, but he wouldn't admit that.

Most of the excitement from the start of the night that was keeping his anxiety at bay has worn off by now. He stopped watching his friends with Emily a while ago, when all of his attention needed to be taken up by his girlfriend.

"I really think you should have some water," Awsten suggests again, for the fourth time.

"I am fine," Sadie slurs. "You don't need to worry. I'm just having fun!" She throws her hands up in the air, almost knocking into someone who's walking past her.

Awsten takes her hands gently, guiding them out of anyone else's path, as he mumbles an apology to the passerby.

"I need to use the bathroom," Sadie states. "Can you let me do that for five minutes?" She mocks him, clearly finding it much more amusing than he does.

Awsten sighs as he lets go of her hands, his eyes following her as she wanders off. He loses sight of her quickly, which causes a pit to form in his stomach.

Five minutes soon turned into fifteen. Awsten goes looking for her and finds that she's not in the bathroom. He continues searching, until he spots her amongst a group. She's leant against a counter, engrossed in a conversation with the men around her— Awsten doesn't really recognise them, but there seems to be a lot of people here that he doesn't know.

He hears Sadie laughing as he gets closer. An over-the-top laugh, formulated to impress company, yet somehow it still sounds believable. She's an actress, after all, it's what she's good at. It often leaves Awsten wondering what's real and what's acting in their own relationship.

The whole party suddenly feels very crowded. He doesn't like being here anymore, but he can't just leave and not come back.

So, he decides on at least just stepping out for some fresh air.

As soon as his eyes are on the exit, he makes a b-line for the door. In that time, the air gets thicker and it feels harder to breathe. He finds himself almost-running towards the door.

Awsten pushes the door open with an unexpected amount of force, taking a deep breath once he's outside.

"You look like you've just been chased out of there," a familiar voice says, flatly.

Awsten only glances to see Emily stood there, leant against a railing.

The pounding sense of deja vu clouds his thoughts for a moment, but he brushes it off.

"Just needed some fresh air," Awsten takes a deep breath. He scrunches up his nose when he smells something odd, turning his head to see Emily taking a drag of a cigarette. "Looks like I came to the wrong place for that," he grumbles, taking a seat on the ledge below him.

"You're more than welcome to leave, any time you like," Emily rolls her eyes, blowing out the smoke in the opposite direction to Awsten.

"Smoking is bad for you, y'know," he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Really? I had no idea," Emily feigns a shocked expression, shooting back with a sass-filled tone, earning a brief glare. "I'm aware, thanks," she laughs, dryly. "It's not a habit I'm exactly happy about," she adds, taking another drag.

"So, why do it?" Awsten presses, curiously— his voice is much less spiteful this time.

"I don't need to explain myself to you, of all people," Emily retorts, blowing the smoke away from him again— Awsten appreciates that she's at least doing that much.

She looks down at him, finding his eyes already on her; he wears a puzzled expression, as if he's trying to piece together the parts of her that he knows— the very few of them—with the missing pieces that he doesn't have yet.

He averts his gaze when she catches him, though, and clears his throat.

"I don't do it all the time," Emily speaks up, after a short quiet had fallen. "It was a habit that I picked up from my ex. I only ever do it in social situations, or when I've had a drink," she explains, looking out in front of her, rather than to Awsten. "More-so, when I'm stressed."

She glances to him momentarily, seeing him nod in response.

"But, like I said," Emily exhales a final breath of smoke, before putting her cigarette out beside her, "I don't need to explain myself to you," she adds, with a sense of finality, as she turns on her heels and heads back inside.

***