𝐇 𝐈 𝐑 𝐀 𝐄 𝐓 𝐇

t w e n t y- f i v e

 Life begins to feel like a circle of distracting rituals and uninteresting times until you begin to accomplish things in dissociating thoughts. You stand in the mirror after a hot shower, a rough towel wrapped about your chest, staring for an unsettling amount of time at the mascara remnants beneath your eyes.

Do you ever have those moments when you simply can't help but touch a hot metal pot when it's on the gas burner, even though you know it'll hurt? But you do it anyhow, simply to feel anything, to take the numbness out of your heart.

And that's the moment when you start questioning yourself. Why am I living after all? What's the point of living?

By the time you realize the numbness in your heart, you wish nothing more than to get out of it.

And that's what I felt, almost for 2 years after Maxwell's betrayal.

The feeling of not feeling anything.

The feeling of misery. 

The feeling of self-hatred. 

The feeling of ending it all, because after all, what's the point of life anyway?

It was like a constant cycle of emotions. The emotions that couldn't be felt anymore.

That's what I felt for 2 years after Maxwell's betrayal.

But I got myself out of it. And I am not going to go back into that hole again, never again.

One good thing I felt after watching this video, that was sent to me by an unknown email, probably sent by someone from the Russian Mafia was the feeling of not feeling numb anymore.

There were only two emotions I felt right now.

Protective.

There was an urge for me to protect. Not only for myself, but for him as well. To protect him from the demons that haunt his mind every night when he goes to sleep. To protect him from his pathetic excuse of a father. To protect him from himself.

And the last and the most exciting feeling that took over me and will probably take over my whole existence will be the one that will probably destroy my life. But what's the use of living if you don't live it to the fullest, right?

The sensation to get my revenge.

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

Isabella- Delilah's mother, the one who was involved in Delilah's assassination program.( refer to chapter 13-18 if confused)

2 weeks later.

\D E L I L A H W A R N E R|

It was Isabella's birthday today.

She would have turned 49 today.

If she was alive. 

But she wasn't. 

Because she was killed off by him.