Love Me Again

Chapter 36 - This is between us

"We," Kyle corrected him and earned a glare from Sean.           

"No," Ashley murmured.           

"No?" Sean repeated in surprise. "Why not?"

She laughed humorlessly. "You can't help me."

           

"I can if you tell me what's wrong," Sean said, frustrated. "I can fix it." 

           

"Then can you fix my heart? Can you?" Ashley asked, her voice level rising at every word. 

           

"I can," Sean insisted. "It will take a long time, but I will spend the rest of my life fixing it and earn your trust again." 

           

"What if I won't let you? What will you do?" 

           

"I won't give up until you let me. You say you have forgiven me. Is that a lie?" His gaze softened and he slowly approached her. 

           

Ashley stood still and did not retreat as she stared at him warily. When he finally reaches her, she allows herself to be pulled into his strong embrace. Why was it that his embrace makes her feel safe, where she feels that she could depend on him?

“... But I can’t forgive myself.” After years of struggling to remain strong, she finally let herself free, along with the tears that she had blocked from flowing out.

           

She does not know how long she had cried, but Sean did not stop holding her, whispering soothing murmurs to her, but it only served to make her tears fall heavier. It was because of his patience towards her, that she felt it was now the right time to take a step forward from the guilt that mainly stopped her from reconciling with Sean.

“I… need that two… two million.” Ashley stuttered and then clammed up, unable to continue. 

Sean’s expression turned dark when he noticed her aversion towards the topic, yet still trying to open up. “Shhh, take your time. Take a deep breath.”

Kyle helpfully filled a glass of water for her, which she only held onto without taking a sip. 

Ashley took a deep breath as Sean advised and although it did not stop the building panic, it had successfully unblocked her throat. “I need the money… for... for surgery. My dad, he… he needs a bone marrow transplant and I… I’m a good match.”

"I didn't know," Sean said, looking guilty.

            

"Because I did not tell you and I asked my family to keep it a secret. But…  but that two million was not entirely paid for my dad's surgery." 

Sean frowned. “Whatever remains from the two million is free for you to use whatever you want. You do not need to feel guilty for it.”

Ashley shook her head and her hands holding onto the cup trembled. “No… I-I… the rest is used for my surgery.”

"You mean your surgery to donate your bone marrow to your father?" Kyle asked.

"No, another surgery." 

"What surgery?" Sean asked, looking strange. “Ashley, are you sick?”

She knew that after revealing it, things would change. It was difficult to gather her little courage to say it, but she could not hide it forever. “Abortion.”

As she expected, Sean immediately staggered back from shock and pushed away from her hands that tried to grab him. Both of their movements caused the cup in her hands to drop to the floor and smash into pieces. 

Just like how Sean’s heart was smashed by what she said. “Is it because of me?”

She immediately shook her head like a hysterical woman. “No! It’s not you, never you! It’s my fault! Oh my God, I hoped for my baby, but, but I killed … my baby.”

From a glance, Sean could see there was something wrong with Ashley’s extreme reaction and he managed to push past his pain to see it. “Ashley? Why do you abort our child?”

Slowly pulling herself together, she clenched her fists tightly and no longer raised her head to look at them. "I know I… I’m pregnant when I undergo a test to see if I could give my bone marrow to my dad. The doctor told me there might be a possibility that the surgery could affect my baby, but … but I just couldn't leave my dad like that. Dad has no other remaining relative that matches with him, except for me."

"But how about Ashton? Did no one consider him?" Sean asked the cruel question.

“He is,” Kyle answered instead. “But the surgery was too risky for him. He's a weak child, and only in recent years has he slowly become stronger."

Kyle had known about it from Ashton, who was worried for his father. He wanted to be the one that donates his bone marrow, but his family, even Kyle, does not agree with it. When the Summers finally decide to have Ashley do the donation, Kyle was actually relieved because his lover would be safe.

No one knows Ashley had taken her unborn child’s life as a risk and she lost the gamble.