HuaLian TGCF Oneshots

The distant past

Happy 6.9k 🥳. I'm very mature, yes :)

Legit just hurt/comfort. Nothing is super graphic but please don't read if you're not comfortable! Author Chan is just overly dramatic and likes seeing usually reserved characters being emotionally vulnerable <3
Side-note: this chapter took forever because I couldn't figure out how to make Xie Lian smell, any thoughts?

It hurt. Not a single place on his body felt safe. It hurt inside. It hurt outside. And it hurt everywhere in between.

He couldn't even think. Couldn't move. Couldn't breathe.

From somewhere far away he heard a rasping noise, the sound of breathing. A trembling and frail thing in the dark of the night.

It felt so lonely here. So, so lonely.

Is this how it will always be, the moment I'm away from you?

He hopes it is. He hopes it isn't.

Hua Cheng rises on trembling feet, sticking a hand out for purchase on a cold stone wall when locking his knees is not enough to keep him upright.

Warmth pours down the side of his face and the distinct tang of blood fills the air, invading his nostrils and hampering already harried breathing.

This is fine, he thinks darkly. This is no more than he deserves. To be rotting here, alone and in the dark.

Even as he believes this in his mind, his feet carry him foreword.

Dianxia, I'm cold. Won't you come save me again? Dianxia, I'm lonely. Won't you tell me once again, why I should live?

His rasping voice lets out a small huff of laughter, ending in a coughing fit that wracks his body and threatens the already precarious grip he has on his consciousness.

Who is he to beg for someone to come save him? Who would listen even if he begged?

There is no one here in the depths of Mt. Tonglu. No one here to hear him or hold him in this place devoid of life.

Even the red string that had kept him going this far, the imaginary string in his heart that connected him to the one he cherished seemed strained. Weak.

Above all else, it is the one thing he can not bear, to see the only thing keeping him in this world crumble and break.

He feels himself free falling into this moment of weakness, his mind replaying memories of the past.

A cursed kingdom, a beloved prince. A lonely cave, a struggling boy. A torn altar, a broken man atop it.

His brain loves to torture him with this memory the most. To remind him again and again if his helplessness, of his weakness. He sees crimson blood spilling in rivulets down white robes. An eerie mask -half laughing and half smiling- sitting smugly besides him. A crowd of people who eagerly line up to hurt. The sound of a sword in flesh- again and again and again and again.

His memories rotate in and out, digging deeper and deeper into him. He can't breathe. He can't think.

A flash of a silver mask, the warmth of hands holding him. A delicate flower, an umbrella in blood rain. A lifetime's promise, a binding red thread.

His conviction, offering a flower and his devotion and receiving in turn an umbrella and a thank you.

Hua Cheng wakes with a gasp, hands gently shaking his shoulders.

He lunges up, shaking off the person's hold on him. He feels himself acting feral, almost rabid, and shrinks over to the corner of the room.

A gentle voice calls out to him and now all he can see is moonlight illuminating a beautiful face.

A lullaby sounds out in the hush of the room, rising and falling in lilting and familiar tones.

His highness is in front of him now, still humming soothingly.

"Gege?" He calls out shakily.

"I'm here, San Lang. I'm here." Warm arms reach out to him, pulling him close and keeping him protected. Hua Cheng buries his face into the smell of peonies in a spring rain.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Xie Lian speaks after a while.

"It doesn't happen often, I'm sorry for waking you." Hua Cheng replies, his voice muffled in Xie Lian's robes.

Hua Cheng felt more than heard the gentle rumble of Xie Lian's chest as he spoke "Don't apologize for something like that, San Lang. I'd wake up again and again for you if you needed me to."

He was a ghost king, he should be beyond things like comfort and nightmares. But feeling his beloved in his own arms after revisiting every time Xie Lian had slipped through his fingers had left him raw and aching.

Hua Cheng lets himself stay like this, feeling like if he could he would burrow instead the warmth of his husband and never leave.

Xie Lian speaks after a few moments of comforting silence "You can tell me, if you want. What happens in your dreams. I used to have such nightmares too."

Hua Cheng swallows, clearing his hoarse throat before he starts to speak. "It's always the same dream. It's always you in it with me, all the times I failed you."

"You have never failed me," Xie Lian speaks, arms tightening around him.

"Gege, I let them hurt you. I was right there and I couldn't do anything."

"You did everything you could have." The voice replying was soft and full of conviction.

It only made Hua Cheng feel more guilty.

"Gege said he used to have such nightmares too, what were they about?" Hua Cheng asks, still wrapped comfortably in Xie Lian's arms.

"You, mostly." Xie Lian admits after a small pause "Wuming."

A noise of understanding settles itself deep in Hua Cheng's throat.

"Gege knows he need not feel guilty or sorry for anything regarding me. It was my duty - no, my pleasure, to serve you."

"It feels so much worse, to know I used you like that without even knowing who you were." Xie Lian replies in a small voice.

"Gege need not know me. I am always known to his heart." Hua Cheng answers earnestly.

Xie Lian just laughs and kisses him, gentle and firm. "What am I supposed to say to that. My San Lang is so sweet to me."

Hua Cheng just buried himself deeper into Xie Lian's chest.

The lullaby continues late into the night and no more words are said - they are no longer needed in the face of two people who understand each other better than themselves.