Playing With The Bad Boy

i might just go hit your car or something

Chapter 53. I might just go hit your car or something

I pull up to the abandoned-looking railroad track and I feel both anxiety and relief as I see Axel's car.

Words jumble in my mind back and forth as I near the bridge. The sounds of the water rushing fill the air and vivid flashbacks of Axel and I from months ago play through my head as I near the edge.

Eli and I's last conversation play through my mind.

-*-*-*

"Eli I don't think I can tell him how I really feel."

"Why's that?" He yawns as he reclines the passenger seat back.

"What if I look stupid and he doesn't feel the same?"

"So? This isn't about that Care, this is about you saying what you want to say."

-*-*-*

I feel empty at the melancholy reflections of us before everything became what it is.

I lean over the bridge and see the concrete ledge about 2-3 feet wide. 

I take a deep breath before I swing my legs over the ledge. The drop was no more than ten feet which was ten too many.

I drop down and I wish I could tell you how graceful it was. However, given my weak shins, I bust my knee on the concrete.

"Ouch," I murmur out before wobbling to stand up.

I'm not sure if he's heard me so I crawl under to where I'm now under the bridge and there's Axel reading what looks to be a manga.

His dark brown eyes dart up for a moment and his thick eyebrows furrow for a millisecond before he returns back to his reading. He has a pack of Oreo's next to him and he pops one in his mouth before clearing his throat.

"You stalking me?" He asks, his voice felt like a stranger. As if this was our first conversation ever.

Like we were never even friends.

"I just...wanted to talk," my voice was unsteady as I sat on one of the beams supporting the bridge facing him.

He lets out a deep sigh and closes his reading and diverts his attention to me, "Yeah?"

"I don't... I don't know what we are or what we were...but I really don't like how things are right now..." I explain and I feel more and more vulnerable as each word escapes.

He doesn't say anything and the quietness that grows over us leaves me feeling intolerable as I stare at the water.

"It's cool Carolina," Is all he says and I shake my head, "What do you mean?"

"We're friends, I don't hate you, we should've stayed friends, all of this was a huge mistake," He cooly states and he glances back at me, his expression not with a hint of sadness.

But instead, almost happiness. 

As if this really was a mistake for him, like he's found peace in us not being anything but friends.

"Are you serious?" I ask, completely dumbfounded.

"Us moving forward... that was bad, on my part, I shouldn't have suggested it, we never would've worked," I thought what we were before this was horrible but this felt like a nightmare.

"Axel...-"

"Carolina, it's cool don't sweat it, we're good," He cooly states as his lip draws up to smirk and I feel my heart drop to my stomach.