In the end.

Bonfires and booze

The funeral was beautiful, well in a morbid kinda way. There were flowers everywhere. It was a full military service. With the 21 gun salute, the flag bein' folded and presented to my folks. The whole nine yards.

Brantley's speech was absolutely amazing, and mine was well, somewhat of a disaster. I cried like a freakin' baby. Between sobs and hiccups, my words came out a jumbled mess. Everyone understood, but I still felt like a failure.

Once the service and brunch were done, Brantley told everyone about the bonfire. It would start at dusk, so it gave people time to go home to relax and change. It gave me time to hit the ABC store, (our friendly liquor store) to stock up on Jack Daniels.

Needless to say, momma had a hell of a time gettin' me movin' this mornin'. What with my late night bender and cry fest. I had one hell of a hangover, and I needed some of the hair of the dog that bit me and what not. Plus I really didn't want to deal with people sober. All the "I'm so sorry." And "He will be truly missed." I need the comfortable numb that the booze would offer.

My trip to the ABC was a quick one. I ran in, bought four bottles, paid and got the hell outta dodge. I left three bottles in the truck and took the remaining one into the house with me. I ran into Kyle's room, and grabbed his flask belt buckle. Then headed to my room to get ready. A quick shave and shower then I was out and dryin' off.

I chose my favorite cut up jeans, with a tight black button up with a tank top under it. To finish off my look, I rocked Kyle's belt buckle and my black Justin boots. My hair was left down and I didn't bother with makeup. I'd just cry or sweat it off anyways.

Brantley had offered to pick me up, but I declined. I'd drive myself, and if I got to fuckered up, I had an eight foot bed that never needed to be made. Though lucky for me, I could hold my booze. For my size, I could drink most men under the table. I had proven that more than once with Kyle and Timmy.

Driving to Brantley's, I tried to stay up beat, but it was really hard to do. Everywhere I went, I seen Kyle. Memories are a fuckin' bitch sometimes. As I pulled up to Brantley's, I drove up a long drive way where a gate was open. The house was beautiful, it was a log cabin style home with a wrap around porch. I was pretty early, I wanted to see if any help was needed. This was for my brother after all. Hoppin outta the truck I was greeted buy  a bull dog, the name on his collar. SYLO. He's the sweetest dog I've ever met. Hell he's was a marshmallow, just like his owner. Speakin' of owners, where the hell was BG? Bitin' my lip I make my way up the steps with Sy followin' close behind. The door was open when I got to the top, so I took a tentative step past the threshold, and call out. "Umm, hello?" I hear noises comin' from the back of the house, so I follow the sound. I end up in the doorway to the kitchen. There's people flockin' in and out the room through the back door. Still no one notices me. I could probably rob this guy blind and no one would notice. Lucky for him, I'm not that kinda girl.

Just as I'm about to make myself known, Sy barks and dances at my feet. Brantley turns from the island he was leanin' at and looks for Sy. "Whats up, buddy...." He sees me standin' there pettin' Sy. "Hey Baby Girl. When did ya get here?" I smile a little and wave. "Hey.... Umm, I just got here. I called out, but I'm guessin' ya didn't hear me. Sorry I just walked in." He gives me his best crooked grin, but looks a bit sheepish. "Sorry Baby Girl. I sure didn't hear ya. And don't be sayin' sorry now darlin'. I did invite ya here."

He proceeds to introduce me to his momma, Miss. Becky and Kolby, his little brother. Though, there's nothing little about him. Kolby towers over Brantley, and makes me feel like a fetus. He's that freakin' big. Kinda makes me wonder how their momma carried and gave birth to the two of em'. Anyway, there were a few others, but my poor brain was shot, so I couldn't recall their names. I helped Miss. Becky briefly, before Brantley pulls me away, to go out back.

A few hours go by, and I'm holdin' up pretty well. The fire is a blazin', people are millin' around everywhere and I'm camped out on my tailgate. Brantley had pulled it back here for me. I guess it saves me from constant trips to the front of the house, to get my Jack. Now all I gotta do, is hop down and make my way to the drivers side door. I've almost polished off my first bottle, and I have to admit, I'm feelin' pretty dang good.

I decide to make a lap around the back yard and say my hellos to a few people, and thank everyone for everything they had done. First was Timmy, he had helped so much.. Next was a few others.

My solo cup was glued to my hand as I walked around. Every time I heard Kyle's name, I drank deeply . Needless to say, my cup was emptied quickly. I'd have to make a trip to the truck soon.

After a quick refill, I walked around some more. Kyle would have loved this I thought, as I stumbled across Brantley, literally. (I never claimed to be grateful.) He was sittin' near the bon fire, playin' his guitar.  He didn't see me standin' behind him, swayin' to the melody for a while, till he started singin' "Saving Amy". It was a beautiful song, hell it was one of my favorites, and maybe another time I could listen to it. But not now, not here when the loss of Kyle was so fresh.

As I try to make a graceful get away, but I trip over a log, and land on my ass. A shocked cry slips my lips, which has Brantley whippin' around and frowns when he sees me in the not so flatterin' position. My legs are flipped on one side of the log, and I'm just startin' to push myself up. To say I looked disheveled was an understatement.

I could hear a few chuckles, hell normally I'd be laughin' at myself, but at this point I'm on the verge of tears. It wasn't the embarrassment it was the song. I so could relate to Amy, and her feelin' like part of herself died when her man died. Cause at this point thats how I felt.

Brantley stands and offers me his large hand, I take it and notice how rough it is as it closes around my small soft one. This was a man that worked hard and used everythin' he had. I blush hotly as I stand. Not truly able to look him in the face. "You ok, Baby Girl?" I blow some hair outta my face and shrug a little. "Oh yeah! Just freakin' peachy." He chuckles as he wraps his arm around my shoulder. "How much have you been drinkin' tonight?" I pretend to think real hard and make a face. "Ummm... Not nearly enough? I'm not as drunk as you think I am. I'll live."

He arches a brow, and smirks a little. "Oh, really now? Lets see ya walk." He drops his arm from my shoulder, and I stagger slightly, before knockin into Timmy. (Shit! I guess I was drunker than I thought.)

Timmy rights me, and looks completely shocked to see me so messed up. "Dang girl! Ya never get this tour up. Ya ok?" I giggle and wave him off "I'm just grand, Big Guy!" Brantley and Timmy have matchin' expressions on their faces, of what the hell.. Next thing I know, I have tears runnin' down my face. Brantley wipes away a tear and scoops me up. He carries me into the house, the whole time, I just cry on his shoulder.

Brantley takes the steps two at a time goin' up to the bedrooms. "Ok, Baby Girl. Time to sleep." He boots open the door and walks in. I mumble somethin' into his chest, but he didn't catch it. "What darlin'?" I sigh heavily and move my face. "I don't got no clothes with me. I can't stay here." (Can ya tell I'm drunk? Really, I'm worried about clothes.) He laughs a little. "Baby Girl, you ain't drivin', and I ain't goin' anywhere. And before ya ask, Timmy is stayin' here to. Most everyone is, so you stuck like chuck." He sets me on the bed and walks to the closet to grab me a shirt. Tossin it to me, he grins. "As for somethin' to wear, here ya go." I grumble a soft "fine". As he turns to leave, I have a mild freak out. "WAIT!!!! PLEASE STAY. I don't wanna be alone. I promise to be have myself, just please stay." He sighs and mumbles somethin' before noddin'. "Ok darlin', I'll stay."