one day i began to think

north grand mall

I put it in my shorts pocket and finished laundry. then I went downstairs.. and I was staring at the ring. I was admiring it and how I hope I get one, a real one, when im proposed to like this one im holding. I fiddled with it in between my fingers until I placed it on my ring finger on my left hand.. just to see what it would look like.. to see what it would look like for me to be happily married. as I held my hand out.. instantly a flash of memory came rushing behind my eyes and I could see it clearer than ever.

"Bub! Bub!!Look!"

He walks over to me, placing his hand on my lower back, "Yes, my love?"

I hover over the display window filled with excitement, enough to where my breathed and finger print were leaving smudges all over the clean, pristine glass. "Look at these rings with me."

He did. He gazed at them, not as interested as I was, but enough to make me happy. We both scanned over them, watching them sparkle in the bright light shining over them.. until my eyes fixed onto a specific ring, one that to me stood out from all the rest. beautifully it sat on the felt display finger.. a square shaped, circle diamond ring.. but, it was in gold. I took in the biggest breath, swatting at his side saying "BUB!! LOOK! that one right there! that is my EXACT dream ring. it has everything I love. the shape, the diamond. it's literally perfect! I've never been able to find the exact one but this is it.. well, all of that, except it's in gold.. but I'm sure they'd have a silver one in the back."

he turned to me. "why don't we ask?"

my head snapped to him, almost as if I just remembered he cheated on me in my dream last night "WHAT?! no.. I mean.. what?"

"Yeah, and then you could try it on." underneath his black isu mask I saw his smile grow.. mine did as well under the same mask... as did my heart beat in speed. 

"but.. can you even do that? would they even let us?"

he grabbed my hand, "C'mon, lets go find out." and pulled me around the window to the open entrance of the jewelry store where a woman- prolly in her mid 30s- stood behind the counter. 

"Hi." he said, getting her attention. "She'd like to try on one of the rings in the display window over here."

my heart was beating so uncontrollably that it pounded through my ears. I could hear the conversation between them, but I was gone instead. so much flowing through my brain at the moment that I couldn't function right. I almost felt embarrassed.. but realized it was just me being so giddy I couldn't contain myself and got all shy and bashful. 

"Of course." she said kindly and a smile, seeing as my excitement is very noticeable. she had me show her which one, then we asked for one in silver since that's the kind of jewelry base I prefer. sadly, there wasn't one in my size that was silver, but when she handed over the ring in gold I felt like I had to treat it as if it were a new born. I held it in my hand carefully, and looked up to realize that both my boyfriend and the woman were looking at me. 

"aren't you going to try it on..?" he said. 

realizing that's what they were looking at me impatiently for, I slid the ring onto my ring finger on my left hand. admiring the ring as if I had just said yes. I felt tears attempt to swell in my eyes but I tried everything in my power to choke them down.. it's not like I was actually being proposed to yet.. but him wanting to see me try on my dream ring made him even more of an irresistible choice of a future husband to me..